Tuesday, 14 August 2012

THE ALMOST MAN



I happen to write this with a guilty conscience and a confused soul. I used to be the kind of person who supported the general notion that men remain rooted to a relationship until his woman hints him towards tying the nuptials. I never had a strong reason to back up my statement except for the melodramas my eyes had witnessed in movies since the time I had my mind ticking. But after licking dry the experience gathered in my 23 years of life, I have proved my hypothesis wrong.

When a relationship is true and when its depth is boundless, a man drowns in its sweet symphony and never dreams of being rescued. He goes in all lengths and fights all odds to just make it work with you. But a woman caresses her man with her unconditional love while living with the list in her mind about his faults and his shortcomings. She wants to see him grow and she wants to be a part of his growth.  She doesn’t want her Mr. Right packed and delivered but wants to be the one who manufactured him. She wants to be his mother, which later ruins their relationship.

I loved him for the man he almost was. The chemistry between us, the infinite love from both sides and his amazing virtues, made me believe that he is the one I want to invest my future on. I beautifully ignored the adjustments I was making because I was in love, pure and deep love. But my mind and my conscience revolted against my heart and pinched me now and then reminding me that adjustments where part of marriage not love affairs. Why be in a relationship when you feel guilty about it? Why force yourself to prioritize someone when you know your priority is something else.  Why settle in for the almost man for you with your adoration and your succulent love are just being a hindrance to his success. Men never grow until they are challenged and till you smother him with you adoration, he shall never grow.

Sometimes women think they don’t deserve Mr Right. I still think ‘what if I never find someone who loves me the way he did?’ or ‘what if the man I marry never trusts me the way he did?’ But now I have come to peace with this and have given the universe a chance to prove my notions wrong. I believe I deserve Mr Right and my almost man might be someone else’s Mr. Right. I was his ‘Almost woman’ for I was just slowing him down with my blind adoration. Our future just wasn’t linked.

But if only Mr. Right was as enticing as the Almost man. You my almost man will always be the one with my heart.

P.S- Sometimes I feel that I made a huge mistake, but most of the times I feel at peace for I don’t feel guilty anymore. But I don’t regret my past for it was beautiful. But I pray my future does not punish me for it.
P.P.S- “ As soon as forever is through, I will be over you” –TOTO
P.P.P.S- Not the humour post you looked forward to? Sometimes the soul needs to vent.

61 comments:

  1. I can't tell you how much i can relate to it.It almost feels like my life currently and your words. I am living exactly the same thoughts you mentioned above.

    The biggest fear in letting go of an almost man is the fear of not finding the perfect man.Its so comfortable to just settle.The most difficult choice is to move on and let the universe take control!

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    Replies
    1. i hate tht u can relate to this :(
      But life goes on! thanks for reading!

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  2. no body is perfect.Perfectness develops in a simple and unique way.

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  3. I did the same thing you did (I won't call it a mistake). I loved too much. And in that process, made so any compromises and adjustments, that at the end, I couldn't recognize myself. But the funny thing is, when I was making those compromises, It didn't seem like a big deal. It seemed like the most natural thing to do, because I was so much in love. The crazy, stupid things you do in love, I tell you...

    Things will be just fine, babe. Trust me when I say this. Your Mr.Absolutely Right For you will come along. Till then, enjoy the singledom. :)

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    1. what can I possibly reply this with :)

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  4. Been there done that.

    But my decision to break away was made easy by my realisation of 'his deceit'... If I had a hard time bouncing back, I imagine, you must be having what words cannot describe.

    But, I like your maturity and your control on self which will take you miles.

    Your last line, 'You my almost man will always be the one with my heart' has to and will change in time.

    Keep up your spirits.

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  5. Sometimes the right choices are the most difficult ones to make and considering you have not only made that choice but also written about it here makes me want to say ---> RESPECT.

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  6. Awww, two years ago, this was me. And I so hate the fact that I can so relate to this post.

    I spent 3 years of my life brooding over the almost man, and it took me nowhere. Its over, and its over. That's about it. Let it out, vent. Here or anywhere. It sure needs to flow out.

    I so loved the line "Men never grow until they are challenged and till you smother him with you adoration, he shall never grow." Could not be more true!

    Take care love, your Mr. Perfectly Right is waiting for you. And he needs you in full form, just like the Red we love :*

    Hugs.

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  7. The only tough part of life is making choices, i completely relate this to me and can say we both sail in same ship.. But life has to move on with new hopes, Hopes keep us alive..


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    1. hope mein toh duniya kaayam hai..isnt it?

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  8. RED..my love...sigh..us women..we are always always always like that no?
    how much ever we try to keep it dormant..the mother in us..somehow always comes up against all odds and ends up trying to perfect the Almost Man..i have gone through what you wrote...and it kills..it hurts..like no other..
    but darling..the best part about being a woman...
    the same heart that weakens us and makes a mess of our lives..
    amazingly helps us rise like no other and we MOVE ON!! we do..we all do..all of us here have been through serious broken relationships..and we have the guts to blog about it..that's our unfathomable strength..

    you will do well..like all of us..that beautiful phase of your life will always remain etched in your memory like a melancholy yet lovely poetry..

    i loved this line...
    “ As soon as forever is through, I will be over you”
    sweetheart...you will find your "after"... beyond the forever..and we are gonna be with you nonetheless..and your Mr.Right will be just that.. "YOUR" Mr.Right..
    keep smiling molay..

    cheers !!

    PS-mental wuman..making me all emotional..come gimme a hug now..*grins*

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    Replies
    1. i wont give u a huge reply..but u understand..HUGS!

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  9. dont they say there is someone for one always .. so when that right someone comes then the mr. rights or mr. who have been , or who ever wont matter at all ..

    one door closes opening another one always ... and I am sure that door is just there in the corner , and when u turn that corner you will see it Open :)

    all the best

    Bikram's

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  10. It is the typical case of one man's food is another's poison. The biggest challenge of letting go, is the fear of loneliness. Can understand. It takes guts and a lot of mental trauma to let go.

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  11. red,
    hehehe.. u hav been writin abt mr right n mr wrong.. whats happenin?? :P dont worry... u wont get mr.wrong or mr.right or mr.almost.. :P u wil get who u deserve.. :P

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  12. Mr. Right is always at the other end of the bridge, I would say..
    But in any case it does'nt really matter, bcos its all so transient, how much ever adorable, perfect and right , it may appear to be..
    Grow in love, shed scales, seek and grow more..

    When I was at the stage of life, where you are right now, I had taken an oath..
    I had then completed the five year law program, and shed the scales of a four year long committed love, tainted with suppressed regrets and expressed depths.. I swore then, that I will never again compromise my true self for anyone and I stand to it till date.. and I remain happy..
    Marriage is just about marriage, its not really bad.. But the challenge is keeping a freed heart and soul, inspite of the knot..

    Just adore the way you wrote this.. love you red

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    1. Compromising isnt a solution...yes adjustments during married life yes..but when u know ur priority is something else, u must let go :)
      love u back!!

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  13. @Red: *Hugs* You picked yourself up, and you are writing this! I know how you feel. I know those questions and fear the answers, but we know, how we move on. All of us. And you will too. :) :D This is the first step. Blessed Be! :)

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    1. Awww thanku MSM!! I dunno wht to say!

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  14. Just let the fond memories cherish the brain. That is all you could do right?

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    Replies
    1. sometimes the fond memories burn u

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  15. Oh, Mr Right just called... he wanted to tell u that he was letting fate prime u so that you will appreciate the awesomely super great times that are just about to happen to u....

    cheer up n get ready, Red.

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    Replies
    1. As soon as I die..be it hell or heaven...I am gonna sue big time!

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    2. Yes, ur undying sense of optimism is a total turn on. :)

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  16. Wishing you with all my heart that you find your Mr Perfect guy , or that he finds you... Cheers :)

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    Replies
    1. may ur wish b heard by God :D
      Thanks my lady!

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  17. Replies
    1. u used the term 'maybe' ...so thr is hope!!!!

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  18. It's okay to vent as long as it brings you some relief. You've shown some courage writing abut this and I'm glad you're picking up the pieces and starting anew *hugs*.. All the best Red! Hang in there! :)

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    1. Sometimes I just want to give u a blog hug :)

      There is a Mr.Right and someone who writes such honest n fun stuff doesnt need to have second thoughts about it :)

      And Babe----for a 23 year old----just live it up. Mr.Right for you must be right round the corner OR for all u know is Mr.Almost the one himself.

      Judge not---Analyze not-----Over-think not----And write loads----work out loads-----and party loads-----For that's what a 23 year old kick-ass-lawyer plus writer needs to be doing!

      Cheers.

      love,

      Madhusha

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    2. @ madhushala u and ur "mr right".. r u still hung up on that

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    3. @confused soul- aww thanku babe!!!!
      @Madhusha- "Judge not---Analyze not-----Over-think not----And write loads----work out loads-----and party loads-----For that's what a 23 year old kick-ass-lawyer plus writer needs to be doing!"
      I NEED THIS...HUGSSS!!!

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  19. red I have been someone who has been bad mouthing and propogating love ever since i came across it and have been shaking my head in disaapointment every time i hear people talk about how they fel in love .. i have my reasons for it ... and they are not some offspring of a bad experience they are logical deductions from general observation....

    however i felt very warm and close to you while reading what you said and it reminded me of someone ,,,u know i just felt like looking you in your eyes and telling you or probbly not telling you n ething just letting the silence and the compansion in my eyes do the talking smilling to ease the air cause dude my smile is sexy and probably hold your hand ,,,or may b hold you ... you know or may be marofy some chance on you now we wouldn want to waste such a nice oppurtunity would we loll just kidding ,,,!! i would never be able to tell my feeling out loud on such a big platform i always write those feelings mid way through where no body can understand the whole story :)

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    1. hahahah...opportunist eh? hahah cute only!! well I am still an optimist wen it comes to love

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    2. yes an oppotunist that i am ,,,!!1
      guilty as charged ...not so much of an opportunist as much as i would like to think of myself as someone who gets carried away by this softspot and so much warmth and love that he has towards women

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  20. all these comments do they feel warm or do they just seem monotonous and cold and irritating after a point of time loll ?? ,,,like ..yeah right everyone has gone through what you feel loll.. actualy silly question comments are always cherished in what ever form loll,/!!

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    Replies
    1. Comments r never irritating...sometimes not even warm...esp in such posts! u just read them!

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  21. I feel like I'm going to be that one girl who isn't as soppy as the others, and that it might make me sound stone-cold and what not. Apologies in advance, I've never been the girly kind.

    There are many "Mr. Rights" or absolutely none. But I've never liked "right". I don't know how people can stereotype as what is right and wrong. I've always believed that they are just perceptions. I've never loved too much so I can't ever tell you that I understand... but screw that.

    Sometimes you won't need a man, sometimes you will. Sometimes you'll need many. Just go with the flow.

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    1. thts the problem..sometimes women want personalities of different men in a single individual...!

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  22. Almsot man and Mr.Right? I guess Ive missed a lot ;)

    Cheers
    CRD

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  23. We all live with certain notions which may or may not be true. Also life has its own course and sometimes it is good to go with the tide. Don't think, just let the things fall in its place.

    I liked what and how you have written. Sometimes we all need some soul cleansing.

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  24. Since this is a soul-vent post, I won't say anything much, but jsut one thing, that if you could make that decision and move on, you got all my respects!! :)
    Hats off!! :)

    Now we want a typical, red handed post! Puhleeez!

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  25. Been there:P Be happy you took the right decision Red, you will not regret it:)

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  26. Red .... you took the right decision, dear! And it takes a lot of guts to do that. So chin up,and you deserve every bit of the happiness that awaits you!!

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  27. Oww Red, I hope the tough phase is over. *hugs*
    All will be well. This may turn out to be a good decision, may be a bad one, but what the hell, ultimately, whatever happens, its always for the greater good!
    Take care. :D

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    Replies
    1. I think the same. The greater good, the greater happiness :) Thanks love!

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  28. We all have this phase in our life where we fall, rise and learn not to fall again...Like how Bhagavat Geeta says, Sambhavichathellam Nallathinu...!! Prayers always with ya :)

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Spit It Out I Say !!!