Thursday, 16 February 2012

YOURS FAITHFULLY, A BROWN PERSON....



Dear Rest of the World,

I am enraged yet amazed by your imprudence. The variety of stereotypes you hold against my brown face is laudable, considering the fact that you absentmindedly pigeonholed us without attesting the credibility of the same. 

I am a proud Indian woman, who according to credible sources, doesn’t smell of curry, isn’t hairy, does not live to get hitched with some random guy her parents find and procreate a minimum of 3 kids with him. I can also read and write English, which even a bozo would have realised by now. 

Please do not categorize people according to the level of body odour, solely based on their nationality. We stink as much as you do and we are aware of the usage of deodorant as much as you are. Our homes might smell of curry, but we don’t, unless obviously if we are covered with it.  If you believe in categorizing people based on what they eat the most, then the Koreans would smell of Garlic, the Italians of Pasta or Pizza. Inside India, the Bengalis would smell of fish, Keralites of coconut, punjabis of Butter Chicken and the people of Tamil Nadu might end up smelling of let's say Masala Dosa. Regardless of their nationality, people around the globe will stink, if proper hygiene is not taken care of. 

We are a hairy bunch of people I agree, but that does not send across a message that ours is a land of unibrows, unshaved armpits, chest carpets and bushy legs. Unless offcourse, if we stop running to the salon twice a month or prohibit ourselves from using waxing stripes or hair removing cream, then the case might be a bit different. Our hairiness depends on our lifestyle. While some don’t find it socially awkward to hang like monkeys inside the local transport bus, flaunting their inch long armpit fur, others cover it up or wax it off. Again, we are not the ones who complain, for we don’t believe in looking like chickens with their feathers plucked off. We are happy the way we are. The Armenians support us!

Woman in our land have the same anatomy like the women in yours. We are not merely a child producing machine. Yes, a considerable amount of marriages that happen in here are arranged by the parents, but that does not mean that we do not have a say in the matter. It is not like we meet a man today and stretch our neck to him the very next day. If you are talking about getting married to a total stranger or someone you don’t know too well, let me introduce you to the fact that you can never fully know a person in a matter of a few years anyway. What do you have to say about the massive divorce rate in your country? Yes, we do have people who have more than 3 children, but I believe the same situation is there in your country. Atleast, we do not have a never ending line of teen moms. God Bless us!

I understand our English accent is not our forte, but we have an accent which can be understood globally. Our vocal chords don’t send across lines, which a common man wouldn’t understand. I know you find the Jamaican or Italian accent cool and rather sexy, but I know that your brain blinks when it comes to deciphering what they actually meant. 

If in case, you have any stigma attached to us, enlighten me as to why you spend bundles of green papers at tanning salons or act dead on the beach? Leave the job of being Indian, to the Indians. Our Bollywood movies might be filled with songs starring dancing actors, but you shouldn’t be the one complaining especially when you love the ‘GLEE’ series.

It’s high time you quit labelling us as dwelling from the land of snake charmers or as illiterate, poor and corrupt people. OK, we might be corrupt, but didn’t you hear that we are working on it? Ours might be a crowded, heavily overpopulated and sometimes suffocating country but through all of that, the system still works and it works pretty damn well! 

Faithfully,
Just another Brown person.

P.S- This blog turns 1 yr old Today!! I cannot thank you enough for being a reader!

Image Courtesy- ribbu.com




127 comments:

  1. Wow!! This was so well written. And I am glad that someone finally answered all the silly stupid questions that r posed on us as Indians! Bravo dear.

    And happy b'day to ur blog. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for being the first to read!

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  2. I would like to know the inspiration for this post though! Who the hell dared to infuriate Red??? :D :D
    Stereotypes are everywhere. Within the country we discriminate people and when we go outside we face it ourselves :P :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahah no inspiration...Just came in my mind!

      Delete
  3. Ha Ha!! EPIC!!

    BTW

    Happy birthday to u red handed!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Birthday to your blog Red ! so what are you presenting to your blog? I enjoy reading all your posts.. Keep posting

    I must say that was strong post.. coming to "Teen Moms" that how we are different from them.

    well presented!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I presented my blog a PS :D...Thankyou sooo much for reading!

      Delete
  5. How does one stereotype a brown person with a red hand? ;-)

    Well replied to whoever it was that asked such silly questions about Indians though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehe...I am still a brown girl with a red hand :P

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  6. First of all Congratulations :)

    and now coming to the topic, I live in UAE, c country where 80% of its population is that of expats, out of which some 50 % are Indians and then there are Filipinos, Americans, Britishers, Europeans, Syrians, Africans, egyptians etc etc etc. Being an artist, I have come across people of all nationalities, With many of them I have interacted, have had conversations, while others I have observed and believe me when I say this that we all are simply alike except for the skin color and some cultural practices.
    Some of them stink, some are very hairy, many have 2 and more children, they bargain, they gossip... just like us or rather just like Human Beings in general

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I second you, and that exactly is why I wrote this.. People are all alike!! Thankyou for reading!!

      Delete
  7. HEY HAPPEEEE BIRTHDAYYYYY REDHANDED! Thats a fitting celebration post! Yes, we are brown and we don't give a s*** as to what you think about us! We love the way we are:)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehe yes we dont give a shit...we are a proud nation!! :D

      Delete
  8. This is a very well written post! your frustration level seems to be at the peak. God bless the person who tried to mess with you. :D
    Congratulations on the completion of one year of your blog!

    love. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehe Thankyou ever so much! Noone is behind this post...

      Delete
  9. Wonderfully put across. If this isn't a 'RED HANDED' cheek slap across the stereotypists' face; I don't know what is. Pardon the pun.

    Completely concur with your counter on the part about smelling like your country's food; that must explain why the Chinese are nauseating .

    Don't even get me started about having children part; one of my closest German friends has 14 siblings. I think I`ll stop here.

    Do I assume that this post is a result of watching numerous Russell Peters performances?

    Many congrats on turning 1 in the blog world; may you continue to amaze us with your wit and your writing for many many years to come.

    Cheers :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yes PARDON THE PUN :D...14 siblings!!!!! :O...Ok that is too much!I am not a Russell Peters fan btw :/.. I am a huge GEORGE CARLIN fan!

      Delete
  10. Lovely post! :D
    I loved it to the core...
    Kudos RED!! :D

    and many many best wishes to ur blog!

    May RED HANDED be red foreva!! xD xD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehe! Red will always be red with an ugly head :D

      Delete
  11. Oh my. It does suck when people label other people. I understand,but don't rule off others just yet!

    And for people who are like the narrow minded ones you've describe, just give them the finger.

    A mixed-breed person
    =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh this is directed to those narrow minded ones!Thankyou so much for reading!

      Delete
  12. HEAR HEAR HEAR !!!!!!!!!!!

    Excellent yes I wonder and need to ask too why they spend so much money to become BROWN...


    Thanks for saying all this , in my job i cant say it on their face but HEAR HEAR ...
    totally second this .. and hey forget about spoken english .. written english is better then UK , beleive me .. these gora's they make so many mistake its hilarious...

    Well done

    and congrats on being ONE today .. happy birthday
    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My God!! I wish I cud give an earful to those you are giving you a hard time!
      We people give too much importance to grammer!

      Delete
  13. I read this post and the shopping post together. red u r just too good :D literally in splits..God seriously save the one who provoked u to write this up!
    and congrats on complete an year. Happy bday to ur blog!

    sarah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heh!! I am glad you liked it.. I try my best to not sound stupid :P
      Trust me it is very difficult for me!

      Delete
  14. Hey Red. That's a fiery post. Who rubbed you the wrong way to bring out this post? Or was it something you read somewhere? You seem pretty angry.
    I like the way you've put across a lot of points that hold true for the "rest of the world". But if you ask me, more than the "rest of the world', we ourselves (a LOT of us) have this deep rooted insecurity about our skin color,style,accent and everything. Its annoying and sad that we actually HAVE issues with the way we're made. More than the 'rest' sometimes I feel its 'we' who're to be blamed. For emulating the rest like monkeys and dissing the essence of our own country n culture.

    For those firangs who dare to act cocky with me, I'll throw this post right on their face :)

    Well written!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually thinking of it, you are bang on right! Some of us do have this ground breaking insecurity about the way we are. We can c that in the airports, whr we many of us try our best to dress up like firangs!

      Delete
  15. I love it when you rant. :P So much fun!

    Yappie yappie b'day to your blog, sweety! :)

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  16. Hey Red :)

    Though it is a well put across post... I would like to say from my short experience that the situations are changing... all whites do not look at us the same way they did some years back... especially with the sizable immigrant population in the West...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thats right and this open letter is directed to that who believe in these labels! and hehe thankyou for reading :)

      Delete
    2. the catch point being... those whites who still think of Indians as above are most probably uneducated... :P

      Delete
  17. And people here are dying to become a part of western culture. You should also post about this issue.

    Good read. Stay Blessed ^_^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will someday..Great idea!! Thanks to you :D

      Delete
  18. And Congrats for being 1 year old... :) :) look forward to many more... :)

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  19. Congrats and Happy Birthday to the ugly head :D

    Loved this post. Chest carpet!! :P

    They obviously haven't heard of Anna Hazare yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheheh yes Anil kapoor and his chets carpet :D
      Thankyou :)

      Delete
  20. Felt like I read another 'open letter'..;p And was a total fun read.
    And happy b'day to ur blog...:-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Happy Birthday!!! :D :D I so loved the way you have written this. One tight slap to the *OMG, India is an overpopulated land where people still die because of cholera* Hmpf. You are brilliant!!! I loved this!!!!!

    *Hugs* :) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheh!! I am glad that you found this good enough :D
      XOXOXOXOXOX

      Delete
  22. kudos.. if i were a billionaire in states i'd arrange for this to be published in the news as a gift for turnin one;)
    but you know what they say about wishes right?
    if wishes were horses, creative people would be jockeys:)
    but yeah, compliments to the buddin red handed writer.. keep goin, girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahahaha "IF WISHES WERE HORSE, CREATIVE PEOPLE WOULD BE JOCKEYS"...Hhahahahahah..never heard of tht one!!!

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    2. story of my life.. my sense of humor is so awesome most people dont believe that the jokes i crack are my own!

      Delete
    3. Stop kidding! Really? It was amazing. Salutations!

      Delete
  23. Kudos to thee! You've finally spoken and spoken well.. I love you for this post!
    I hope people read and understand, well that is, if they can!
    You've covered everything, haven't you! Awesome :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahah I tried covering everything that I am aware of :D

      Delete
  24. oiii and happy b'day to your blog.. she's one amazing baby :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhehehe she says Thankyou and a tight hug!

      Delete
  25. woman, CLAM DOWN. 'are ye angrezaan aaye bhikhaiyan ki fotu nikalte bahar le ja ke dikhate' ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haahah! My dadi says this..thought obviously in Malayalam :D

      Delete
  26. the height of classy humour.. and you have said it!
    loved the pigeon hole... reminded me of the pigeon hole theory in torts:)
    but looking in a different way, by de-hairing and deodrifying etc etc.. are we trying to meet the non brownies standard, by any chance... or was it with us always.. if we do that to meet the standards they fixed.. thats indeed an irony:(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have no idea why we do what we do sometimes...we are highly insecure though. What you say?
      Btw thankyou so much for reading.

      Delete
  27. Oohh ahhaha you've just voiced it all. I agree. They can't go around thinking everyone's the same. And no ones perfect. CONGO on turning one! Well your blog :) LOL.

    Sonshu

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  28. Only one word Ms Red,WOW...:)

    very well written..:D

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  29. Hats Off :-)
    I wish each and every person who has a prejudice against us Indians, read this and feel ashamed for having branded us that way. Excellent post. The thoughts of many Indians put together :-)

    ReplyDelete
  30. I love this article, just can't say how much. :) Congratulations on turning a year old. Count me among your fans! :D You are an awesome writer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey that was really sweet of you to say! M thankful!

      Delete
  31. Stereotypical attitude is damn irritating! Its a good thing you tried to give it back.

    Happy blogoversary!!

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  32. That's a harsh one!! Especially to those who belittle us!
    Very well written!

    And Hugs for completing one year! :)
    Happy budday! :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. The ultimate answer to the stereotyping... well done! And ummmmmuaaaah on the first blog birthday!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahh my blog mwahs you back! Thankyou!

      Delete
  34. A well handed out reply to those who deserved it!

    Congrats on the blogoversary,RED! :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. OMG...Amazing! loved this post! Know what? Not only outsiders stereotype Indians but we Indians do this amongst ourselves also.....Saying this because been through this(in a funny way). I was born in Nepal, my background is Rajasthani, I was not brought up in South India and now I stay in Delhi after marriage. So when someone asks from where I belong to...First I get confused, next if I say Andhra Pradesh, they say yeh toh teluguwali hain....If I say Nepal, they say yeh toh foreigner hain:P.......Goddammit! For once I am a human being.....I am a proud Indian
    Happpppppieee Birthday to you and one b'day bump to your blog:P:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha so u r a Rajasthani no? Since thts ur native?
      anyways thanks for reading.. :D

      Delete
  36. Blog is an year old but it seems like it has reached its puberty prior to stipulate time.
    Congrats Red

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heheheheh thankyou for those kind words! :P

      Delete
  37. Happy Birthday Red Handed......... And brilliant post! Loved every part of it! Too good!

    ReplyDelete
  38. .stereotypes are EVERYWHERE... actually indians are hardworking people as what one of the doctor here in the philippines told us...

    P.S- red, i so love BOLLYWOOD MOVIES, and i dont care if your culture are more of dancing/musical in films coz it brings much fun to the viewers... and one more thing, bolly movies brings a lot more impact to me compared to our movies here in the philippines... im jus being honest.. =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehe I love you for loving us so much!! Yes Bollywood movies are too happening and happy to be true!!

      Delete
  39. *Cheers to being an Indian Woman* :D And *Cheers to your blog* :)
    Keep blogging :) You're a great writer!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hey that was sweet of you! Thankyou!

      Delete
  40. Wow this is the best bday gift you can give ur blog ! And I felt so proud of being brown after reading this !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheehh! I am glad you felt that way :) We all are proud!

      Delete
  41. This is very interesting...am in US and thankfully yet to come across such stereotypes. Very well written...funny yet kind of sad...

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  42. And congrats for finishing an year :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am happy that you havent yet been subjected to such stupidity!
      Thankyou!!

      Delete
  43. congratulations and birthday bumps and birthday wishes for a brilliant year my RED lou...
    sorry have been extremely caught up in the realities of life lately..so couldn't comment earlier..
    kindly pardon my bleh mood.
    i know thy will understand. i know this ain't a typical meoww response...but pls make do with this..
    MASSSSSSSST POST.
    PERIOD
    cheers :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What happened to you my meowwww?? Wht or who is haunting your cute lil mind??!!
      But me so happy you read this and commented!

      Delete
  44. What Indians think of themselves is seen in bollywood movies where the hero is tall, handsome , rich and powerful NRI. What West thinks of us can be seen in movies like Salaam bombay, slum dog millionaire, outsourced etc. We are neither,or may be both and a ten thousand things more...Hate sterotypes and Loved your post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you said is bang on correct! This people from abroad should not so loosely categorize her!!!!!

      Delete
  45. Brilliant post, Red. :) But don't you think that we ourselves have biased behavior towards the white people? We feel inferior to a 'Gori mem' and feel superior to a Nigga. That is how we are and that is how we have always been.
    _______

    And CONGRATULATIONS dear!!!! Yours is one of my favorite blogs. Muah!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehehe thankyou so much for reading! and I am one of you fav blogs! :D...So sweet!!!

      Delete
  46. Bapre!!!:-) What happened????Such a vitriolic outburst???:-D
    Anyway...congrats for the anniversary...365 days ..338 followers..???Incredible.....almost 0.92 follower addition per day..:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheheheh its no vitriolic outburst :P
      I just needed something to write :P

      Delete
  47. Psst...
    They say that snake charmers can see on a higher plane of illusion, compared to normal folks. Which means they have more knowledge than anyone else.
    And the people who mock us, well, be glad at their ignorance, their machines would refuse to talk if we took our hands off them :P


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahah our engineers are the only reason their empire survives!!!
      TRUE THAT!!

      Delete
  48. I have a couple of good phirangi :P friends and they've never categorized Indians as anything close to being offensive but I know there are people who do.. I, on the least have only met phirangi's that show such pride on being what nationality they are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad that you have not come acrss the bad ones! I pray you never do!

      Delete
  49. Bingo ! Right in the bull's eye :D Everyone has his/her opinion. We judge rest of the world as much as they do. But quite liked the way you brought it up! ;)

    Happy belated birthday to your awesome(st) blog RED. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh we judge...but all that is not our problem :P
      hheheehhe!!
      Thankyou so much!!

      Delete
  50. what happened? did anyone categorize you? anyway it's so well written and very clear!

    congratulations on completing one year :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheh noone categorized me. I just wanted to write something and this came in my mind. And I exploded :/
      Thankyou so much for being a reader :)

      Delete
  51. And a slap on the face for stereotypes all over :)

    One year and SO popular? I want to see what greater heights you can take this space to :)

    God bless The Ugly Head that keeps us entertained:) Happy belated birthday, bloggie:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ehehehehe bloggie and the blog owner says thankyou :)
      I love you and your blog a lot! I have made that clear havent I : :P

      Delete
  52. Red!! Red!! Red!! Red!! :D

    First of all, congratulations are in order for an amazing milestone - 1 year eh?? Wow! Wishing u all the best in ur writing future n considering the way u write, am pretty sure its sure gonna be a celebrated one :)

    I must add that u're one of the first blog friends whom I made on blog space n I'm glad that its still very much on even after a year.. n between the holy trinity of u, Spiff n PeeVee, I've read some really, really amazing posts!!! God Bless u brilliant babes!! :)

    And I will always remain a huge fan of the way u write these amazing posts, Red - the clarity, the humor n the brilliant way u just pick up a topic from the air - its truly, truly magical - (u knw, I actually never realized but me thnk me just hit a year too in Feb... :D) But keep writing dear - I was a lil afraid when in one of ur earlier posts, u mentioned u were kinda hit by a writerz block n that too, just after that amazing post on the birds n the bees (easily one of ur best!)... :)

    Very nice post here, Red.. I always liked the Russel Peters joke on us browns - considering that one third of the earth is covered by us browns(ok, so I included China too :)), the whites can run all that they want - but it is inevitable - we will hump them! So if u look at it, the future of the world is truly brown :)

    Awesum post Red n congrats fr a brilliant milestone...

    Taking a bow.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is truly my most fav comment of all!! :D
      And you forgot you bloggie's bday! Now that is RUDE!!
      About the Russell Peters joke, I hadnt come across tht one!! hahahaahahahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
      Thankyou soooo much for reading!

      Delete
  53. What a super post! I am here after a long, long while and the place is as good as ever. I just realized I do not have a subscription!
    Congrats for the blog anniversary. I hope the place reaches many new milestones in the years to come. :)

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thnkyou for coming back :) Means a hell lot!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Hope, the rest of the world is actually listening..:P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol I dont think they take me seriously :P

      Delete
  56. *act dead on the beach* ... hahahah.. sriouly ,I am rofl

    ReplyDelete
  57. There is chaos all around our country. But the chaos is so peaceful. I love how everything is out of place and broken yet works brilliantly.
    [aw. I just had a nostalgic moment about my country. All proud and smiley] ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehe I am a proud Indian too...Thankyou so much for dropping by!

      Delete
  58. y Red,

    You've given it to 'em and how !
    Loved this one. My first time here. Landed after some major blog-hopping ! :P
    No matter which part of the world we are, there exists atleast one group everywhere where opinions are not formed by inherited.
    Thankfully, I have a wonderful mini-gloabl friend group who love India for its food and hospitality :)

    and oh, did I mention that am going ot follow this?

    p.s. I commented earlier says it cannot verify my credentials ?! So typing a refined comment again. Hope this works :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad your bloghopping brought you here!! :D...
      I will now check your blog out :D

      Delete
  59. Let something for you here...http://randomrahul.blogspot.in/2012/02/nine-lives-red-handed.html :-)

    ReplyDelete
  60. A big congratulations for completing a year! Read a lot about you by Rahul. I've read some of your posts a few days ago.. and I'm back again! :)

    Keep up the good work! :)

    Love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rahul has been too kind :) but I am happy that because of him, you could visit this blog :)

      Delete
  61. Ah, sure Red :) Would love to have you at my blog.
    Keep writing ! :)

    ReplyDelete
  62. Ahh..a nice one again..I see a firebrand lawyer..Seriously...

    "Woman in our land have the same anatomy like the women in yours" ~ Sadly I disagree..These oriental women have no hair not even eyebrows.They remain thin as sticks even after multiple (read more than 2) deliveries...Ohh I don't even get clothes my size here...boohooo...

    ReplyDelete
  63. That was quiet an answer to someone who deserved to get one :) I love all the fuming ,emo and anything deviating from normal posts!!! :) I love all the drama. :)

    Happy Bday Red Handed Blog!! Love your blog!!I can connect so well:)

    ReplyDelete

Spit It Out I Say !!!