Thursday, 6 September 2012

The Glory Of Indian Roads


Dear Jade,

 I am doing well and at awe with the glory that is India. Every aspect of this mesmerizing country amazes me be its people, the place, the culture or the living. But what struck me the most were the roads, for India with its roads provides you with an experience that no other country can possibly compete with, not even our homeland New Zealand.
          Indians are born with nerves of steel and a blind sometimes paralyzing faith in the supreme power. The ease with which an Indian nonchalantly crosses the road as a colourful unbalanced truck misses him with a gap of a skin, shows his valour. India has two kinds of jungles, the first being the real one and the other one being the concrete jungle. The country rather brings out a whole new meaning to the term ‘concrete jungle’. A 2km ride through the city behind my personal guide Mr Sharma, gave me a taste of the domestic safari. It is much like the real Safari that you and I took in the forests of Africa, the only difference being the swapping of wild animals with the domestic stray ones. Jade, the Indian’s believe in protecting not only the freedom of its plebeians but also that of its animals. As Mr. Sharma gave me an overview of the city with the drive, I spotted a buffalo sun bathing in the middle of the road while his lower half was being cooled by the muddy water of the pothole it had made its temporary getaway. We drove past a herd of cows who were grazing on the bushes which were grown I guess specially for their benefit on the road dividers. As the donkeys seemed to be pondering on life altering questions in the middle of the road, stray dogs were busy chasing piglets across the National Highway. People drove through whatever place was left, making random twists and jolts to escape the craters that I think were particularly designed to give us all a true safari experience.
          I wonder as to what keeps the Indians away from and winning sports events like the ‘World Dirt Bike Championships’. These men of steel with their nerve jittering escapades on the roads and their mastery on the techniques of survival can give the riders from other countries a run for their money. Jade, to drive in India requires skill which cannot be taught but has to be passed down the generation lane through genes. You are born an Indian rider, you never become one! There is but one rule that you need to know before trying out the Indian roads, and that is ‘Just survive it’. The Indians wince at the thought of using a helmet for not only does it hinder their highly fashionable existence but also seems to be a direct spit on their gallantry. Real soldiers don’t need body armour they say!
           Jade, do you remember the first lesson our parents taught us regarding the streets? The first rule of the streets is that when you cross it you first look right, then left, then again right and only then cross. Here in India such childish rules don’t apply. The mantra is to just believe that no one will hit you dead and have pure faith in mankind! But one thing I learnt is to drive atleast two metres away from the vehicle in front, for you never know when the driver or the passenger would find the need to build up their saliva and spit unannounced on the road, which sometimes the air carries towards your face. A vehicle on Indian roads needs just a few facilities apart from the basic engine. It only needs a steering equipment, a brake, an accelerator, a horn and a suspension to protect your spine. According to me there is absolutely no need for an indicator at all for it is beautifully replaced by striking out your arm a split second before taking a turn. 
          The Indians are so used to living in a populated country that they know how to share the little things they manage to get. This can even be seen on the roads. The number of people on a motorcycle or inside a car exceeds the actual weight of the vehicle itself, but such minor details do not hinder a true Indian. I now know how the Indian soldiers are able to perform the motorbike stunts I witnessed during the Independence Day parade of the country this time. I am also sending you some pictures for your enjoyment and understanding.
         My love, I have to stop my letter here for my time is limited in this truly intriguing country.  But before I quit the pen, I must tell you that we the people of New Zealand don’t know where our taxes have gone, but the Indians know where their taxes have been used. Just one look at the glamorous roads with its designed potholes is enough.

Thinking about you,
Samuel.  

The one during Independence Day...

P.S- Yesterday happened to be the most embarrassing day of my life. My maid caught me butt naked as she came upstairs unannounced to clean my room. Also the weighing scale at the gym showed that I lost 2 kg's. My joy knew no bound until my father declared that the weighing scale was declared incorrect. 
P.P.S- I want all my readers to make way for something healthy. Yes! I want you to include green tea in your diet. It tastes bitter but you do shed a few pounds :D
               

Image Courtesy- snagesh.com

48 comments:

  1. See you too are asking to "spit it out"

    is not tempting?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "But one thing I learnt is to drive atleast two metres away from the vehicle in front, for you never know when the driver or the passenger would find the need to build up their saliva and spit unannounced on the road, which sometimes the air carries towards your face."


      I hope this explains. :)

      Delete
  2. Red!!

    Please write more often. Missed you.

    Hilarious post. Loved it so so much.

    In other news I have put on weight. :-(
    Coincidentally I also have a maid story although not as interesting as yours. I got my maid sacked because I felt so uncomfortable by her mere presence. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks love!! Well if weight can be put on...it can also be reduced. Trust me it's not tht hard :)

      Delete
  3. You bet! When I travel all I see is my tax money scattered on the roads and people digging into it, causing pot holes.

    And lets not even get started on the balancing act!! Phew, this country will never change.

    Lovely post Red. A typical Red post ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. balancing act..looooooooooooool. I dont know why they show it at the parade.. wht is so heroic in that act!!

      Delete
  4. What an excellent portrayal of the sad picture. :P

    And good that you mentioned about the class of people who believe that it is their duty to embellish the roads by spitting at every nook and cranny.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good post RH...One thing I cannot stand is the incessant honking..
    P:S: Psst,Between you and me,does green tea work even if I don't work out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ooooooooooh how on earth cud i forget to mention the honking part!!!!!!!
      P.S- Well a little bit of balanced diet and 3 cups of green tea everyday, and sue me if u c no weight loss.

      Delete
  6. "sau mae se ninyanabbe beimaan...
    phir bhi mera bharat mahan"
    :D:D:D

    suddenly you become all gayab and then come up with an uporoar like
    this !!!write more write more..i will also write only..

    oooooo...your maid saw you in your birthday suit...??!!!
    bwahahahaha...cuteness only molayy!!!

    cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As I am typing this comment, my maid is sweeping nearby. So I wont laugh :P My birthday suit yessss :(((

      Delete
  7. hehehe.. :P
    super... nice letter...

    ReplyDelete
  8. does it really work, OK i will drink I need to lose a lot of weight ..

    and good ot see you back, you shud write often .. smiling is good for health too and your article sure make me smile :)

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It worked for me...but then again I eat balanced food with few junky modifications :P. I used to work out too but the effect I got one i included green tea...acted as a catalyst to weight loss.
      and I felt good to know that my posts have such an effect :)

      Delete
  9. hey welcome back Red!! Loved the post - and am a Delhi driver so you can imagine how well I connected with this one!! And btw - being in Fabindia has its bonuses - one of them is the Tulsi Tea in your pic - but does it really help weight loss? (hmmmmm....... )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Delhi driver??????????? RESPECT !!!!
      I dint know this was of fab india..I think its organic india. I dint buy this from fab India outlet. and tulsi green tea has only 35% green tea in it. so i bought the other one which is full green tea. its taste bitter so once in a while I drink the tulsi one :) and yes it does help shedding weight. but dnt expect a miracle. have 3 cups daily. with a balanced diet.

      Delete
  10. As I always say....LOLarious!!!!!:-D

    ReplyDelete
  11. Long time, Red! :) Nice post, as usual...and yeah this reminded me of an incident when I was at Bangalore when a cow became a show stopper at a super busy narrow road...repeated honking did not even alter its poise or determination. Some locals were actually staring at us angrily as they considered the cow sacred and was even seen praying to it and closing eyes in worship. Okay so cow is God but please pray at the temple not on a road !
    Thanks for the tip about green tea ! Tell me who is NOT gonna try that...even Kareena Kapoor wants to lose weight !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heeheheheh!!! The cows are such a menace no!!! and ditto about the green tea!!!!

      Delete
  12. dear samuel,
    my heart leaps with joy as i run my fingers over and over again your letter. and i cannot believe the simple effort you took to find an envelop thats looks so authentically tattered, wrinkled and worn. your attention to detail always wins my heart over.
    while mama said you deserve a special award for your gallantry, dad is planning on sending his uniform from the bomb squad.
    however, quite frankly, this letter still shocks me! when you returned from india three years ago, you said you would never go back again. and now that you have, perhaps you realise how passionate you are about wretched things, be that lovers or places.
    i am overjoyed that your indian trip has rekindled the spark in our relationship. even as you asked me to always move on, i knew you wanted me to come back.
    darling, as i mail this letter, i am hoping you will send that skinny little blonde you call your wife away. i am so touched today i wont let restraining orders and cops deter the course of our destiny!
    stalkingly yours,
    jade!
    [inspired by rose, 2.5 men ;), btw thanks for stoppin by, good to have you back!]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaah Loved the comment...could be part of the post itself :D..
      Love Rose right...hahaha epic stalker!!

      Delete
  13. LOOK WHO IS BACK, back again. i did not rea dthe post while commenting. good to see you back!

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol. and each state has it's own style of riding and driving ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. The animals on the road reminded me of Russell Peter's show!

    ReplyDelete
  16. "You are born an Indian rider, you never become one!" Epicness!!! very true..this post reminds of the precarious driving skills of KSRTC bus drivers.

    And yeah, spitting on the roads as if its their birth right is just so ridiculous...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The roads are considered as a huuge spiting plate only!!

      Delete
  17. "You are born an Indian rider, you never become one!" Epicness!!!

    This post reminds me of the precarious driving skills of KSRTC bus drivers :)

    And yeah, spitting on the roads as if its their birth right is disgusting and ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You said nothing about bikes and the way they jiggle their way through lanes like Messi does through the Real Madrid defenders. They know no rules. Its as if it's their baap ka road.

    Funny post

    Cheers
    CRD

    Blog updated

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How could I forget :( Yes the dirty bikers and the kids that take the roads as a racing track!!

      Delete
  19. Samuel seems to have been unfortunate to miss the experiences on a one-way street.

    "Just survive it" - Underlines the post.

    And I'm curious. Any specific reason to pick New Zealand / New Zealanders?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hheeheh no particular reason a all!!!

      Delete
  20. Hey,
    Congratulations.
    You have been awarded "The Versatile Blogger Award".
    Click on the link for more details.

    Take Care. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nice Article dear .. good one ..
    Thankyou for sharing this one ..!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I share the pain when it comes to driving.argh..
    Lol its ok..She has what you have,Be glad it wasn't a servant. *runs*
    BTW what's your new handle?I wasn't able to search you on twitter. - KhaaliBrain
    We missed your posts and you. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heeheh I am gone again :/ I think I have some mental issues :P

      Delete

Spit It Out I Say !!!