Wednesday, 18 January 2012

LOVE EDUCATION


 Listen love birds. Today I am going to teach you a lesson or two. If you are someone who goes around telling everyone about your decade long love affair which is Disney like magical and will be surely followed by ‘the happily ever after’ part, then it is you who I am talking to and about. 

I am tired of people around me boasting about their Oh-So-Perfect lovers, who make their lives enchanting. I am tired of them telling me that they cannot imagine an existence without the love of their life. I am tired of hearing that they have planned their future and will go against the world just to get hitched to each other. Please, I beg you to cut the crap off. I do believe in love and I know that you tend to do lots of foolish things while you are in it. It’s a crazy dreamland where you go blind, dumb, deaf and sometimes even handicapped. You treat your so called soul mate as if he/she is the Sun your world is revolving around. So, I repeat, I do know a thing or two about love and its toxicity.

My dear victims of the barbaric Cupid, there are so many things that I would like to bring to your notice. I know that though on the outside you look like love struck zombies, deep within you are well aware of your insecurities and your confusions. You know that everything is not sugar and cake. Your mind knows it all but your heart continues the love chant. Then why do you go around blindly promising your supposedly better half about growing old together, giving names to nonexistent children, planning post retirement life and sometimes even wishing stupid things like dying in each other’s arms followed by being buried side by side? Why do you resemble a tortoise inside its shell at night, holding on to your phone and discussing in a very serious tone whether the colour of the curtains in your imaginary home will be deep purple or red? 

Let me now introduce you to the cardinal principle of this intangible thing called love and it is called ‘Honesty’. Be honest to your lover. I won’t use the term soul mate or better half or any other cranky word because you are not yet married to that person. Stop promising each other a happy married life together. Life is uncertain and so are you. I am not saying that you should not desire a life with them nor am I implying that you should not spend cosy nights in each other’s arms, talking about the number of children you both want. All I am saying is that ‘Desire’ is one thing and to ‘Promise’ is another. Do not promise things which you are not sure about.

Love is a strong and a strange feeling, but you cannot survive just on it. You cannot make ends meet and your stomach full by eating on Love. That shit is just for the movies and songs. Love vanishes over a period of time but you get so addicted to the person that you don’t realise that it was long gone. They become your habit and you don’t remember a life without them. 

Life is meant to be seen with your ‘Practical’ glasses on. Love your lover and tell them about your desire to spend the rest of your life with them. But let them know that you don’t promise it because you are a human being who can change in a split second. I have so many friends who were in long term relationships and had promised to stick to each other no matter what. They ended up getting dumped or being the one to dump. Why bet on something, you don’t have your hand on?

So kids, fall in love, dream, desire and build your own imaginary world. But please don’t promise anyone anything. If ‘Happily ever after’ has to happen, it definitely will. Till then, shut the fuck up. 

85 comments:

  1. I love you for writing this. I hope this gets into the head of at least one or two people.
    "Life is meant to be seen with your ‘Practical’ glasses on" I am going to quote this every damn chance I get!

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    1. hehehe thankyou for eing the first one to read :)...

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  2. It's not that we don't know that it's make-believe after all but being the optimistic fools that we tend to be, we like to blind ourselves to reality.

    (I speak in general, of course)

    It's lesson well learnt. Nice read. :)

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    1. I do the same sometimes...But tht makebelieve shud be makeblieve and shud not be given or taken in the form of promises :)

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  3. Heheheheehehehe... So so so true!

    God Bless you for writing this!

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  4. Good one as always.. these people do make me wanna hurl when they go on and on about their freaking perfect life.

    But it saddens me to see you this cynical about love (like me).

    Sometime you just have to believe in 'happily ever afters'!!!

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    1. Heheh I am not being cynical... I am in a relationship too but being practicle never comes in the way of a happy relationship. I dream too :) Thankyou so much for reading!

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  5. WOW! Thank you for your valuable advice ma'am and loved the way you penned down everything beautifully and put ingredients of humour so nicely that I could not stop my smile while reading it...Enjoyed thoroughly......Keep writting:)

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    1. I am glad you smiled :) My purpose here is done !

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  6. Muah...thats a spot on post! Wear the 'practical glasses' and half the so-called life parnter wannabes would vanish:P Very honest and practical post:)

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  7. True, true and true! I suppose it's the inability to deal with the insecurities that arise in love, which makes people make high promises to each other.

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  8. Yep one needs to b practical coz life is not always hunky dory.

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  9. I so agree with this..!!!! well written once again m'am..!!!

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  10. Okkayyyyy =S
    I believe in love, soulmates and all that shizz =p
    But I don't believe in life ever being perfect, or my existence depending solely upon him.
    He's a part of my life. Major part. But - god forbid - but if something goes wrong, and we aren't together, I will feel incredibly sad but then I won't stop living will I?
    Life is too big a thing to end because of any one person or thing. Though we are tempted a lot of times =p
    And people who believe their life is a cake walk and it's perfect are the ones who don't believe it at all actually. Delusional. Sad that is =/

    I actually liked the write-up.
    But Red, someday someone's gonna make you think the opposite..make you lose all this cynicism.. Atleast I'm hoping that does happen :)

    xoxoxox
    <3

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    1. hehe baby mwah. I have someone in my life since years...and its magical, But we both have our feet firm on the ground. Its beautiful still and will always remain so....I WISH :D
      Love is magical..xoxoxoxo!!

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  11. Ahan! Now that's a post I lovvve! I am for one an extra dreamy and "somehow not very practical " kind of a person when it comes to "love"//....BUT been there, done that. Promises blah blah , in advance are nothing but making a 'farce of promises'. Live in the moment and 'shut the fuck up' about ever after till it happens !
    Ads always , Laughed my lungs out reading this one! Specially, "Shut the fuck up, till it happens" :-D

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    1. hehehhe we all become practicle sooner or later..so why not be the same in a relationship from the beginning :)
      Thankyou for reading.

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  12. I likes it.Totally.When people get mushy over love I sometimes get an urge to shake them and tell them,"Wake Up!Wake Up!"

    I really want to believe in the magic of love.But then I know it's not always "happily ever after".

    P:S: I think I was also like that.It was a long time ago.You may slap me... :D

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    1. I wont slap you...I do believe in happily ever afters but with a few ups and downs :P

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  13. I smell a mushy - nauseatingly in love- air head room mate/Classmate/acquaintance as the inspiration behind this post. Any truth in that?

    If so, I hear ya - Loud and Clear :D

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    1. hahaha you betcha!!! They were the inspiration! Too much mushyness just gets in my nerve!!

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  14. I think first time lovers should be excused if they go all mushy. They don't know what the real real world is.
    I laugh in my head very loudly when I see the first timers cooing around.
    Love is the feeling which matures with each passing person/time...:P and the first one, most of the times, is the sin!

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    1. I believe that it doesnt matter how many love affairs you had in the past. With every person its a new feeling and a different way of reacting and loving. Thankyou for reading :)

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    2. Damn.. I have had only one failure till date.

      Where are you my next lover?

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  15. red, love it! hahaha...
    yeah, cut the crap off!!!

    i smiled coz i experienced giving promises to someone before, i mean we both did...
    and its so ridiculous that we ended up with nothing, only fooling ourselves... haha..

    relate much!

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    1. I am sad it ended up but yeh maybe for better :)
      Thanks for reading my girl!

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  16. High-faive, sistah! I could just hug you for this. I was criticized not-very-politely for being too practical in my last relationship. We all dream and desire, no doubt. But that shouldn't be held against us and used against us at a later point of time when the relatonship has gone kaput. "Remember you told me this, you told me that? What happened to all those promises?" Well, I've burnt my fingers bad enough to not do it again. I would rather be a practical bitch than an unhappy compromiser.

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    1. we try to be practicle but we know the heart years for those desires to come true..and so we strive. Thats enough I guess, isnt it? Instead of fake promises!

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  17. I agree with Atrocious Scribblings, someone has to have inspired this. Let me tell you, the inspirations worked perfectly. Remember the post I wrote about my love life..(how optimist I am)..... in that, I think I didn't mention this, he never makes such promises to me... he says he would want it... if all is well, it'll happen... though that doesn't stop me from day dreaming all the time :p

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    1. he is a good soul, if he doesnt make promises. You should happy that he does desire the same. He is a great guy!

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  18. SUPER POST... Hats off!!

    I loved this part the most and I think I have told this to most of my friends in a relationship
    -->‘Desire’ is one thing and to ‘Promise’ is another. Do not promise things which you are not sure about.

    Perfect post! :D

    btw, are you mad at something, or someone who made you pen these things down? :D
    Just curious!

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    1. hehehe No m not mad at anyone. Just got ticked off by too much mushy talks by some people! :D

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  19. very very very well said!!!
    amen.. i agree and feel the same entirely!
    you never know how your mind will be, the next second..
    Honesty in love.. Great indeed.. cheers to you for being so brutally honest:)

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    1. Honesty truly is the best policy no?!! hehe m glad you read this. Appreciate it!

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  20. I have to admit onething.. Your writing is as interesting as the pics you select!! Seriously, how do you manage to search for such pics?? :D

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    1. hahahahaha lady luck always helps me in my search :P. Or sometimes my search words are really weird :P

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  21. :-) but u know sumthing,when I think about posting a post such as the one you just did,I wonder-"Hey I am not even in love!!Maybe I should mind my own business and let the love birds soar to the skies and galaxies beyond on imaginary wings."
    But all said and done,I liked the post.WOnderfully articulated.:-)

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    1. well the same is not my case...I am in love, yet I attach my feet to the ground!

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  22. Thats so true!! Its what I keep telling the love-birds around me. They think I'm jealous of their 'Love'.
    Every person in love should read this post and shut the fuck up!

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    1. oh yes! when u become honest, they doubt is u r jealous:D

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  23. nice picture and yes i can totally see 2 kids sitting on a sofa with the voice in the background narrating the story WHAD-UP! #mandatoryhimymreference

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    1. hahah I looove HIMYM...I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

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  24. Bwahahaha you just broke so many people's bubble! :D

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    1. hehehe Yes I did... I am happy that you read :D

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  25. Guys, love evaporates damn easily once we enter real world. As far as promises are concerned, they are meant to be broken...:)

    And, I agree honesty in relationship is more important than the feeling of love...

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    1. thankyou for seconding me there!!! :D

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  26. Haha ha ha.. this exactly how I sound when I talk to the love struck. A cynic with the practical glasses forever on- I agree to each point raised. But, I will leave with a quote of Rumi,“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be.”

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    1. That was a very hard hitting and meaningful quote.. Thankyou so much!

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  27. "Shut the fuck UP" ha ha ha.. As usual an awesome and reality post..

    if one can understand the true essence of love and wht exactly it means in practical life then both genders won't bitch each other.

    Be honest and true to your partners and be practical.. :)

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    1. exactly! the 'I WILL CROSS THE SEVEN SEAS FOR YOU' and shit like that are mere words. Be honest and love will be divine and shall never hurt!

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  28. Love comes naturally and so does their actions. Koochi-koochi ko moments in mals are really awkward when you're on a shopping spree with your mom.
    Either get a room or stop doing it in public; someone can tape it for his own fantasy *Grin*.

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    1. hahahaha that GRIN was evil!! :D the malls, the parks!! I just cannot go with my parents thr and not be embarrassed!

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  29. Man, the picture!! :D
    Ya, all those happily ever afters are just in fairy tales :)
    But then it's not so easy to be practical :)

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  30. HAHAHAHHAA gosh, I so love the way you write and it goes bang on! :P Loved the last part :P And PS today huh? :) ehehhee.

    Definitely, they need a bang on the head sometimes. Especially those that sit around in the parks koochikooing thinking we give a shit about their love life :P HAHAHA.

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    1. hehe gave the PS a break :P
      and the park scene is just soo embarrassing...I never go with my parents thr!

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  31. High time someone wore the practical glasses....love like a fairy tale's is only for fairy tales...if someone could shake these people who gush and publically swoon and make life hell for others..way to go, Red!:-)

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    1. exactly! Fairy tales are only fairy tales. Some people look at others and their love life and go all 'awwwww...you guys have it all so perfect!".. well they know what all they hav gone thru!

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  32. You know, my mother will LOVE you. She says the same things almost exactly :D

    I like to think I'm lovey-dovey but deep down I'n sucha cynic that my guy doesn't know how to make me believe. I see a future. But there's no point in counting on it, is there? Or maybe Im just a classic case of once bitten, twice shy.

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    1. How much ever you swoon and go all mush, deep inside you know the future. you know its clear or bleak. You know it all. Then why lie :)
      I love your mother now :D

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  33. From where the hell did you find the picture? Hahahahaha...hadd he ho gayi.. :D

    Anyway, the topic chosen was brilliant. I, without a doubt, nod my head vigorously in agreement to what you said about that promise wali baat. You know what, I have always suggested this same thing to my friends who are or have been in a relationship. Free advice service, you see. :)

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    1. heheh google search kiya tha jeeeee :P
      Free advice service good hai jee, but they might start thinking you are jealous. But I know your heart is good. :)

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  34. My god, the tone of this post was like how I would normally do the posts!!! Why this pontification all of a sudden?

    I'm an all out romantic and mush is a big part of my life. Even more so now that I miss it. For the past one year, I've been only practical, putting myself ahead of every other damn thing. It's a thing which loads told me is the right thing but when I've reached the end of the road I feel a void. I'm not sure what it is, but it sure is there.

    From where I stand today, I could do with some false promises, some momentary relief is better than none. Somebody telling me that I will make the rest of your life worthwhile, sounds a lot more appealing than you will have to strive it out on your own.

    Yet again I'm inspired to blog about the very same, but in a totally different tone. I know I said the same for the last one and you were waiting for the new post, but me and my net have fallen out of our relationship and I am busy looking for a replacement in ma life!!!

    As always pleasure to read you Red :D.

    Cheers!!!

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    1. momentarily relief is short lived. and then when it doesnt work out, all the anger and the blame game starts...I hate that part.
      I am waiting to read you!1

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  35. Very true Red... Red, u seemed hv excelled in picking up topics tht r just thr in the air but others seem to miss.. love tht ability bout u..

    loved the line "Love vanishes over a period of time but you get so addicted to the person that you don’t realise that it was long gone. They become your habit and you don’t remember a life without them..... "

    A very mature post :)

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    1. hehe I never noticed that I did that. Maybe my mind is too simple to go and search beyond whats obvious :D :(
      Thankyou so much for reading.

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  36. First of all, the pic. Hilarious. I never search the images from my posts on the google. What key words you used? :P

    And the topic, yes. we all know the love birds. However, I know a few 'practical' ones who accept that there will be problems and instead of pretending that everything is rosy, they are ready to work on it, and face it and try to resolve it. :-)

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    1. I used search words like 'ANIMAL FUNNY LOVE' 'LOVE SHIT' 'FUNNY LOVE ASS'
      Voila! The result is before you :P

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  37. Couldn't agree with you more. :)

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  38. That's a great post.
    Out of the 16 desirous romance pairs I knew at college,only 3 pairs could keep the promise. Rest of them, don't even seem to be in touch with their ex. And in that context your post makes so much sense.
    I somehow don't understand why some people become desperate to fall in love, forget the rest of the world and act stupid when they find a partner and finally break up one fine day to never contact again. Strange!

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  39. :D :D The picture in the beginning. :D :D I stared at it for a long time to figure out what it was. I read your entire post and still wasnt able to figure out :D I think i get it now :D :D

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  40. thankfully i dnt have friends who blabber on abt their love stories :D in fact they cringe at the mushy mushy out of world romances ... fairy tales dnt exist and that's a fact. Love respect and trust is all that makes a relationship cherish-able. Fake promises will never stand the test of time. wonderful post.

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  41. Haha, love ! Someone please define it for me! This was a thought provoking post. And is that a monkey's ass? :P Had to stare at least for 5 mins to find out the "hidden" meaning behind it :P

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  42. hahaha.. I know that this is my fav blog, i just started followin you today and so far im lovin everythin dat im readin..

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  43. Omg.. how did i miss this post??? This reader goes haywire at times. Just now saw your latest post and realized that I have missed many.

    Am I your inspiration to write this post??? Cos am exactly the same mushy mushy type you have mentioned ;))))) always dreamy and believes in happily ever afters..

    And John is the one with practical glasses on.. guess that gives me liberty to dream and be in the love-land. :)))

    great humor..poignant as always :)

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  44. Oh! Now I understand what you told me and why.
    Well yes what you wrote was the blue print of the love stories of today are.
    Well written.
    Just one thing, let others have their adventures.

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  45. As the song goes " Kariye na, koi vada kisi se kariye na" ( Taal )

    Beautiful , sensible post ..... sorry for the late comment

    Fell in love with your blog and most of the posts .... late bloomer , you see , late to discover the the world of blogs .. :)

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Spit It Out I Say !!!