Sunday, 7 October 2012

The HEAD-HEART Conflict.......



It was past midnight when he caught the flicker on his mobile screen. A call from a number which was glimmering boldly across the screen. A number he once had deleted with a crushed heart and salty eyes. A number which he had tried hard to forget just like the person to whom it belonged, but all in vain. A faint smile escaped his lips as he gently ran his finger across the screen as if touching the woman who had burnt his heart. It’s funny when you cannot hate someone who left you shattered, he thought. He picked up the call after a few rings and decided not to make the first move. Never again, he promised.

She waited for his voice to calm her racing heart but was invited by a deadly silence. Her heart was the reason behind the call while her mind had been voting against it. But the heart was a little child who fell into temptations while the mind like a mature man could do nothing but watch. She decided to make the first move. For the first and the last time, she promised. Her voice broke as she tried to speak. She cleared her throat and softly said ‘Hello’.

He let her voice pinch his heart, as thousands of memories started reeling right in front of his eyes. He decided to remain silent and let her voice tingle his senses. She was in his town for a few days and wanted to meet him before she left. She continued speaking, while he pictured her face and the myriad expressions that touched her features as she spoke. He heard her asking him if 4’o clock in the evening was perfect for the meet. His mind like a prudent soul told him to bluntly reject her plan to suddenly meet him but before he could give it a second thought, his heart did the ominous work and said ‘Perfect’.

She was used to waiting for him and she remembered how his crooked smile would melt away her anger. He would blow her a kiss and wink foxily while taking a seat facing her. She had always wondered why he never sat beside her like the other couples did. The same café, the same time, every Saturday in the 4 years of their relationship. A ritual they followed until she decided to crush his heart and live according to the rules framed by the society and for the honour of her family. 3 years later, she was now sitting at the same café, at the same time waiting for the man she had tried to unlove. It pricked her that she couldn’t. 

He made his way and took a seat facing her, a place he preferred. This way none of her expressions would escape his gaze and her smile would forever be his to cherish. She was still the same for him, deep in his heart, but he realized that even with the sadness in her eyes she still was the most beautiful thing he had ever known. Silence prevailed and he decided to break the ice by asking her to place the order. He liked her to make the decisions and crushing his heart was one of them. He heard her telling the waiter “One classic burger without cheese or mayonnaise for me and Tuna sandwich with french fries and tomatoes on the side for him." He looked at her and smiled knowingly, for she was still the same woman he fell in love with. The fact that after 3 years, she still remembered the little things he liked, interested him but his heart continued pricking him moment after moment. 

She looked at him and couldn’t suppress the warm smile that glowed across her face just at the sight of him. She realised that happiness was stored in moments like these. A smile from him and her heart throbbed with the boundless love she had for this very man. A feeling she had tried to corner and subsequently erase but couldn’t. She let him speak and heard him telling her how his work gave him peace through the tough times. She couldn’t help but ask him to define the word ‘Peace’ and got lost in the philosophies he tried to put across to her. She smiled as she remembered the late night calls where he would talk to her about subjects so random and philosophical that she would unknowingly fall asleep. He would always apologize to her the next day and promise never to bore her again. She jolted back to reality as he said “So this is what Peace means to me. My work brings peace to me

It was dusk when they decided to part ways, again. She left for her hotel and he started walking back home. He wondered why she had wanted to meet him. It never occurred to him to ask her, for he was busy getting to know the things that happened in the three years they were not in touch. He decided to send her a message but then opted against it. His heart was cherishing the memories of this final meeting and he just didn’t want to ruin it. 

Lying on her hotel bed, she knew exactly why she had wanted to meet him. This time her mind and her heart were in symphony for they knew the purity of the emotion and the strength of the bond he and she shared. They knew time was just an excuse and that something with such depth could never be erased. She now felt calm as life finally started to solve the puzzle and she slept with a blank mind after a very long time.

A day after the meet and he still couldn’t erase her face from his mind. He had decided not to work today and spend the day alone at home just reliving the moment. Insanity that what this is, his mind reminded. A knock on the door and he opened it blaming the world for coming between him and his solitude. A familiar figure with the familiar smile he had worshipped for years stood in front of him.

She pushed him away and hurriedly closed the door. A tear made its way down her cheek as she hugged him. His mind asked a zillion questions while his heart knew all the answers. One look in her eyes and he knew she was here to stay. As they lay on bed, she basked in the smell of the only man she had ever loved. His arms around her, his stubs rubbing her cheeks and his warmth soothing her soul. She caught him sleeping while his arms were still wrapped around her as if he was afraid of losing her again. She nudged him till he finally woke up with a childish grunt and looked her straight in her eyes only to glow up realizing he still had her. 

She finally decided to ask him. “So define the word ‘Peace’ for me again” she said. He smiled and pulled her closer, kissed her gently on the lips and then closed his eyes to sleep with her still in his arms. He now knew what ‘Peace’ was. “I am now at peace”, he softly said and went back to sleep.





P.S- Not the usual dose of humour right and bloody long right? Well I am in an Emo mood right now, hence this post. Fictitious writeup only.
P.P.S- It’s funny how priorities change with time. The people remain the same but the feelings disappear. Strange!
P.P.P.S- Been busy with life and tired of making every post my come back post. I don’t know when I will post next. Soon or never. Battling a screwed up mind.

75 comments:

  1. stunningly beautiful.. brought tears and memories to me..

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    1. m glad :) Thanku for being the first to read

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  2. Change is sometimes for the better

    Different isn't always bad

    Stay Blessed ^_^

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  3. WOW. This was so unlike you. But who is complaining? Not me.

    Enjoyed reading the emo you. Very nicely portrayed.
    Romantic and all.

    <3
    Sonshu
    www.thesonshu.com

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  4. You would find it funny, but this post tugged so much at the strings of my heart, that's it's racing like crazy. How we try to squelch the feelings that threaten to take over all the time. Love this one Red, totally.

    I would say this is perfect comeback. With something different. :D :) You were missed.

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    1. You wer missed too!! well this post tugged every string of my heart as I wrote too :)

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  5. Sigh. Wish I could say so. I am finding peace in work and writing still.

    We all have battles ♥ it's okay at times...

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    1. Maybe when we stop finding...we will attain it.

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  6. Best of luck with the battle...:-) Hope to see you soon..

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  7. If you can come up with stuff like this when your mind is screwed up, I hope you stay that way. Yeah. Selfish me.

    Excellent narration.

    (Remove captcha verification, please.)

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    1. I dint have captcha befoe...but then i started allowing anonymous comments and bots started commenting :/ I am so sorry!

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  8. I was reminded of a song, Phir Le Aya Dil- Barfi.
    What a lovely write! :)

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    1. Ah cute of you to read this one :) Thanku!

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  9. Loved it Loved it Loved it, you have perfectly captured the feeling of a heartbroken man and a heartbreaker woman :D

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    1. Thanku soooo much!! I tried my best :)

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  10. You were in race of marriage I thought.

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    1. not anymore...maybe find a bit of self love first :D

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  11. This is just so intense! Its strange how we terribly miss even the most regular things in love when we are apart :( You are a brilliant writer Red !

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  12. I landed here thinking this would be another crap just like your other posts :-P But to my surprise I am really reading somethin beautiful here for the first time.. Rest of the time I was just entertained but this time its lovely :)

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    1. Thanku very much :) But like I said, maybe you shud discover more :D

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  13. NEVER Say NEver.. take ur time , sort out things and then Blog all the best ..

    and let me second a comment above .. if this is what you come up when the mind is screwed up then I am really looking forward to a article when it is not so screwed a masterpiece .. So again jsut for this reason dont say never ..


    Take care of yourself and all in good time

    Bikram's

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    1. Ok I take back my words.. I shall write...but when my mind is a bit clear :D
      Thanku so much for reading!

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  14. I could relate to the feeling. Some people leave deep rooted feelings that whatever they do we cant hate them. Ever. Everyone has atleast one such person in their lives I believe!

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    1. Yes...if only the rains could wash the memories away :)

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    2. It does only in a perfect world :-(

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  15. Very well written emo post. Btw, i like this type of post. Hope to see you soon, Red.

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  16. Wow .. very beautifully you conveyed your emotions in words .. Your this post touched me ,i checked it out your blog nd i really liked it, i also read your this post ~ don't call me aunty nd it was too good ..
    So i am latest follower ..!!
    Smiles..

    Way2express ~~

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    1. Now now!! Welcome to my crazy little blog. :)

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  17. There's almost always a conflict between one's heart and the head. This post is almost fairy tale like and instils hope in this otherwise ruthless world where things lost are forever lost, even if for the best!

    Its nice to see a positive ending where love is strong enough to win against the battle between the heart and the head even after the passage of so many years. :)

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    1. Fairytale it is meant to be....for I dont think a person is strong enuff to implement this in real life. I hope I am proved wrong :)

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  18. wish this happens to me! waiting...for peace!

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  19. if the person is strong enough, next thing is sacrifice, u do or get it done, how many u can hurt?....love has a curse to remain within walls of our mind it seems..

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    1. With the last line...I couldne agree more

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  20. It does ring some bells. But often, if there is a three years gap, people move on. Or in most of the cases, one of them moves on and the other still has strong feelings.

    Breakup is a strange thing. It lets you hate the people you loved in the first place. The same time, it gives you time to retrospect the things you yourself have done wrong and feel guilty about it. It will always be a bitter sweet symphony!

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    1. Oh i cudnt agree more to the last para of ur awesome comment... The guilt!!!

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  21. This is beautiful and you write well in this genre as well. You should write more often...

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    1. I shud..I knw :(( Thanku sooo much!!!!!!

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  22. That was beautiful, Red!!! An emotional post written with loads of imagery..... Nice.

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  23. so well written and relate to it a lot...

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  24. By the way I apologize for not being able to log in to blogspot coz of hectic routine. :( Hence I created this Fb page to stay connected with bloggers. https://www.facebook.com/PearlInDarkness?ref=hl kindly join it if you think pearl in darkness is worth :)

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  25. Very beautifully written.. Could visualize the story . . . Lucky that they got back... Not every story ends this way . . .

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    1. Sadly not every story does like u said!!

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  26. lady, sorry for commenting late. nice write up, miss the red handed punch though. whatever it is you are going through, shall pass too. hang in there :)

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    1. Yeh the punch is missing...and it shall be back soon. Help me with some ideas!!!

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  27. louvveeeee ....!1 so much louuvee you know ,,,farom wher ??

    dude mushy is my thing my blogs name is mushroom for god's sake ,,,see i don't want to ruin your post by my crapy praise but it did evoke that warm gushing feeling in me ..!!

    i think about you you are one of those practical girls who doesn't really regret hving given up love (i know you have given up love )but still wants to be in love with the want of being in love ,,you dont actually want to be in love ,,, but you do like the idea cause it gives you a high ,,,!!that warm giving feeling that you as a women want to have but you as prctical women doesn have

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    1. U crack me up everytime with ur comment. Thanku AMNNNNNNNN...!! :D
      nd I dnt knw wht I am....maybe that life...figuring urself out..and by the time u have..boom u r dead!

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  28. This is so very well written. A fan of your writings indeed!

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  29. still the same great writer, and still the same great blog i was and will be stalking as long as blogger is still alive. . .

    Hats off again and again. . .

    =)

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    1. U made me smile lady!! I appreciate the generous comment :) Thanku!

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  30. Why would you not post some more? Especially when I am deciding to be a regular reader here, haha.

    I loved this post. I cannot wholly, but slightly relate to the emotion. So even the cathartic effect isn't really very strong. But nevertheless, I loved what I read. Please keep writing. :)

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    1. hahaha...Now i have a reason to write more. Thanku !!

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  31. Where had she been to anyway? :O

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  32. Aaah :) Looooveedd reading this one :) Emo yes, but definitely not out of place

    Keep writing :)

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  33. Liked the way it ended and also liked the way u have written it. :)

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  34. Gawdd..this post is so close to my heart :(

    you write so wonderfully :)

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    1. And you are being a sweetheart :) Thankyou milady!!

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  35. Jut chanced upon your blog today. Really interesting stuff - you have a new follower!

    Now I found this particular post of yours on similar lines as a fiction series I recently concluded on my blog. See if it interests you :)

    http://welcometomyparadise-angel.blogspot.in/search/label/Eyes%20to%20my%20soul

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  36. Kindly make amendments to the post as per contest rules to be considered valid.

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  37. Lubbly post, Red. Wonderfully romantic and ai yam yin a good place now.

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Spit It Out I Say !!!