Sunday, 11 December 2011

MY MOM THE BRUTE....


I am a bad person. I love to see my parents fight or rather I want to see my parents fight. I am saying this because in my 22 yrs of existence I have never seen or let me put this in a better way, ‘witnessed’ a good domestic fight. I am not saying that it doesn’t happen but that even if it does, they never let me catch a glimpse of it. No tears, no raised voice, no angry faces. 

As a child I used to love watching those dramatic Bollywood movies, especially that movie Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum. The way Amitabh Bacchan would say “ Keh diya na… bus keh diya” and Jaya Bacchan would go all quiet and then towards the end of the movie, she finds those missing balls and says “Keh diya na.. bus keh diya”, making Amitabh feel like a little lost puppy in a storm. Since then, I have wanted to see a bit of drama in my family, a sight of my dad and my mother having an exchange of epic dialogues. 

So some days back, my mother had to make her monthly visit to the doctor. Our family is crazy when it comes to personal care and regular visit to the doctor’s clinic. For some reason alien to me, she forced me to tag along and ordered my father to be the driver, which he happily agreed on one condition. The condition being that after dropping us at the clinic, he be allowed to go deal with some official matter and that he would come pick us up, as soon as the appointment with the doctor is done with.

The consultation was over, the medicines were bought and the call was made to ‘THE DAD’. I remember him saying that ‘He is on his way’. I also remember me and my mother standing in the blistering cold for almost half an hour waiting for him. My mother kept quiet while I started pulling my hair, when suddenly she said … 

He thinks he is the busiest man alive

I stopped pulling my hair from its root and directed all my senses to her words. Was this going to be the day I have been waiting for? Will I be able to witness a real life drama? Is this for real?? I am going to support her this time. I will nod my head to every accusation she makes and I will also add some fuel. 

Mom- He thinks it is because of him that the office runs. He thinks that the boss will die without him.
Me- True true!!
Mom- We have been waiting for so long! Who knows maybe he lied to us and is now sitting with his friend Anil, who owns a shop nearby. 
Me- Possible!!
Mom- I hate it when he does this. I also work! I never make him wait! He always does this. Half an hour it has been. I even want to pee!
Me- Tch Tch!! 
Mom- Why cannot he buy a new phone. Still the Nokia basic model. As if he does not have money for something better. One day I will throw the phone into the washing machine. Always out of coverage area.
Me- Yes it is embarrassing!!

After exact 45 minutes, my father appeared before us with a face that had a very boyish grin pasted on it. I was determined to support my mother on her fight for justice. We got into the car and I waited for my mother to give my Dad an earful. Maybe I should record this one. It’s going to be epic!

But you know how sometimes life plays cruel games with you. Like for example, you are finally going to eat the ice-cream you have been craving for and when your tongue is just a second away from the delight waiting on the cone, it somehow slips from your hand and falls on the dirtiest of all grounds. Similarly, life showed its ugly face to me again.

My Dad asked us if we had any trouble waiting for him. I looked at my mother with expectations surpassing all heights. But she ditched me and said something which made me want to open the car door and jump right in front of a truck. She said…

Not at all! Our daughter was creating a fuss though. She is hungry you see”   
   
Why God Why!!!!!!! ‘ is all I thought, as my Dad gave me his blank stare.

P.S- My mother's facebook password is 'ILOVEMYSCOOTY'. Facepalm would be an understatement.

68 comments:

  1. You write the funniest stuff around and yet, you wonder where you get that magical humor from? :P

    Good one once again.

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  2. ha ha ha, i am sorry to see u disappointed.. better luck next time red..

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  3. gud parents are like this..they never fite infront f their kids....

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  4. HAHAHHA poor you. :P You wanted so bad to witness the fight and bhaaaam it didnt happen. :P Don't worry it might just happen someday. :P Sadistic Pleasures much? ;)

    LOL.

    You never fail to crack me up do you girl?

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  5. God, I love the stuff you write!!! Its hilarious!

    But then, you should be happy you don't have all that drama in your life :P

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  6. Girl! you are blessed. you don't really want to see parents fighting. ugliest sight ever in the world.

    i did laugh :-):-)

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  7. ehehe so cute. :P

    I have caused many a fight but it never works between my parents :P Sigh. :P

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  8. ha ha ha :)
    your parents are doing a good job :)

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  9. Hahaha! XD Awww, you. Careful though, someday, years later, you might have a daughter who'll be patiently waiting for you and yours to fight! ;) Love the picture! :D

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  10. bwahahahahhahahahahhaaaaaa....
    YOU....gurllll
    YOU...!!!!!!!!!
    only you can turn something as silly and inconsequential and utter blah into one helluva phantastic post..!!!

    sighhhh....mothers are darlings vaise :P:P:P

    and awwwwww..koi ni..keep trying..thou patience shall be rewarded my louuu...blehehehe..

    and you mom is sooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeee..!!
    i love her password..khi khi khi..

    mastttt post RED..
    mwahhss and hugs..!!

    cheers !!

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  11. HAHAHHAHAHH..you noe wat..my parents are cute..they will argue and then laugh at each other :)

    And your mother is sooooooo cute when she accused at the end of the day..

    LOve the ice cream example..(ITS EPIC)

    and yes yes..Facepalm would be an understatement..

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  12. u wer like dat tiny devil on ur mother's shoulder man.ur parents might be fearing that if they fight in fronta u u might take to overeating out of depression :-P

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  13. Wow.. You have got awesome parents :) Though I pity you for your disappointment :P Nice post :)

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  14. hahaha. Yeah, better luck next time girl ! Ditto with my parents. But at least I had neighbors who fulfilled my wishes :D If I ever find my parents in the "going-to-fight" situation, all my father says is "If you are getting angry then you are getting old." And that's the end of it.

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  15. I ignored the past. The PS took the cake here.
    :D

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  16. I have to agree with Machi...how on earth can you be this funny.... not fair...why didn't we get any of this awesome wit.

    My parents have legendary arguments OK, I've seen Mother India gather courage over the years and talk back and when my motor mouth started working she started picking up dialogues from me as ammunition against Dad!!! I saw a classic drama last week with me and the sis doing a DAD VS MOM show. Mother clearly took the upper hand with some super dialogue delivery and emotional atyachar. The male species has since then been stunned into silence. Jai ho mata, jai ho!!!

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  17. your parents are role model parents :P seriously!! ones who never raise voices at each other!! You are a brat :P :P

    you will die of laughing if I tell you my password (which i will not :P) coz in front of that your mom's password is still acceptable ! See that's why i like your mom :D :D

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  18. :-) u re lucky...my parents..well..it's a different story... :-)

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  19. hehe :) superfun post... love how mom did an about-turn on u :)

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  20. Hilarious I must say!! And yes yes, that cone incident has happened to me several times! Worse is when you have no money to buy another one :P!!

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  21. Ohhh yes. Been there, seen that!! :) A typical and dedicated to the core Indian mother :)

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  22. Bwahahahahahahahahahahha....(for that PS thing)

    And for the post I'd just say that you are adorably too cute, Red! =) :*

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  23. Ha ha ha ha !!!! Waiting for a fight that didn't happened :) :) and you were made the scapegoat :) it happens many a times :) happy that i am not the only one and my group too :) Your mom is adorable and the humour is transferred to you :)

    Thanks,
    http://ravis-ravishankar.blogspot.com/2011/12/kakinada-trip-comical-one.html

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  24. The end made me burst out laughing..... HEHE...
    Though I haven't had any shortage of these dramas at home, I myself love to see the few rare ones that stay verbal..........

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  25. Hahahahahaaaa....Bad luck, girl! Better luck, next time:P It is a boon to have parents like THAT! Enjoy your life with them, every bit of it:)))

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  26. Jiss thali mein khaati ho ussi mein chedh karti ho? tch Tch tch :p :p
    Well written...

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  27. Awww Red, you have the best sense of humor in the whole world! Seriously man, this was wonderful.

    Well the regular visits to the doctors I guess is a mallu thing. Happens at my house too. And well, so does the fights. Be blessed that you don't have to witness any.

    Indian women always succumb, we know that :)

    And that password? Awwww, give aunty a kiss for me, will ya?

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  28. hehehehe..I know...

    I taught my mom to bang the phone on my dad (Wicked me..).She did not know that statement acts can gain you a lot of attention.She learned it late but she learned it well!!! :-D

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  29. I hate it when my parents fight.. 'coz it always gets ugly :/ And I stay as far away from it as I can.. don't like getting involved at all.
    Be happy 'coz you are lucky!

    But it was funny nevertheless :)

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  30. and miss red handed writes a paisa vassol post again.! :)
    this was epic..!
    oh my god and the p/w is funny..! :P
    mmmmm i want to mention more but il keep it simple silly- I LOVE THE WHOLE POST

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  31. Omg, once again, you made me laugh. Your pieces are truly humorous! Loved the way you narrated it. To be honest! I would love to meet you in person as we would make the biggest jokers on earth.

    I would love to write a funny piece. Somehow, it doesn't work that well since I'm good at spontaneous verbal jokes. Grr..

    It's very normal for most wives to not sulk with the husbands. Especially we, Indians. just like my mom :) DHARAM PATNI! haha..

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  32. hahaha...kuch bhi!!!...it happens in our day to day life . The same words which your mom spoke about that nokia mobile , word my word my mom had said the same(throwing in washing machine and all), with that "your father don't want to learn anything, only he knows picking up and disconnecting the mob".
    it was surely a entertaining oread.....

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  33. funny post again..!!! don't knw frm whr u get all these..???

    Good one..:-)

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  34. hehehe... loved ready your story :)
    life really turns out to be so cruel at times ;)

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  35. I just love ur sense of humor...makes all ur posts a hilarious read. :)

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  36. You have such a funny way of telling the most inconsequential events. Nice post. Although, I'm not sorry for you at all. Nice parents you have! Prolly your dad would have had a earful once you were out of the picture. :D

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  37. Hahahaha I totally loved this one...laughed all through and even now as I type this !!!

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  38. You have a really cute family, I must say :)

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  39. Ha ha ha.. this was soooo funny. Your mom's so cute. :).

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  40. LOL...Even my parents don't fight. No one believes that I haven't seen them fighting. Though my father calls my grand ma DD1 and mom Dish tv (for the variety over which both the ladies crib)...

    Poor you. I am one person who never ever got to see the entertainment and no topics to fight on. I don't fight with my husband. How boring our lives are?

    Why God Why???

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  41. ...then towards the end of the movie, she finds those missing balls and says “Keh diya na.. bus keh diya”, making Amitabh feel like a little lost puppy in a storm...

    Hilarious situation... :D

    All the best for witnessing your much awaited scene sometimes... haha

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  42. hehe.. mello drama... koi na you will one day might see what you want too :P

    Weakest LINK

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  43. i loved to read your story
    lucky to have good parents and ur nature is too confusing. i dont know how many of ur close friends might be knowing you very well in and out. Just my assumption. Sorry if i am wrong.

    Great story!!!

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  44. LOL. My parents never fight directly. They come to us, the daughters and share each of their stories. And when they feel we are on his/her side, they are happy with it and will forget about the fight. :)

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  45. :)

    Ha ha ha.. you want more drama in life! I can't believe this.. but you got a twisted ending to the whole ordeal finally :D

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  46. ur post always make me laugh :) love u sweetie!

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  47. Love it!!!!


    Mum's (south Indian Mum's) love to play blame game with their daughters!

    When it comes to Children Vs. Husband, we children sadly always lose.

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  48. Haww...did you just give away your mom's FB password?? :O One hell of a read I must say.Just loved the Ice-cream example :D

    Click karne ka:
    A passing glance

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  49. WHAT!

    45 mins and no lecture to your dad! You know what my mom would have done? she would have said SO MANY things to dad AND to me (:-/) that I would have wanted 2 jump out of the car in front of a truck. :S

    My mother screams EVERY morning, cries if we retort back rudely, judges every single thing and has multiple opinions on every body :-/

    wanna exchange families?
    :P

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  50. Hahaha, Amazingly put up. I was confused when I read the title first but you really made me read the post. The conversation between you and your mother was nice, I visualised it and was smiling.

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  51. LMAO . Quite the devil you are . But , careful what you ask for . These fights always end dirty .

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  52. hahahahaha...poor u :P .. another failed attempt eh :D .. I'm in love with ur mum..she's just toooooo cute Red :) ... ooiii and why put all the blame on us?? hmmppph :P

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  53. LOLlllllllllllllll .... my sympathies with you... face a similar situation at my home too... never witnessed one domestic fight...:-P.... but the password..it takes the cake!!!!

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  54. I challege nobody can read this post without smile..I dont know but you are such strange personality. The way you put the ingredient of humour is marvellous. But believe me your dish is so tasty. loved it:) keep writting:)

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  55. Thank You for the comment :) Looking forward to read another post from you :)

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  56. I loved the me-mom conversation... :):)

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  57. Christian IS a bit of a loud mouth btw. :P

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  58. Oh my. This is Hilarious. With a capital H! Heh.

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  59. Hahahahah my sides hurt. This is hilarious!!! And I-Love-My-Scooty!!! What a classic!

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  60. RED!!! I have missed you babe! I am extremely sorry for the disappearingact!
    about the post! FUNNY FUNNIER FUNNIEST! :D
    loads of love and warmest of hugzzzz!!!!!!

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  61. Ha Ha. Sad to see you disappointed but enjoyed reading it. I should tell you , parents are always this way. They complain about the other to us and just when we want to support them, they themselves change sides :-)

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  62. trust me...u dont want to see them fight...btw i dont have parents who fight in front of me but i fought in front of my 2yr old kid and we decided not to repeat it :)

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  63. lol, cant stop laughing... you are one of a kind species :p

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  64. hehehe :)
    I love the way you narrate !!
    good one.

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