Tuesday, 29 May 2012

The Great Indian Pooping!!!


India will always be a developing country. The civility of our countrymen will force it to remain that way. We just cannot let go of our animal like tendencies and make way to something less grotesque. 

So I understand that we derived the idea of shitting and peeing anywhere and everywhere from our ancestors the Chimpanzees or conceptually the early Man. But while the rest of the world evolved into people with stance and etiquette, we stuck like glue to our age old barbaric living. We continued blessing the land with our faeces and piddle undisturbed, in every land or nook left unattended and unused. Our citizens, be it man or woman, do not believe in false modesty by shying away from the concept of pooping together while the rest of the world passes them unperturbed.

I have spent 14 yrs of my life seeing the buttocks of a considerate number of slum dwellers as the bus dropped me to school every morning and if in case I got too busy to notice the defecating ceremony, I could still catch a glimpse or two through the windows of my classroom. All this became possible due to the large ground facing the slums and located right in front of my school, which the thoughtful government kept free for conducting small sports activities. Every morning, the slum dwellers, irrespective of their gender, age or butt cheek size, march towards the ground with a mug of water, unload the previous days load and frolic back with a smile of satisfaction on their face. On the same ground every year in the month of October, thousands of people including me stand to joyfully celebrate the bursting away of Ravana. To prep up of the land for the Dussehra celebrations, the munificent municipal corporation comes with truckload of sand to carpet the land fully pasted with human poop. The land becomes a fresh open toilet for the slum dwellers from the next day onwards. 

Soon the less barbaric lot of the city, wrote and pestered the local government to build public toilets on that land for the satisfaction of both the excreting slum dweller and the forced to watch plebeians. Hence, a line of toilets were built upon the area which was poop coated every day. But they say it right, ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’. While some the residents started using the newly built toilets, majority continued to practice their age old tradition by sitting right outside the toilet and defecating, sometimes accompanied by domestic animals. The dog and the master pooped together and that my friend is the equality we were unceasingly searching for. 

The human mind is hard to decipher and the act of those who had a toilet to use but were persistent on passing stool on an open land, is still being researched upon. Even a notice was pasted on the walls of the toilet that not even a penny is charged for using the toilet, made brick by brick only for the slum dwellers.

The reason for ignoring the amenities could be many. May be it is the joy of a taking a dump in the company of your family and friends. Maybe it’s their preferred way to discuss the current affairs of the world. Maybe it’s their chance of meeting new people. Maybe it’s the view. Like I said, the human mind is hard to decipher.

Image Courtesy- stockpicturesforeveryone.com

89 comments:

  1. 'Poop' goes the weasel!!!:-)

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    1. Haaah! Thanks for being the first to read!

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  2. Totally understand! We have to bear the ugly sight every damn morning while travelling through train! Ugh!


    www.chpdzn.blogspot.com

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  3. Railway tracks are the hot spots :P Wonder when this will change.

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  4. I know!
    That sure is such a disgusting thing!! If you live in a house next to an empty site, you can see all classes of passers by stopping there to pee or poop.

    Really? Even after they built toilets just for them? Sheesh!
    Maybe it's a little more of the "We won't change our ways for anything or anyone. This is our tradition", nonsense.

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    1. I understand it when u dont have the services..but when u do and still dnt wanna use it. thts disgusting!!

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  5. The civility of our countrymen will force it to remain that way. We just cannot let go of our animal like tendencies and make way to something less grotesque.



    Well, I can understand what you might have felt, but before making any such about India I would like you to do some homework, because more then 50% of population doesnt have access to proper sanitation,

    I wanted to say more but I think you are intelligent enough,

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    1. Sir, will all due to respect to ur comment and ur insight regarding my intelligence, I request you to broaden your look when u bash me up with allegations of having not done my home work. If you have read my post fully and by reading I mean understanding like a prudent person, you would know that I have no where spoken about those who haven't got the services for proper sanitation. I am plainly talking about those who got it, yet are not giving a hoot about it. Also when I wrote about the civility about our countrymen, I mean the civility of people including the less privileged ones who take a wee wee on the road side because thy cannot control the bladder. Yes that is the civility I was talking about. And sir before talking about my intelligence you should know that statistics might come under intelligence but where nd where to apply it comes under wisdom.
      No more taunts directed to my intelligence or character would be appreciated. So do not try!

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    2. Saying you are intelligent was not a taunt anyway.

      I tell one incident.

      There is this Bank Manager, back ground rural. This fellow living in city for last more then 20 years.

      Out of conversation a fact came into picture, that till that his wife has not been able to get used to with Lavatory!!!
      She doesn't feel as relieved as she feel when she go out when she visit her village.

      What would you say this? :)


      as far as my comment was concerned, I see you talked about people in Slums those defecate in open. They had proper facilities? I mean I am li'l surprised, thats why asking.

      Moreover Bladder control,

      Medically one should answer natures call ASAP and even if one try to control, where are public toilets even Metros and if there are any, are these clean enough.

      I would like to know how many you have used till date so far or even tried to enter.




      and apart from all this,

      I just read your post as usual and commented though that was not usual.

      My idea of making any comment basic communication and discussion. Although I am not making any comment henceforth to save you from inconvenience, Its your blog after all.



      My name is not SIR. Its Makk. Keep Smiling.

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    3. @MAKK-Yes they did have proper sanitation and the corporation regularly cleaned it. So ya it is surprising.. And I want to call you sir and you should'nt mind that unless its a curse. Keep smiling!
      @Blahblahholic- :D

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  6. Lol equality ! ! ? Rofl! Rightly said... We will always be a developing country...one of the reasons being this... :-(

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    1. Thanks for reading madame! But we should still hope :)

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    2. ". The dog and the master pooped together and that my friend is the equality we were unceasingly searching for. " This line had me in splits...have forwarded the link 2 few of my friends and sister as well... :)

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  7. wow..!
    i feeeeeeeeeeell good..!
    reality hai par sai hai..!
    railway tracks, bus stands , rickshaw stands.
    bolo to burai
    na bolo to khud bura lagta hai ..!
    what to do ? and what not to do?
    we are progressing in scams
    2g
    3g
    cwg
    coalgate
    porngate
    bus yahi karegey..!
    :(
    nice post..!
    il read purane wale in a couple of days..! :)
    paisa wasool..!

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    1. UMEED NAHI CHODNEKA beti :D. Hows thee headache. I hope u r well :)

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  8. hee hee hee very observant you are!

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  9. Yewwww, but a lovely post. Write to Aamir, we might get to see this on 'Satyamev Jayate' :P

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    1. That particular episode will be called 'shat'yamev jayate

      Disclaimer: Not meant to hurt the serial-makers sentiments, just in jest. :P

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  10. A similar case happened in our village. But, people returned to open-air-pooping due to filthy, stinking toilets (low maintenance - blame the government or the people, doesn't matter), and lack of water supply. The open land seemed to be a much better option. It didn't suffocate them.

    Nothing against your write-up (well written, by the way). Just giving another perspective.

    Down here in Bangalore, it's the educated men who take a free piss on the streets. Notice the word 'men'. Women have a control valve or something. I don't know.

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    1. Well women cant coz then there would be a line of spectators :P
      hEHE THANKS FOR READING :)

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  11. Arrgh... I seen it more than enough during my one year in Chennai.. not to mention the pool of poop that floats around when it rains..

    We went on an awareness program to some remote villages in TN and to our shock discovered that those people indeed have government sponsored toilet in every house, but refuse to use.. The reasons are probably the ones that you have cited..

    Also, go through this piece...we have yet another stinking scam to our credit

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-04-26/lucknow/31409335_1_toilets-households-tsc

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    1. That article was a sure eye opener!! It is a sad state of affair!

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  12. excellent.
    i spend 15 minutes royally typing out a mile long comment for your post and publish and go to a bogus meeting only to come back and see that the internet connection connection was long gone.
    so the bleddy comment never got published only.
    stoooopid aaapheees.
    so i am taking too much pain to write again.
    pffftttt..

    hmmm..you know RED..this post reminds me of a book i had read a few years back..maybe you have read too..
    SHANTARAM by GREGORY DAVID ROBERTS.
    the concept of community throwing out of body-garbage is nicely explained in that book.
    apparently its the plebeian way of bonding and showing brother/sisterhood to each other :D
    people even decipher what meals the person-in-action might have eaten the night before and also what might have upset his/her dear tummy with one look at the by-product of that individual.
    that is some talent no..?

    sigh..thanks to travelling to and from college and now work..i have been unfortunately begrudgingly privy to the wanton display of the "fronts" and "behinds" of varying shapes and sizes and in a way i have now become NUMB to it all.
    so what i do in this situation..when people shamelessly strut their "stuff"...?
    IGNORE

    we are indeed a quirky nation.
    people will go to any and every extent possible to safeguard their wealth and possessions.
    but they wont bat an eyelid before flashing their modesty to all and sundry.
    makes me wonder at times..are they so used to living in filth that they cant digest hygiene and cleanliness of any kind..

    and this completes probably the first ever serious comment i have written for a post in thy blog.
    too much no..?
    dont worry darling..meoww is just the same.
    khi khi khi
    seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

    good post only molayy
    cheers!!

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  13. "people even decipher what meals the person-in-action might have eaten the night before and also what might have upset his/her dear tummy with one look at the by-product of that individual."
    MAN I will dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee laughing :D :D
    And I like serious comments too...hehe but the ending was cute :) Thankyou madamjee!

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  14. I'm guilty of the aforementioned action. When I used to visit my grandparents in Vizag in my childhood, my grandpa wouldn't allow me to use the toilet. He used to say that it was for women. He used to take me with him to the fields very early in the morning. And when I complained that I cant take a dump in the open, he usually asked me to close my eyes and perform the duty..;-)

    Not just that. Even the bathing is done near the ponds or the public bore-wells and wells. And strangely I too never felt shy when I was doing that..:P Very strange in fact, when I think of it now.

    And I dont know why, but I tend to give you links of various videos for ur posts. Watch this, for more fun..:D

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    1. Lol! The video was hilarious!! Hahahah the fart scene :D

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  15. Sometimes the loos are so disgusting that the nice airy open land seems like a poop heaven, I'm guessing. Reminds me of 'shit-pits' that were built during treks I've been to. After a group or two had passed by, believe me, we were ready to run behind trees and brave the poison ivies of the land...as compared to enter the all-sense-pervading tent erected for privacy.

    Oh well.

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    1. That could be a reason too....:D

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  16. well red as u said there could be many reasons y they opt open places, i work for improvement of slums, I come across many ppl who are shy/uncomfortable to use toilets and few are lazy to flush too...

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    1. MAN OH MAN!!!! Thanks for reading :)

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  17. its the fresh airrrrrrrrrrrrrr :) I tell you .. doing it in the fresh open air ... and letting others feel the aroma of the rich and lovely digested food or whatever we ate last night :) he he he he he


    Bikram's

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    1. ooops I guess you did not like my comment :(

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    2. OH MY MY...M sorry. I published ur comment through gmail and then ran past it :(

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    3. ye ye ye I know now ... sniff snifff

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  18. Ughh I so know what you mean. Same's the case with me. See it almost everywhere. But what's said is when they are provided the amenities, why then? Sad!

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    1. God knows. It was regularly cleaned too!

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  19. Oh shit, whatta post I say! Kicks ass...err..pun unintended. :P

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  20. I wonder if the fascination for the matters you mentioned is endemic to India and Indians or is it a life style in the many underdeveloped countries.
    The subject matter of defecation outside the private place - toilet, is less the problem than the fascination to display the act in public view and together as a social group.
    I guess in my view Tamilnad has the notoriety for this perverted display.

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    1. I have to second you. TN is the worst when it comes to this!!!

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  21. mastt...read ur entire blog in one day...ur writing has got a diff. kind of humour..interesting & captivating..:))

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  22. hii..went through ur entire blog in one day..very interesting & captivating..wid amazing sense'o humour..

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  23. In our country, it's alright to piss in public but not to kiss in public. Strange!
    I was surprised to see people driving in luxury cars to open defecating grounds on the mornings I went for jogging while studying at a near by south Indian state.
    I feel there's more to it. A large group of people still don't have access to toilets. At many places where govt has built facilities, they are inadequate. Some places lack adequate water supply. When all these issues r addressed, still things go wrong because there's lack of awareness.
    When we take a look at the MDG report, that's where we have failed miserably so far.

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    1. Yes exactly. So many problems revolving one tiny subject . SIGH!!!!
      Awareness and more facilities are needed!

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  24. I was immediately Reminded of the scene in "Peepli Live" where the main character "Natha" goes to take a dump and escapes when nobody is looking. The New reporter and his cameraman gather around the 'Sacred' spot and try to analyze saying things like 'it is said that one can know what the person ate last night by looking at the poop. As you can see, the poo is black so...blah blah blah'

    What relation to your post. I was imagining reporters and psychologists going to each person engaged with nature and asking him all sorts of question to find out why people like to enjoy being satisfied in the open

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    1. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaha...I so wish the reporters do that!!! heheheeh

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  25. I continue to be amazed by the things you observe. :P Can't say I ahven't noted it too. The unfortunate days I have.. one of the biggest goof up was stepping right into a pile of poop just before I had get on stage. :|

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  26. I continue to be amazed by the things you observe. :P Can't say I ahven't noted it too. The unfortunate days I have.. one of the biggest goof up was stepping right into a pile of poop just before I had get on stage. :|

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    1. wht stage :O
      Human pooop? I hope its cow dung :O

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  27. Hahaha :P
    So true this one is. Sadly.
    It's disgusting. Yuck :|

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  28. Red Handed, I have been a consistent reader of your blog and frankly, quite a bit of a fan too.

    But I thought I had to share this after this post - I think, we ought to show more empathy towards these people rather than dismiss them as barbarians with animal tendencies and take a "Us vs. Them" stand. Being a slum dweller in this country is a life which you and me can never ever imagine...and fortunately so. The way their minds think is totally different and I agree, it is no way to justify this action of theirs but all I am saying they still have their reasons (none of which would be what you have suggested in your last paragraph, which seemed to be more of light-hearted sarcasm.

    Do you really think that they enjoy being amidst all that filth? One might ask, why then are they not using the community toilets. Well, for one thing, most of these toilets are hardly maintained by the government. Esp. the 'free' ones like you have mentioned. Secondly, they have a set of superstitions/ ignorance about these things. Sad, but can definitely be changed with awareness. Even animals can be toilet-trained. Why not these people?

    I understand you might have heart for them despite what you wrote. But for the average reader of an influential blogger like you, he just joins along and starts holding a stigma against these poor people, which is why a good deal of responsibility lies with good writers like you.

    As for the urban, well-to-do civilians who do this while traveling, blame it on partly, lack of public toilets and partly, yes, a pathetic mentality. But I see your post coming across mainly stressing the slums. Sorry if I sounded preachy. Cheers!

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    1. Yes, I agree to the points mentioned in your comment. But what if the amenities where provided and regularly cleaned too. Wht if there was no scarcity of water? Then it all comes down to just mentality.
      Thankyou soo much for being a reader. I pray I dont dissappoint you again!

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  29. the view u get is far better than the what you have inside a public toilet ;)

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  30. the view one gets outside is far better than the unclean public toilets ;)

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  31. Hahaha...God...wasn't it the shittiest post? (Consciously intended pun) :P XD
    And yes, human mind is so hard to decipher. Especially if it is an Indian.

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    1. hahaha pun intended :D... Thnaku for reading

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  32. if i get a scolding from my manager for laughing so loudly in office, the blame is on you!
    OH GOD!

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    1. AND YOU CAN PUT THE BLAME ON ME :P

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  33. It fails me as to how do we even dream of being a superpower without having such basic amenities!! Its sad and the sight of ppl shitting is absolutely disgusting.

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    1. Hmmm....well government got to do something about this...better services

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  34. I so loved the topic. :) A Good read indeed! Forget the slum dwellers, I have come across people who have all the amenities of western toilets in their house, but do not use them at all. The reason solely being not used to it earlier. They are still comfortable with the mug of water ;)

    However small or big, In whichever aspect, I guess we Indians fear change! :(

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    1. change is feared by all..but it is the only thing in life that is constant and we got to adapt :)
      Thanku for reading!

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  35. Oh, how I've missed reading you! :| *Serious Longing Expression* Ohhhhh Dear Lord! The pooping tragedy! Seriously, I know what you mean, with Dusshera Maidan evened out every year, I now wonder where we used to stand! *Shudders* You made me laugh to the core! :D :D :D

    Missed you my Red! Blessed be!

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    1. welcome welcome./..been busy with exams and stuff eh? mam, I am still busy. job hunt. stupid me dint sit for placements :(

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  36. 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!' I always say...

    Remember when cows on the streets, a total Indian nuisance, is now becoming something of a tourist attraction - think we should market this also as part of the 'Incredible India' campaign - I mean, where else on earth can we see so many people pooping together - if we can get foreigners to join our pooping parties too, wow, think of all the tourism equity we can build.. n some smart marketeer cud do creatively bring other aspects to this sport - maybe music, booze and food too and the possibilities are enormous... India's poopin parties cud be India's wild card entry to join the league of Rio's carnivals, Norway's nude beaches n the like...

    U know Red, we cud be sitting on something big here....

    fc*klove

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    1. hahahahahahah...ur comment is always looked forward to coz it is sheer brilliant and most of the times better than my post itself :P
      Lets discuss the plan in detail :P

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  37. The best way to stop this is to put a statue of a God in the open place. Lets c if they poop now.

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    1. now that is a fool proof idea sirjee!

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  38. you know whats tragic about reading a blog way later than it published.. you cant crack a joke to say you were here..
    but in all honesty.. isnt this but the hilt of freedom? equality? justice?
    you can overprice your land all you want.. yet you cant stop my hapless slumdweller from steppin out of his underwear n squat away in glory,
    posing with dexterity over that concrete tripod on the beach,
    and feeling the salty sea winds caress his sweaty buttock,
    while his body evacuates pent up frustrations from his fights with food and the commmerce tht goes with it :D

    p.s. .. and THIS Might sound really yuck.. but when you re out on a trek, you gotta do it anyhow.. sometimes in th snow.. sometimes in the rain.. lol dark caves n vast grasslands.. n its not so bad really :)

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  39. phataka..who else but you can come with sucha bold post :) by the way i must compliment you that your posts have become so much more interesting and well written !

    by the way i suggest a book called Superstar India by Shobha De..thats the only book i read authored by her, but it struck a chord !

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  40. ewwww, but very well written yaar, I am a new blogger but I have been reading blogs since a long time. Found yours today. Chalo bye for now. I am off to read your other post!

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  41. I used to witness such sights on the roadsides during my schooldays. But my 'friends', no 'bus companions' were sympathetic towards these uncles and aunties showing their trophied genitals to every passerby.. I always used to ridicule them, but never ever I looked at them the way you did ! And never ever did I know that we can have such funny perspective for such gross things!

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  42. This is cheating..!! Blogger ate my comment!!

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  43. Once again I am writing it-
    I used to witness such sights on the roadside while going to school.And I used to ridicule such people. But my bus companions were more sympathetic towards these uncles and aunties showing off their trophies genitals to every passerby!!
    I have never seen such gross things with such a funny perspective.I need to learn a lot from you..!

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  44. LoL.. But a point well made.. !! Why have I not discovered you before?? Amazing being here :)

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Spit It Out I Say !!!