Tuesday, 19 April 2011

MAKE HIM DUMP YOU




It’s common these days to get into a relationship and then spend all your time regretting it. Dumping someone especially a guy isn’t always easy. Many guys resort to suicide threat, abuses or even hardcore methods. Some might even confront your family or atleast threaten to. So here I illustrate five direct and easy methods whereby the boyfriend will happily run away and never again will you have to heave a sigh and think “Was I drunk when I got into this relationship?”

How to make your stupid but prospective murderer boyfriend dump you-

1)      Make the Over-Possessive bitch come out- Everyone appreciates a bit of possessiveness. But over- possessiveness? Act over possessive. Tell him you hate him meeting his friends. Call him at odd times like when he is in the movies with his friends or the club having a drink with his gang and tell him how you hate it. Force him to be with you rather than his friends. Be possessive and jealous about him linked to everything you can possibly think of. Stop him from tweeting, facebooking. If he doesn’t, keep nagging him till he is tired of you. If he does stop it, it’s a sign that he will soon miss his friends and his social networks and blame you and finally dump you.

2)      Show no interest in his talks- Well men love women who would sit, listen to all his bragging and his life nonsense and nod her head like a dog. Start bringing random topics in between his serious conversations. Like when he is telling you how his day was, start telling him why you love your blue nail polish. Almost 80% of divorces happen because there is no proper communication between the spouses. So it effectively works here too. Better still stop asking him anything.

3)      Make fun of his dreams and Capability- Nothing like a spit on ones self pride and self esteem. If he aspires to buy himself a ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM by the time he is 35, laugh loudly and tell him how naive he is and how you can bet your life he wont be able to. Tell him how his other friends are so much better than him and that his vision of life is medieval.  Blame him for his stagnant position on the ladder to success.

4)      Compare him to your ex- Continuously poke him with statements about your ex. How you wish he and you had worked out and how happy you would have been. Tell him how your ex’s stubble felt on your cheeks and how much better that felt when compared to his. Saying all this in an innocent manner really confuses the man who dumps you eventually because again his possessiveness and self esteem could not stand your bullshit.

5)      Flirt with his friends- This is one of my favorites. When he takes you out to meet his friends or whenever there is any situation where you have the presence of his closest friends, show the flirt in you. Flutter some eyelashes evidently to his friend. For this purpose I suggest you choose the guy your boyfriend admits is the most attractive. Coyly smile, play with your hair, pout your lips, laugh at all the lame jokes his friend makes. Make your flirting evident. Ones the boygang has caught hold of your boyfriend alone, there will be a huge discussion and comments on how flirty you are. No guy wants a woman who flirts with anyone and especially his friends. Continue this flirting even after being warned. Act innocent. He will dump you soon!!

P.S-This is just an individual opinion. Don’t bite me if you got insulted or offended (so immature that will be. Pfft!). Also the above mentioned ways will not only drive your boyfriend away but also will take away the chances of friendship or WE-WILL-BE-IN TOUCH relation. Don’t blame me later. I warned you.

P.S.S- This opinion should not be inferred in such a way as to be thought that I have done this with someone or I intend to do it. I certainly don’t!! 

Photo Courtesy- Google Images. Too lazy to go find the real source! No infringement intended. Also the picture shows a girl dumping a guy. Well that's all i could get!

*Laughs like a Hyena*

45 comments:

  1. Ha ha! I can bet that all the 5 points will be SUPER-effective! ... nothing works better!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol.. that was terrific. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. @raghu- heh
    @Xeno- Lol...i too bet nothing disgusts men more. Btw i m frm mobile. Cannot comment on ur discuz thing. So i will tomorrow. Going through face f life called exam
    @Harish- heh thnx for reading!

    I SHALL COMMENT ON ALL THE POSTS I HAVENT BY TMRW.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Try multiple dating n make sure ur bitter half knows bout it too..it really works!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. God...I don't believe this..Girl you are awesome.I wish I had met you earlier..Sigh!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Blue Lotus- Thanks a ton for reading and moreover for commenting.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @R-A-J- well thts a very good idea..but dont you think it will just make the boyfriend really aggressive? The whole point is to make him leave you without much fuss or scandelous or murderous attitude...lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. Points well put together ! Im sure it will be useful to someone who reads it..or even it could make some realize why they lost their boyfriend...helps to search themselves, u see ! LOL ! Well done !

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Anita- Hah true! Doin any of these even innocently does lead to being dumped. The man motive is to make your guy feel ur innocent n not actually playing the game.

    @Arun Ajay Shankar- Thankyou Bhaiyyaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  10. That was awesome!! guys love their space and stepping into their space is the ultimate thing to do!! however i would like to add one of the most oppressive things to do if u want your guy to dump u:

    Take him shopping everyday!!! spend his money !! :P quick result :P

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hahahahha...Good one! Actually a good idea!

    ReplyDelete
  12. endammoooo.... super ideas....

    will this work the other way round too??? when a guy wanna dump a gal?? :D ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. @Anoop- Most probably it will!! But use it at your own discretion! :p

    ReplyDelete
  14. Marvelous dumping ideas..And your write-up as usual awesome :D ..You know i wished the dumping ideas would go on and on after i started reading this :P :D ..

    And i laugh every time like a hyena only :P

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Alcina- Heheee you write about everlasting love and i write bout breaking it into thousand lil pieces.. Kinky!!!

    Thnx yet again for commenting! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nice ideas...wish i was more tech savvy ten years back, its too late now:( So, how about writing a post on 5 ways to dump a husband?;) LOL!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. first thing first : AWESOME blog template! mine used be similar when i had just started blogging :)
    And hey some amazing tricks you've shared.. i'm gonna put em to use :P

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tht wud surely wrk... all gals in dire need of dumping der Bfs wud give u blessings for this.
    Gud one.

    ReplyDelete
  19. @Cloud Nine- Hah for that i should be married and i don't see that happening for atleast 4 yrs down the line. :P.How about you write it. Share the weakness!:D

    @Neeha- Glad to know that :D

    @Defiant Princess- Warning has been given, so use at your own guard :P. I am sure you dont have to. Btw thnkyou for reading!

    @Angie- I might be one heavily blessed person alive then. Thanks for commenting :)

    @Jaai Vipra- Thanks for reading!

    ReplyDelete
  20. super TO-THE point.MALE APPROVED ;)
    sexy writting

    ReplyDelete
  21. I doubt ur P.S.S.
    Dangerous stuff man!! (Gasping for breath)
    (followed by instant love wid the blog)

    aJ

    ReplyDelete
  22. @Maniac.hunter- Hah much obliged milord!!Thanks for reading!!

    @Aakash- Loool...you are a man of words! finally did check the blog out!! See it wasn't so bad..was it? :) Thankyou!

    ReplyDelete
  23. :) I am wondering how did the idea for this particular topic come to you?

    hehe....

    Cheers
    Always Happy

    ReplyDelete
  24. @ Red handed: @Alcina- Heheee you write about everlasting love and i write bout breaking it into thousand lil pieces.. Thts so trueeee...:D ROFL

    ReplyDelete
  25. @Always- Why do you think i named myself AN UGLY HEAD :P

    @Raghu- :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. You think way ahead, friend. Our girls, I think, are experts in this art of dumping lovers.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The blog is very good!
    Congratulations!
    http://nelsonsouzza.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. HAHAHHAAHAHA
    This is the the mother of all epicness!
    Dirty secret - I love dumping. Do I sound shallow? :s

    But anyway. Great read! :D

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hey! I mentioned you here!
    http://bit.ly/eHzzHC

    ReplyDelete
  30. @Anulal- i dont think thats a bad thing you know, thinking way ahead. Thanks for reading :D

    @Nel- hey thankyou so much!

    @Peaches- pwahahah! Gud to knw that this post did hit you brains in the right way. Thankyou for reading and commenting!!

    @Xeno- man oh man! How can i thankyou enuff. I did read it but i cant comment now. I am from my mobile and discuss isnt supported thr. I have these law exams goin on..and i will surely comment as soon as get back frm the exam tmrw.

    ReplyDelete
  31. LOL! OMG! what kinda lessons are u giving on ur blog? I m sure, committed guys out there will block ur site on their GFs PC! but the points are indeed awesome ones...will definitely use them if and when required :P
    and btw, I liked ur blog's theme..following u ( u c m highly impressed by such 'saintly' teachings! :D

    sarah

    ReplyDelete
  32. @lols smart one!!! follwing u now :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Too good !!! You've hit the nail on the head.. of boyfriends !! :D

    ReplyDelete
  34. @Binu Thomas- Awww thankyou sire!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hey Nice tricks.. just to show disinterest in BF through acts rather words.. to my knowledge most of them work...

    ReplyDelete
  36. Nice one. :) First time here and I think I'll definitely be back for more.

    ReplyDelete
  37. girl....u are awesome...nice post!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. @Bharathi-Thankyou :D
    @Bessy- You are welcome anytime!
    @Aditya- HEHEH thankyou!

    ReplyDelete
  39. @Baharathi- thankyou! :)
    @Bessy- welcome anytime!
    @Aditya- Lol thnkyou!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Ha ha, that's being such a bitch, such a nice, freaking one. =))

    ReplyDelete
  41. LOL....

    Not even one decent STRAIGHT FORWARDS Idea of dumping someone, Is that the non confrontist mindset at work?

    Or is dumping too a game... Just like stumping , pumping, humping...

    ReplyDelete

Spit It Out I Say !!!