Sunday, 23 October 2011

YO MOMMA SO.........!!!



So, do not mistake me when I say this but I think my mother has had it easy when it comes to being lucky. You know those kinds of people, who have been provided with Escalators by the Lady luck herself, while the underprivileged sweat as they climb barefoot? My Mother belongs to that category and me to the latter one. 

My Mother is an Income Tax officer who gets to supervise Raids. About the Income Tax thing, she swore on her sweet Father i.e. my maternal Grandfather that she was blank during the selection exam and resorted to INKY PINKY PONKY method. She was the first to get selected also. Why do I have to slog my ass out to get something I really want?!

I still remember how she and her office Fraands would sit at office and practise making SOFT TOYS. Exactly!! They would buy button eyes, cheap faux fur, sponge and would sit in the cabin together and make Monkeys or Rabbits during office hours. How do I know this? That is because as a child I was taken to her office and was allowed to waste papers by typing alphabets using the office Typewriter. 

Some weeks back she called me during one of her Raids. I guess she was raiding the Bungalow of the owner of a Pan Masala company. The Manikchand and Rajnigandha kinds, you get the idea. The conversation went something like this.

Meri Mother- I am at Gwalior right now.
Me- How is the raid going?
Meri Mother- Oh God! You know Beta, they have a lift inside their house. When I came, I was told that the owner and his Mrs were working out in their personal gym.
Me- Oh But how was the raid?
Meri Mother- You should see the tiles! My colleague Usha said that it is imported from Italy or something. Which is that place where they keep dead people under sand?
Me- Did you mean Egypt by any chance?
Meri Mother- Ah yes! Such costly tiles no? They have seven servants and they all look so clean! Our Asha bai should learn from them. I don’t think his Mrs allows them weekend off.
Me- Amma! Tell me about the raid.
Meri Mother- I am telling you no? You should have seen the cupboard of the Mrs! More than thousand sarees and all very costly! And the kitchen is so big! You and Varun can play football in there.
Me- Amma!!!
Meri Mother- We need to renovate our home. Let me call your father now.
Me- Amma atleast tell me what you guys found!
Meri Mother- Oh the men whom I supervised, found 20 guns from the basement. No licence you know. Big guns! Like we see in the movies!! And 73 lakhs of unappropriated money. Ok Beta, let me call your Dad. The kitchen needs a makeover too.

Yesterday she had to raid an office, and she was totally blank as to what to check and what not to. All the office documents were gibberish for her. Thank God she has some sensible subordinates and male colleagues. She is so innocent, that she won’t even take bribes. What waste! Also if the female in the house she raids starts crying, my Mother would join her in the weeping spree. 

I am not saying that she does not deserve any of this. She had her share of hard times too (like studying for Board exams in school). It’s just that I am jealous! She is fair and beautiful with curly hair while I am an Ugly duckling with pee coloured eyes. Life is grossly unfair!

P.S- My new roommate's nickname is Harni, but she hears me out even when I call her Horny :D (I already tweeted this)
P.P.S- Wasn’t my last post good enough? Only 32 people read it. Show me some love.
P.P.P.S- I never show my mother what I write. She has the habit of taking it to office and forcing her fraands to read.  But I can kill you or anyone for her!




60 comments:

  1. Last post was good,wonder people are busy with diwali...my page views were half of the ususal too...

    Mums are so cute and innocent....awww IT officers are bloody rich...but if only they take bribe....

    A law degree should not be easy...you have a lot to see in the courtroom... :-P this is the beginning....

    Exactly why everyone is an engineer these days...:-) easy breazy course....

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  2. Hahhaha your amma is so cute... Ohh I'm sure she'd be telling your dad about the makeover soon.. I fell in love with her.. A BIG HUG to her.. :D

    I was smiling throughout the post...BIG GUNs and 73 lakhs unappropriated money.. God I wish I had that...the money (before there is a raid in my house) :P ... I could buy soo many things *dreamsss* .. ok reality... aheem pee colored eyes, you are crazy women.. heheh :P

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  3. :D Dude, wth? Say that you didn't mean the 'pee colored eyes' bit, I'd kill for eyes like those..

    And your Mom sounds so sweet unlike mine who'd have gone on a rageful rant about those guns:P

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  4. interesting post Red. and harni??? its like her parents meant for her to be mocked.

    i hope one of aunty's fraands chances upon ur blog, and shows it to aunty. she will recognize her daughter's eyes :)

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  5. Horny? Hahaha. :D Knew a girl called Kaamini. We troubled her enough in a you know how way. :D
    And this was hilaaaaarious otherwise :D

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  6. Hahahaha! Moms! I bet my mom would do the same thing. :P Even if she were to find Osama Bin Laden in one of the rooms, she would probably go on and on about the various sarees she found in the cupboard. :D

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  7. HAHA indeed your mom was quite lucky! But she is sooo cute ! N what's with you and your eyes? I mean they are soo different and beautiful! I would have loved that uniqueness!

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  8. You know people would kill to have eyes like yours? :P Everyone around me is wearing colored contacts just so they can avoid having boring black eyes and here you are... calling them pee colored eyes.. What a comparison! crazy woman!
    And your mom sounds so cute!!! haha.. thinking of a makeover for the kitchen during a raid!

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  9. horny!!! hhahah ROFL your mom is having such an interesting life :D wow :D

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  10. I like it when my mum or anybody's mum for that matter is all cute and innocent. I just don't like the angry streaks in them.
    Bah, IT raids and the money! *drools*

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  11. haha, you are really lucky to have interesting characters like your mother and harni in your life :D

    And don't worry about less number of comments, there are people like me who don't want to comment when they think the number of comments on some post has exceeded some threshold :)

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  12. blehehehehehe..
    Mommas rule..!!! Dont they..:D :D
    thats the best part about them..loll..in the most weird situation they will still think of their beloved home and ways to make it better :p
    super nice..
    I love thy amma..:-):-):-):-)

    hmm..i guess i dont need to say anything about my opinion on your eyes..everyone else has voiced my thoughts..

    So i will do this..

    ~shaking you by your shoulder..and saying
    HAVE YOU LOST IT MOLAAAYY ????! :O :O :O *


    ohhh and that pic is so stupidly cute..isnt it a pokemon..??!

    Ok..i will stop before my mental state is proven to be of a silly school kid :D :D :D

    thats all i have got to say..
    Heeeheee
    cheers !

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  13. heheheh my dad is in income tax too so i kind of know how it all goes, even i used to go and cry in my dad s ofc for a new bat, book while he ll be in a meeting ;) and the typewriter thing. BINGO!

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  14. hahahahahaha!! Your mom is so cool. :P

    In my house we all suck with luck :P Inky pinky ponky will fail me inevitably :P

    Awesome post.

    P.s I agree with Peevee. Will let the comment on the eyes pass. :\

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  15. whatcha saying girl? I LOVE pee coloured eyes! and seems like I'd love your mom a lot too, she seems so innocent. God bless her!

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  16. Ha ha, totally hilarious this was. And ONLY 32 people? Madam, there are bloggers jinko itne bhi nahin milte hain, baksh karo. :p

    By the way, my grandfather was an income tax officer, and as I am told, that he was a strict, disciplined, stern and an honest officer. Reminded me of him. =)

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  17. :) Nice! Mom's are interesting aren't they? Wow.. so you can discuss about cool stuff like hidden guns and overflowing cupboards.. :P

    DON'T talk about luck girl. So much shit keeps happening.. (http://life-in-a-jiffy.blogspot.com/2011/06/comedy-affair.html) might just make you feel better :)

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  18. I to do did the typy typy thingy and rounds with peon-uncle when I went to mum's oppice....I stopped going after one day she made me strut around with my 10 board marks card like I was some show thang!!! And my ugly duckling Red, you'll soon become a beautiful swan who will fly away to gelf with a lungi-man...no worry you takings...I read the last post, but my fingers were swollen to thrice their size I could hardly type...Mother Indias' ki jai :D

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  19. Your Mommy sounds so cute...so do you, with that adorable jealous tone ;) :D

    And why are you calling your eyes *pee-colored* for Heaven's Sake!!! They are beautiful - hazel honey colored! :D :D

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  20. Haha...aunty is so sweet and yeah lucky too as the Inky Pinky Ponky thing worked for her. Wow!!

    Horny? hahhahaha...You are so funny, Red! :D

    And ma'am, I totally agree with Chandana. You have got amazingly beautiful eyes. So don't you dare say anything about them. *envious*

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  21. I wud have loved to become an IT officer. Just that I din know wat to study and where to apply..;-)

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  22. Some people are just blessed my dear!! They just are.. You can't do anything about it!!

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  23. i've run out of funny or atrocious stuff to say in my comments...so let me keep it short..i liked this post...the last post was a bit dark...but this one made me smile again..:-)

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  24. @TheBluntBlogger- Engineer nahi karna babare!!!!! I cannot tolerate PCM!!!!
    @PeeVee- Innocence is an understatement. She is between innocence n being naive. Cute she is
    @Kalpak- They might b busy making soft toys, to get some time to blog n shit. :D
    @Crystal- U know when the movie KAMINEY released, my frnd pronounced it as KAMINI.
    @Loony- hehe true dat! Moms are angels !! osama Bin laden? hehehehehehehe
    @Maithili- then lets exchange..wat say :D
    @Girl At First Avenue- i have hated them since my chidhood. so it has become psychological no.
    @Rajalakshmi- Welcome to my blog...thanks a lot for commenting
    @Meher-Money only if u take bribes..otherwise normal income but lotss f benefits!
    @technofirt- 32 is less...it did not even cross the threshold :(
    @meoww- hehehehe it is a pokemon..PSYDUCK! Me love him. he is always so confused :D. Your comment is always so cute! Makes me smile my brightest smile
    @maniac.hunter- re wah! BINGO BINGO then. I miss typewriters!!
    @Srinidhi- even i suck at the inky pinky ponky thing :( ALWAYS!!!
    @br|sh- Heheh yeh she is innocent...way tooo!
    @Arjit- Apart from the HONESTY part...my mother is totally oposite to ur Grandfathers prof attributes :P
    @Sameera- I already read n commented int hat. It is such a cute one! Made me smile.
    @The Dragon in the skin of a goat- WAAAAAAT happened to ur fingers babes? Hope u fine now
    @MSM- Jealousy makes me sound cute? Areh waaaaah! :D HUGS!!!
    @Vinati- INKY PINKY PONKY alwaysssssss works for her. Never for me. why why why!!!
    @Kanthu- Google kab kaan aayega?! But as long as u r content n happy with wht u r doing, forget IT
    @The life-a-holic- so trueee!
    @Rahul- Hehehhe simple yet sweet. Thanks boss!

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  25. Some people are just blessed. No one can do anything about it :)

    Why do you have 'something I recommend you not to read' in the subtitle of the blog? :D

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  26. Pardon the delayed comment, was away all weekend. Firstly your Amma is so cool that she doesn't seem to take the job stress at all.

    What wouldn't we do for our mothers? I reckon your eyes are equally unique if not more.

    Don't worry about comments Missy, so what if only 30 odd people commented, there must be dozens of others who've read the post and were probably too fascinated by it to put their fingers on the keyboard to comment on it. Loosen up a bit, you write well and that's what counts ultimately.

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  27. i absolutely love everything you write, lol...

    you're so funny, and it's SO true what you say!

    --JD

    www.conflarity.blogspot.com

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  28. hahahahhaha your mother sounds to be SUper Fun! MashALLAH..and yes we love you and I did read your Last post too..just couldnt comment..pardon me for that:P

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  29. I somehow laughed throughout the conversation part. Hahahaha.. Mom's are just mom's aren't they? They're particular about how their house looks, even mine. It's good that despite being an income tax officer, she doesn't take bribe. *salutes*. everyone is beautiful in their way, feel beautiful and the pee eye shall be sparkling!

    i'm a new follower of your blog, i like the way you write. do head on to my blog sometime when you're free. Feedback and comments are most welcomed! Thank you. I'll tune in :)

    http://thevaguelife.blogspot.com/

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  30. Your mom is cute and made this post funny!
    Who the sh** is having so many lacks and guns?
    And I'm off to your previous post :)
    BTW, how is the kitchen makeover going?

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  31. haha thats so funny :D How can a large percentage of Moms be so innocent and cute ? There is something odd with the previous generation I guess :D

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  32. My cousin is also in raid dept. Each time he raids some company, he brings a Old Monk rum and we celebrate the Old Monk from raid. :D

    Here is a conversation b/w you and your room partner.
    Red - Hey horny. How are you?
    Harni - Horny.
    Red - But that is your name no?
    *Runs*

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  33. Your Mum's an IT officer?? God forbid, if I come across such a 'raiding' scenario... I'll drop you a mail!! Who knows, you might just help me out!! :P

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  34. Completely unexpected post, loved it. Nice ode to your mom. You should be proud of her. And heres wishing you a life that gets easier and you find your way through. Best wishes for your exams too. Have they finished?

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  35. I just couldn't stop laughing.. :D

    IT OFFICER..WOW I ALWAYS HAVE TOUGH TIME IN STUDYING TAX..PLEASE ASK AUNTY TO GIVE SOME TIPS IN RETAINING THE PROCEDURES N STUFF THEY MAKE ME ALL CRAZY :-/

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  36. sigh!! can we exchange moms? i like your mom. also your eye color...mine is boring black. with black i mean just black!

    so when are we exchanging?

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  37. Hi Red,

    It was hilarious. Mom is someone who are really cute in their speaking and almost everything :) Loved the conversations between you and your mom :) May be makeover will be there when you visit your home next time :)

    Horny :P :P :P I couldn't stop laughing :) :)

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  38. Loved it. Your Mom's so sweet.

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  39. Ah...How i envy your mother:P And poor you...we girls are always unlucky...mothers are always lucky;) And i love that Horny!!!

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  40. WAOWWWW! Your Mum is an Income Tox Officer. Matlab ke scene fit hai. :D
    Yeah i totally agree with you, some people are born with lucky charm sewn to their heart. My mother is one of them too, in fact, the thing i am jealous of that my mother has and i don't is that whatever she chooses or decides is always LIKED and APPRECIATED by everyone. Trust me, even you would love her likes. While i suck at this. :/

    Plus, people notice her when we both are walking together, not me. -____-

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  41. Hahaha..great stuff Red.. wow, ur mom's with the IT dept?.. cool yaar.. so did Mamookutty n Mohan Lal cry n howl whn they were raided? :)

    wow, u hv 32 replies n u're sad?.. I get 10 n I'm the king of the world :)

    As always, lovely read, Red :)

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  42. huh...I was busy fixing my internet..damn..

    This one was good and I would like to inform you that I had read your post in my mobile phone but could not comment because my phone is not a smart phone and its very difficult to comment in that, almost impossible...

    about this post, lovely conversation and I feel very glad by knowing that your mum does not take bribes. You should feel proud about that :) :) :)

    stay connected!!!
    its me!!! sharan :)

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  43. ahehe.. ur mom is cool. and oh, dont get jealous, and stop the self-pity thing...there'll be lots of differences even if shes your mom... youre beautiful on your own =)

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  44. Oh my god! I was laughing all the way through this! Great post.

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  45. I think..you mom is too sweet to be an IT officer...those guns and lacks of rupees...if inappropriate ...someone should be there to kick their asses :P

    Haven't read your last post..shorrie..will be back :)

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  46. @Ajay- heheh i dont know why i wrote tht..but i have grown to like it. Catchy no?
    @Atrocious scribblings- Greedy I am..I apologize :D. Yes i am unique in my own way but sometimes i wish for some f her features :D
    @Jill Dianne, but call me JayDee- heheh cute u r1 Thanks a lot!!!
    @Mishi- heheh I pardon u coz u reas thi too :), Thanks a bunch!
    @KN- They wont even believe tht she is my mum..buhuhuhuuhuh mein marne ja rahee hoon ab..buhuhuhuhuhu
    @Pria- Kitchen makeover done and even the whoel house renovation. She always gets wht she wants :D
    @Nia- Welcome to my poor little blog and thankyou soo much for following, i shall be checking out ur blog NOW!!!
    @Anita Jeyan Sandeep- I love ur full name..class!! Btw yes...mums r just toooo cute!
    @Prateek- gahahahaha EPIC CONVO MAN!!!!!! The worst is she doesnt get it!!!!!! She continues listening to me!
    @Binu Thomas- just start crying..man tears will also work on breaking her down :D
    @Mayank- Oh yes icould do with a life little more easier..and exam sucked till now.One more left. Thanks a bunch man!
    @The Blunt Blogger0 love u for tht!
    @MSM- hehehehehe
    @Sunakshi-My best friend clarifies my mothers doubt about income tax. she is clueless!
    @Hijibijbij- heheheh anytime! But make it painless :P
    @Ravishankar- eheheh thanks ya! The makeover is already done.she forced my Dad into renovating our house :P
    @Sunita- Thanksyou :)
    @CloudNine- your son wud b using tht statement now. Or soon he might write a post like this!:D
    @R-A-J- They have made me greedy..hehehe! She goes to only such pan asala or gold companies..no mohanlal mannooty. i wish she does :D
    @sharanjayendra- at;east u read no...I am soo happy. Honoured!!
    @Raghu- eheh thankyou!!
    @Kharren- I am beautiful tht wht my parents say and my beau..but still, they can b termed as blind :D
    @Sunil Goswami- welcome!LOOOOOOOOng time! Thanks!
    @Kunal- No problemo! She cant kickass. She is toooo innocrnt like u said. Cute she is!

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  47. Some people have it easy, as you very well know. If I were to put this question forward to my father, he would reply saying, "It's about being the medium and letting your destiny unfold by itself"

    That is my response, as preachy as it may sound. :D

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  48. Some names are just so funny :)

    A very Happy Diwali to you!

    May luck shine upon you like it did on your mum :D

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  49. Last post was awesome. Just as this post is. All your posts are utterly awesome. Jeeeeez. :)

    I LOVE <3

    Your eyes are gorgeous.

    Your mom is so cool. She can raid offices? How cool is that.

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  50. Aren't moms just adorable! Miss my mom so much after reading this. :(

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  51. hey,
    here for the 1st time, traced you from crystals blog.
    i connected with whatever you have written about your mother, i can imagine..!
    and i know how it feels when your parents generation got everything served down in a platter and look at the world today i have never visited a park instead it is more specifically replaced by gyms and extra classes..! working very hard to acheive what is very little..!
    lollz at the HORNY part..! :P
    take care
    and HAPPY DIWALI
    il visit soon again..!
    p.s--following you now..!

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  52. @ROSE- I too want to be the medium!! :(
    @Philo- I want it to shine on me NOW!!!!
    @Sonshu- hehehe thanks babes. U have a great blog :)
    @Ria- Arent u going home soon ? HUGS!
    @Suvaiba- Hey hey hey, welcome!!!Thanks a lot for finding this blog decent enuff to be followed. I am going to check u out..i meant the BLOG now :D

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  53. hooohahahahahaaaaa...ur mum is sooooooooo cute!! i'm in love with her <3
    but gal wassup with "pee coloured" eyes??? I, infact most gals would kill for such bful eyes!!
    cute post...loved it :))

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  54. AWwww..your mom is so cute..mothers are always cool ;)

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  55. Hahahahahaaa. Even my mom is damn naive and cute. Even dumb sometimes. :P But I love her like crazy.
    Ooooh, raids :D Sound so exciting no?
    32 toh read na, be happy. :P Yaha toh no one reads only *wipes a stray tear*
    Pee coloured eyes or pea coloured eyes?
    Either way,I'm jealous :|

    Take care Red :D
    xx

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  56. putting it in the internet laughter :
    LOL for Herni :P Hahaha!
    and ROFL for your mom's innocence :)
    You cant separate a woman from her basic habits like comparing the maids/ the kitchen 7 the wardrobe most essentially!
    And weeping.. she's so kind hearted no :P
    LOL.
    this post was really fun to read!
    :)

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  57. My mom she is the best .. and yeah I have had some fun moments when she came ot UK , for the first time .. since she has always lived in the village so some moments were Precious :)

    Bikram's

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Spit It Out I Say !!!