A- Do you have a guy as your friend?
B- Do you have a boyfriend?
C- If the answer for either A or B is a ‘YES’, then do you stay with your Mom?
If the answer for Question C is a ‘Yes’ too, then kindly keep a check on your phone. Don’t give me the excuse that your Mother will never infringe your privacy or encroach upon your personal space. If she is a mother and you happen to be her unmarried daughter, she WILL CHECK YOUR INBOX, either today or tomorrow. To spice it up a bit more, things become easier for your Mother, if you have a little Mr Spy as your brother.
I am states away from Home, but vacations come now and then. Two years back I had decided not to spend my vacations interning and went home. Since I had no secrets and no boyfriend then, there was no reason for me to be that possessive about my mobile. I left it at home and went to meet my friends. On returning, I went straight to my room and switched on the TV, while my brother was kept busy by his pathetic video-games. My mother who was dutifully folding clothes in the other room started talking to me in a high pitched voice. The conversation went something like this-
Amma- You know you should never lie to your Amma.
Me- Eh? What? What is for dinner today?
Amma- Always food food. I said never lie to your Amma.
Me- Yeh ok! I feel like having Maggi
Amma- The truth comes out sooner or later.
Me- Yeh ok! Did you see Dolly Bindra on Big Boss? Such a Behenjee
Amma- You should never lie to your Amma.
Me- Ok! This is the third time you are saying this!
Amma- Don’t lie to your Amma.
Me- What? Varun do you have any idea what Amma is talking about?
(VARUN= Little brother Mr spy)
Mr Spy- No! I know nothing.
Amma- Never lie to your Amma.
Me- Amma stop it okie. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Amma- You don’t? Stop hiding.
Me- What is happening here? Hiding? Me? What?
Mr Spy- Oh! I just remembered. When you had gone out, your phone vibrated. I saw that you got a message from your friend. I thought he has something important to say, which is very urgent. So I opened it and gave it to Amma.
Me- First of all I have told you to NEVER EVER touch my phone. Secondly, what was the message?
Amma- A guy sent you a message begging you to send a photo of yours in a Saree to him. Why does he want a photo of yours? Why in Saree he wants to see you? Who is he?
I somehow manage to take my phone and read the message. The message was from my Bestfriend who happens to be a guy and the message went something like this-
“HAHAHA..Poor you. Why don’t you wear a Saree and scare everyone? Send me a photo of it too if you do, so that I can enjoy the ghastly beauty.”
Everything came back to me. I remember having a conversation with him about being forced to attend a marriage function of some far off relative. I had told him that I don’t have anything good to wear for the occasion, and this message by him was a reply to the fuss I was making.
I went to Amma and tried to make her understand the real situation but she still stuck to her “Ok! Hmmm! Never lie to your Amma and never let a guy friend get close to you”
Now she always suspects me and I always keep my phone under my watchful eyes whenever I am home. A father never interferes unless the mother approaches him with the petition.
Three more months left for my next visit home.
P.S- Stumbled upon this photo on a friend’s Facebook Wall.
An Important notice to all those residing in and around Cochin- This is big news for all the Party Animals. The Electronic God of India DJ VACHAN would be playing at RAMADA RESORTS a.k.a CLUB QUBE this Saturday from 9pm till late. Catch you all RED HANDED there. For more details check out the Facebook Page.CLICK HERE