Monday, 25 June 2012

SEX VEX


Sex is my favourite subject both theoretically and practically. My special inclination towards this particular field is genetically imbibed by my nervous system because I am an Indian. I am from the land which gave birth to the nomad sage who wrote the pain in the hole(s) ‘KAMASUTRA’. I mean I am pretty sure that he did not stick to a single yoga woman to practise all those intricate and sometimes life threatening positions but a variety of prostitutes which he choose fussily according to the body mass and spine bending each position demanded. There is even the possibility of the existence of inflated dolls even then or the usage of a skilled contortionist who is also a part time slut. 

It’s funny how the Indian culture proclaims to be least promiscuous culture in the world and it does so by shunning pre marital sex and claiming that all their daughters are tight sealed till after marriage. Yet it happens to be country which is ranked 2nd when it comes to searching the term ‘sex’ in Google. Sadly Pakistan took the 1st position but behold there is hope for there is always a next year!!

Majority of the MENkind in our country demand a sealed woman when it comes to marriage, while a major section of the WOMENkind who lost their V Card long before marriage to some ex flame, plan on squeezing their pelvic muscles tight and blame the spin bike sessions at the gym for not bleeding on the D Day! Why is sex such a taboo when it is the greatest entertainment known to man? Why is virginity an issue? Why should one save himself/ herself till he/she is tied into a lifelong relationship solemnized before the entire family and legalized by paper? Well yes, our culture says so and we should respect that.

Incest has always been a peculiar issue. I deem it to be an offence and contrary to the rules set by nature. But how did this entire taboo against incestual sex begin? There are customs which permit marriages between close relatives. History shows that incestuous marriages were widespread at least during the Graeco-Roman period of Egyptian history. Numerous papyri and the Roman census declarations attest to many husbands and wives as being brother and sister. Incest still happens behind closed doors and even if marriage happens by eloping, one never tries to find out the history of the relationship. My point is there used to be a time when same sex marriages or the whole concept of being gay was a taboo and contrary to the rules of God himself. Now it is deemed a human right by us to choose your sexual inclination and be respected for that. Will a time come when humanity will become so open minded that even incest would be able to come out of the closet? I pray NOT!!

I believe that the Sexual frustration among men is the highest in our country. Our moral police ministers watch porn while the assembly is in progress. Of the top 10 cities in the world searching for “sex” as per Google Trends data, eight are Indian. Why blame it all on the men when accept it or not, our women population are equally curious. Not that I have anything against watching porn! But why hide your interest in the subject? Why switch channels as soon as the ‘MANFORCE black grape condoms’ commercial starts? And if Indians are not sexually promiscuous atleast in their mind, then show it on the population count which is beyond galactic!!!

Now my brother is 16 yr old and this means that my mother is stalking him like crazy. The problem with my adorable mother is that her stalking becomes immensely nerve tearing, sometimes leading to delegation of her detective work to me. Why should I stalk my brother and report to her if my brother has been a naughty boy by talking to loose ladies online or visiting some porny sites? He is a growing boy and no matter how much you stop him, he will always find his way to what he likes. If he wants to watch, let him for he will one day get over it and if he doesn’t, good for him. What is so wrong in him being curious unless offcourse he wants practical lessons! Oh dear Lord!!

I think this post is getting a little too dirty and I don’t have the slightest clue as to what was in my mind when I started writing. But yeah! Here is a post finally. 

P.S- Been busy and don’t know with what. Life sometimes keeps you on your toes. Sorry for not keeping track of the posts on my blog list.
P.P.S- I am now a Law Graduate. Just can’t wait for the convocation! Jobless though….but not for long!!
P.P.P.S- Btw made Choco Lava some days back. I am Bloody proud!! :D


38 comments:

  1. Yayyyyyyyy Congrats ! and welcome to the Club sweetie.. (Read Advocates here:p)

    and for the topic ...Sighhhhhhhhhh* I sometimes just wish i were not born here..life would be so easy and fun then if you know what i mean:P

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  2. Leave sex... my upbringing is such that when my cousin calls her husband 'honey' in public I feel awkward and I literally hold myself back from telling her not to repeat such things public :-P :-P

    Now, am very up-to-date with the world but somewhere the society leaves such a heavy impression on your thought process that you just cannot adapt and change your ways that easily...

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  3. Oho, that was one helluva post. And I'm wondering what should I comment.

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  4. are we have tradition and all no, thats why ;)

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  5. Pays to have an anonymous blog... :P

    Sometimes i'm forced to shed my patriotic ways n think of moving abroad just for this kinda liberal thinking n living!

    You rambled a lot there, but it made sense since im going thru what you're going thru, in an astoundingly similar sequence of things:P

    Ramble on, young woman :)

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  6. regarding the post what should i say...sex seems to be good only in the ancient times according to indian culture.

    now the choco lava looks yummy ;)

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  7. That incestous thing reminded of an old dilemma. Adam and Eve, they were the only two humans created first, right? (You getting ideas, I know, I know). So, where did all this human race came from if whom they gave birth to was a community of brethren and pretty sisterhoods?

    Another thing that I was thinking, that India is still lagging a lot and it would be wrong to deprecate Indians for dismal performance at the googling of sex. You see, we are the largest population (after China, but they censor everything, so chinese people proxy sex) and still second. Which means, if we were to normalize data throughout the world on a per person basis, we might even slip down.

    And about Charaka, what can I say, polygamy was widely practiced way back then. Now, it is a taboo, because someone in the middle realized that there won't be enough to have a one to one matching in the future. Time may come when there are many Draupadi's and they are betting their extra husband with dismal performance in bed on a table of blackjack or poker. :P


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  8. Wah Wah.... I like what you write :D True, we are such...bunch of pretentious people... I tell ya. The same story is with my bro and mother, when it gets awkward, I skew the conversation, taking his side. :p

    PS: If you get employed, take me too...I am jobless. :P :D Missed you!

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  9. sex is my favourite taaaapic too !!!
    my friends have branded me a nymphomaniac..thanks to the abundant sprinkle of "the talk" i royally put in a lot of conversations.
    and then they tell me...waaaat you keep talking...

    whaaaaaaaaaa...i enjoy talkin about it..i mean..just because i talk and crack jokes about it..my horny quotient is out of this world ah..?
    hypocrites only no...?

    ppl will go home and watch and ogle stuff and do whatever they want to...but when they hear some girl talking about it in the open..
    they will like...errrrmmm..welll....*squirm squirm*

    pfftt...our nation is ruled by a bunch of hypocrites...what we will expect from the people..
    its actually sad you know..the land of kamasutra..and we try to portray as if we are one saintly gang..
    i mean...whats the harm in being expressive?
    in fact..i feel..the more parents are comfortable discussing about these matters with their children at the right age...the better it will be for the kids.

    SEX is portrayed as something DIRTY by our parents...and by the society.
    its not their fault as such.
    their upbringing was like that...so they have taught us what they were taught..

    hmmm..i guess its still a long way till we are more comfortable discussing about it with our family...well...our parents atleast..

    homosexuality is an individual opinion i feel..i am sure it would have been existent in the past era as well.

    aaaan..incest..hmmm..marriages take place officially between mama and bhaanji..and such other weird combinations...
    but yeah...things like oedipus complex syndrome and stuff..thats something very very difficult to digest..
    but i am pretty sure it does happen behind closed doors..in our country as well..

    basically..man if we go to see..is an animal..
    at some point or the other...lust does overtake the emotions..then things like...societal norms and the right & wrong...is very easily overlooked..
    hmm...the generation to come next..will have weird issues to grapple with i feel.

    ---------X--------

    okkkkkk....too much serious comment and all if i post..i will lose ze touch of ze meoww...
    blehehehe...weclome my RED louuu...
    thankyou for writing on me favvv topic...

    congratulations on graduation...*raising a toast to ze lawyer..*
    i know 2 lawyers now in ze blog world...oooo...thats so awesomeeee

    you made CHOCO LAVA CAKE !!!!!
    it looks so *droooooooooooooooool*
    mail me ze recipe molay...!!

    brilliant post only
    cheers!!

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    Replies
    1. So now isnt it our duty to train our next generation to regard n respect themselves n thier needs and not to shun the desires. . . N later cause any outbursts 🍻

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  10. Whattey comeback topic; trust you to do justice to anything you choose to write on and you never disappoint.

    The handicap in most Asian societies is the pressure to conform to what society/community deems righteous; even if there are people who decide to brave the tide - they end up being outnumbered and made to feel isolated - ultimately 'What will society think' triumphs over all.

    Its funny that the 2nd most populous nation in the world should shy away from discussing Sex related topics.

    Welcome back, can't wait to read more from you.

    Cheers :)

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  11. Pat on the back my girl! Only you could have written such a karara post :D Direct hit this is , no playing with words!
    The major problem with us Indians is that we are hypocrites. We would sneak in to have a good time before marriage and yet make a "sati savitri" like expression when someone openly confesses to have had relations!
    I think we have come to a time where marriage is no longer a sacred institution. I mean marriages get broken so very often and with this kind of independence and liberty we women have achieved, I think its time we get our sexual liberties too! When marriage itself doesn't guarantee life long companionship then why should we save for "the husband" if we have the "the right one" ??

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  12. Well...and then there are times you get stuck watching a week-long sex scene on 'Bade Achche Lagte Hain', with your grandmum. Time of my life, I tell you!

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  13. that was somte post!! But as usual - bang on target. We are the most hypocritic people in the world. We watch porn, we love to use suggestive steps in our dances, widely replicated by even kids, we have double meaning dialogues of every kind, and yet, we shroud it all with disapproving glances when in public! Wierdos I say! BTW - congrats on the lawyer thing!

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  14. WAAH-WAAH! Red doing what she does best-stating matter of facts in the coolest of ways. Not just sex but for anything-anyone must be given freedom to do as they like and as it makes them happy.

    Live and let live is the basic mantra that can save the world...
    Intriguing read-all the best with finding that job :-)

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  15. it s indeed sad that inhibitions are so inbuilt.. that one doesnt get to enjoy what is most enjoyable, specially sex!

    great write red
    totally agree with suru ..

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  16. oh yes, Hum hindustani hide bahut karte hain :P
    But then there is another side to it, we have a cultural that talks of respecting your elders and living by certain principles and morals and thats why 'condom' or 'prega news' advertisements are usually turned off.
    As for sex, well humans have been created that way and no matter how much you try to avoid this is but a natural and unconscious play of hormones. Although its high time that the society needs to realize it and accept sex as a biological need not a social taboo.
    nice post red!

    sarah

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  17. What do I say now?? Others hav said it all RED!!!
    well.. umm.. keep writing!!
    I soo love reading u... and U'v been missed dearly! ^_^

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  18. ROFL @ "pain in the hole(s)" witty as ever!

    okay listen as much as I want to read the entire post right now and comment too,I'm running out of time...have to of course come back and not only read this one but read the other posts too which I haven't...

    so hold on,I'm coming back,okie?

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  19. good point- if being gay is legalised wat abt incest in the coming years?

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  20. Glad to see a post of yours !! like always!
    Congratulations on graduating!!! and that choco lava cake does look yumm!

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  21. Cool one.. Thought u would have posted several blogs between May n now.. Thank God no! I'm up-to-date now..
    And Indian mothers.. I'm 27 and unmarried (happily!), my Mom throws several questions. before I go out on casual meetings with my friends..
    Blame none!!

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  22. Cool one.. Thought u would have posted several blogs between May n now.. Thank God no! I'm up-to-date now..
    And Indian mothers.. I'm 27 and unmarried (happily!), my Mom throws several questions. before I go out on casual meetings with my friends..
    Blame none!!

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  23. This is US.. HUMANS .. are we not .. I dont think I can add anything to what you have already written ..

    we are weird people i tell u

    Bikram's

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  24. The more children are kept away from porn and other sex related stuff, the more inclined and curious they get towards it.
    And men here, they want a virgin, while they themselves do what so ever they wish to! It's crazy why people are so uptight. Sex is an individual's choice. If someone is ready, they it's totally their choice. Though yes, it is better to wait.
    I loved your post!
    When my mum asks me to spy on my sister, I ask her to pay me for doing so. You should do the same :P
    The choco lava made my mouth water :D

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  25. Hahahhahaha, this is one hilarious post.
    I mean we Indians give too much importance to a topic with a lot of hush-hush tones...It is not fair man. Indian aaadmi k sar bahot pressure hota hai, and the tharak needs to be satiated.
    Oh, and the choco-lava cake looks yumm!

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  26. Wow, what an article!! Yeah, it's sadly true that India has the most number of sexually frustrated men and is a leader in the countries with highest sexual crime rates. Problem I tell you is with the basic education system here. Right from school time, boys and girls are made to sit separate. The hormones start malfunctioning right from then and girls are viewed upon as some 'thing' special. This is combined with no sex education @ home and changing-channels-during-condom-ad/english movies attitude. Dhishyum! There arises another sexually frustrated man out of the millions. From then on, girls would just be a 'thing' for him. It's SAD!! Very SAD!! Ours must be the most hypocritical country in the world. Ashamed to be an Indian these days

    P.S : Just read today morning that Kerala leads the sexual crime rates in India now. Wow!!

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  27. pat on your back. you really come up with some very interesting topics and a wonderful way of talking about them!!!! Love it...

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  28. great one....loved your writing...

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  29. Satire with a pinch of humour. I liked it.

    Regards,
    A Grain of Sand
    www.stutidhyani.com

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  30. Perfect ending for your sex post- the choco lava cake...!! And with regard to your brother- men have needs...women can live without it but for us it's more..umm...forget it! I am sleepless and your post ahem ahem..especially that brother part..will haunt me for several weeks!

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  31. First of all, I love Chocolava!!!! :D

    Coming to the post now :P

    An interesting read..u r very right, Indian men are eternally frustrated thats why India has tops in incest and related crimes..Sex is considered a taboo, though everything becomes valid behind those closed doors..hypocrite we..phew!!

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  32. Dude , this blog is absolutely wicked ..!! Just awesome, you are really nailing it here.!

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  33. Absolutely loved this post. When it comes to talk about sex ... we Indians are just too much fart and too little shit ... is what I think.

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  34. read this old post and was smiling broad :D
    I hope U never get to spy ur bro
    Good luck

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