Friday, 8 July 2011

WHAT-THE-FUCK


 So I have been thinking a lot. I mean when your life is going nowhere and your college life is horrendously epic, you are left with nothing else to do than think. So I was thinking about some moments in my life which have made me actually go WHAT- THE-FUCK. Yes!! I mean you use the F word a hell lot these days, but some moments flash up and these miraculous three words just drive past your eyes in Brick bold letters. I remember a chosen few of those, and whether you like it or not, I am going to feed those to you (though I know the ultimate hammer whether to close this tab or just act like you read it and comment ‘NICE! HAHA’ is in your hands)

1WTF-The chubby school kid (Me), who always gets mysteriously sick during morning assembly on Monday, shows her puppy face this time too to the teacher, who falls for her MY-TUMMY-HURTS drama and allows her to go to class and relax. Thinking of the chocolates in her bag which she can now relish alone, the chubby kid runs to the class and opens the door. Our chubby kid stops, her jaw drops and she freezes. Since that day on our chubby kid has always attended morning assemblies. She had witnessed the first LIVE kiss of her life, between TWO GIRLS.

2WTF-The day the chubby kid’s Mommy, returned with a baby in her hands. On demanding for an answer regarding the whereabouts of the new kid in the house, the answer made the chubby kid confused and nauseous. The baby was in the tummy of her Mother for 9 mths and she never knew. This is the problem of having a mother who is naturally plum or maybe it’s the fault of the chubby kid, who was as dumb as a donkey.

3WTF- The chubby kid grew up hating her Grandfather. She hated the way he made the otherwise happy family chaotic. She hated the way he loved her brother more and how he made her Grandmom cry. Her existence was acknowledged only when she won singing competitions. She secretly cursed him sometimes. She wanted him to die. One day he passed away without the presence of his children and had just his wife near him. She had detested him, but she cried. She found out that she never actually hated him but just craved for his importance. She has never cried the way she did that day.

4WTF- The kid was no more a kid and joined college, far far away from home. A tomboy that she is, she didn’t believe in love or the whole heavenly feeling they declare it to be. She meets someone and she doesn’t try to define it because it baffles her. All she knows is she gets a tickling feeling when he is around and she blushes when he looks. She looks at the mirror these days. He got a haircut in her presence and the barber was brutal with his hair. Cut is real close to the scalp and he definitely looked like a monkey. But gosh why did he still look so frigging adorable to her as he waited for her verdict, biting his lips. She totally went WHAT- THE-FUCK.

5WTF- The chubby kid was always bullied at school. The girls from senior classes would pull her cheeks and her classmates used to call her ‘CAT’ because of her weirdly green eyes. For some reason the chubby kid, took it to heart every time they called her that and would go home weeping. Her parents who were heartbroken to see there kid crying everyday, took her to the doctor and enquired whether there is any treatment to change the colour of the eye. It was a WTF moment for the doctor and we were literally kicked out of the clinic.

6WTF- Happened today when the grown up chubby kid’s younger brother, who has just touched 14yrs of age, liked a facebook page which goes by the name ‘TRUE LOVE’. What torments her is not that her brother is ‘liking’ such pages, but the fact that he is studying in an All Boys School, and then liking this page.

PS- My roommate for four years just left hostel. So we went all crazy and dipped our   hands in UJALA and painted (read ruined) the white walls. Here is an image. The one in blue is me (like that helps :P)


PSS- a) Priyanka tagged me in on of her EPIC posts. The next post will be regarding that. Thank you my girl!

        b) I am pissed off bigtime! I am unhappy with myself. I made someone who really adores me, question  his trust and belief in me, and now I feel lonely and dumb.
        
        c)  I have lost it! So here is another image for you. Hangover 3


28 comments:

  1. u have green eyes! wow!! and yes the pic in blue helps to know that you aren't that chubby now :P
    as for the P.S , go and talk it out , maybe give him a bigggg hugg :)

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  2. hahaha...

    u hav been makin a 'list' of a lot of things these days..... huh..... :)

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  3. @Maithili- Yes weird eyes! U see them everytime you open this page :P. Thankyou soo much for being the first to read!

    @Anoop- Heh yes! I have nothing better to do :P. Thanks!

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  4. With the first point in view, I think that this chubby girl has something really, really WTF-ish going on in the mind when she details us about the last point. :D

    OMG, this was good :D

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  5. @ Red, 1)First live kiss - how many more have you witnessed?:P 4) AWWWWW:D <3 5) Green eyes and you cried o_O Can we please exchange eyes? Like now?:P 6) ROTFLMAO, give him a break re, poor guy:P Now I know what I sound like to my brother:D
    Is Amu or Piyu you?:P And I have half a mind to name you Komalavalli or something, just to NOT call you Red:D

    P.S: Most welcome(for the tag..)

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  6. @Blasphemous Aesthete- I really have DOSTANA running in my head! :D Thankyou so much for reading :D

    @Priyanka-HeH maybe a couple more live kisses :P. I would have readily exchanged if i cud :(...and btw AMU or PIYU is not my name. My name is beautifully covered up by my head.Piyu is the white chicks pet name and Amu is the other roomies :P. Pls do not call me KOMALLAVALLI! I will end up singing the malayalam song the whole day!

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  7. Still LMAO!!! Hahaha! Another fun post from you girl. And lucky to have green eyes, you know? I always fume with jealousy when i see girls with green eyes:P Who is the poor guy with the lousy haircut anyway? Seems chubby girl goes gagaga over him! And loved the art work- who is gonna repaint your room?LOL!!!

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  8. OMG at WTF #1! Are you sure both were girls! :P WTF #5 is the most hilarious of all. :D

    You should this blog http://pistaye.wordpress.com/ with a similar writing style. You'd like it.

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  9. So jealous at #1. roflmao at #2. :'( at #3. :) at #4. :( at #5. :O at #6.

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  10. This such a WTF-able post. My sympathies with the chubby girl.

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  11. thanks for the idea...now i'm thinking of ruining my hostel room's white as chalk walls when final year winds up!! *EXCITED ALREADY* :D:D
    And...nice post :D

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  12. Wow Red, green eyes, wow...babes u rock!!

    Loved the post..loved the 'wtf' in hindi at the beginning...wtf 3 & 4 were really touching.. no 6 was hilarious :D

    Am sure u'll be in that pangs of missin ppl n stuff cos of college gettin over :)

    Even though my love advice mostly leads to suicide, I seriously think u gotta get back to tht dude, irrespective of his haircut :)

    Hey dnt feel so low yaar.. whnvr I feel low, I call up Vodaphone customer care n yell at them fr bad reception (yes, I'm sadist but it makes me feel better n yes, I don't have a Vodaphone connection, I use Airtel)

    Cheer up, Red :)

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  13. @Cloud Nine-The lousy guy plays a not so lousy role in the chubby kids life :P Nd they dont knw that we ruined the wall. We b soooo dead :P

    @Ajay-Yes they were girls. I studied in an ALL GIRLS school:P. I will definitely check the blog out :D

    @The Lover- Thankyou truck loads!

    @Prateek- Hah thankyou for reading :D

    @Indumathy Sukanya-Please make sure that its a day before you leave hostel.I have 9 mths more to stay :P.

    @R-A-J- Heh tht hindi thing was done in Microsoft Paint :D. Bored i was! I have 9 more mths left in college, so the missing ritual can wait :P. About the guy, his haircut is my last concern and i dont need to get him back :D
    Hahaha same pinch! Airtel rocks! Being sadist is a good thing sir!Thankyou for reading nd for the lovely comment :)

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  14. Truly WTF! :D Nine months left here too, for the college to end and I have no idea what I am doing! I can totally relate to your what-the-fuck moments! Two Kissing Girls! *HAHAHA* Ahem, you must have been in shock, how old were you? :P :P And the guy who looked like a *monkey* when he cropped his hair...makes you go all fluttery? Awwwww to that! :D :D Hilarious! :D :D

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  15. Two girls kiss?! Niiice :D
    Dude, I'd kill for green eyes, I mean seriously! Green eyes are awesome.

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  16. @MSM- Wich College are you btw?Abou the kissing thing, i was maybe in 5th standard :D.Thankyou!

    @Anish- Hehe thankyou!

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  17. Woah..!!!! tht was really WTF..!!!

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  18. Lol, that was hilarious....WTF1 seems to have got the most attention :D

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  19. Red handed was caught blue handed?

    I'm amazed at how today's generation is so comfortable with saying WTF, like it were OMG. And I wonder if they'd be saying it so spontaneously in front of their kids.

    I'm growing old, I guess. But...WTF, it was a great read! ;-)

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  20. hahahaha

    what a list

    and yes boys prefer chubby girls ;)

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  21. @Raghu-:D It really was!
    @Vijay Bhaskar-It was the most horrifying too! hankyou!!
    @Phatichar-I definitely wud not be using the word in front of them and they in front of me. But its obvious we wud be using it otherwise :D. Thankyou so much!

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  22. how awesome does wtf look in devnagri! :D
    bwahaha there's lotsa uh, gay-ness in your wtfs...!
    aahh...you're the blue one?! that's totally prettier than the white one...i can tell :-P :-D

    cats rock, dont they!? :D

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  23. Dude..green eyes..certainly rare to find..by the way awesome WTF moments..Pity u for some of them girl..and envy u for some..especially that live kiss...;)

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  24. @Mugdha- The blue one got a pretty back? :P thankyou!! Yeh i have come across a lot of gayism..tch tch!I hate cats btw ":P

    @Nirvaan- Hahaha thankyou sire!!

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  25. I like your sense of humor!! :D
    Well written piece.

    Loved 6WTF best :D

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  26. Wooohooo... that was one hell of a funny thing... I had a terrible day at college... and my roomies freaked looking at me stare at a computer screen and laugh :) The brother part was real funny... n even the going to doctor one. :)

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  27. It's great stuff. every lines about that articles are simple and perfect one. I inspire your articles.

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  28. Only the 1st and the 4th one WTF moments literally! And 6th one too! I didn't know Indians could be so open :P

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