Saturday, 15 June 2013

EXCUSE ME, IS MY UMWELT SHOWING?



I remember my father once telling me “To understand the actions of others, look at the world through their eyes”. A clueless biologist shouted ‘UMWELT’ and there my vocabulary found a new word for the philosophy my father had tried to inject in me. Though it sounded poetic and incoherent at first, I did spend a fair stint of my childhood trying to comprehend as to why the world and its people acted in such mysterious ways.

Why does our Prime Minister never speak? Strong proof to the contrary has made us strike out the possibility that he is mute since birth. But Instead of throwing verbal stones at his self imposed handicap, let us seal our mouth with duct tape and look at the world through his beady eyes. Maybe he is exercising his Miranda Rights. Maybe for him the world is one messed up court room where everything he says would be taken against him, with Soniaji being his most trusted advocate. Who knows he might be suffering from Selective Muteness, much like our own Raj from the epic ‘Big Bang Theory’

Another tortured creature is S.Sreesanth and I still do not quite understand why we are so angry at him. MCOCA danced on the hard work of the Delhi Police and he is now out on  bail. But let us for now imagine Sree did what we assume he did. I am sure none of his match fixing gimmick would have actually contributed towards the outcome of the game. My heart weeps for him for he was not only pitiable in his bowling, but also lacked the intellect required to do spot fixing ingeniously. If only we could channel all the hatred that we hold against him to actually look at the whole issue through his innocent perspective. Picture him sitting alone in his locker room, counting the number of religious chains on his neck and wondering as to what went wrong in the field. Why and how did his fellow cricketers bag endorsement contracts for big brands while the few products he got to endorse was a South Indian Ayurvedic joint pain massager, or being a sidekick to Riya Sen in a jewellery ad, a split second of an appearance in the Kingfisher Campaign and a few other failed endorsements? Even his restaurant chain ‘The Bat & Ball Inn’ tasted dirt.  Much to his dismay, women too kept away from his attitude and the world was just too hard on him. Spot fixing might have been his secret getaway.

Kapil Sibbal chose the wrong career for the job of a movie or food critic suits him better. Through his eyes, the world looks like a giant deformed potato and everything associated to it is highly improper, thus requiring his constant criticism and brilliant modifications. The critic in him had to play with the education system and felt a massive need to improve the 12th standard score of the kids by allowing only the top 20% cream students to be eligible to write the prestigious IIT exams. When they had enough of him, they made him the law minister, much to the horror of the judiciary. Who knows he might promote the passing of a new act called the ‘Social Networking Inspection Act (SONIA)’. It’s not his fault, it’s his ‘UMWELT’.

We live in India, but each one of us looks at India through a radically different perspective. For a socialist, India is a huge party with gossips flowing from all four corners, while for a Politician, India is nothing but a game of chess where he has to either kill or be killed. For the ruling party, India is Utopia where everything is perfect and progress is a daily thing, while for the opposition, it is a paradise gone wrong where every living soul is denied his rights. For Pakistan, Kashmir is a treasure island, while for India, Kashmir is nothing but a bet it cannot afford to lose. Through all of this are the soldiers of both the countries sacrificing their lives for a cause unclear to them and the Kashmiris suffocated by the malice that has found its place in their divine land.

This makes me highly jealous of the animals, for they are all loyal to their species and look at the world through one shared perspective. The Gods must have been crazy indeed to have given us a luxurious personal bubble world i.e our umwelt, consisting of our individual dogmas, spiritual beliefs and values, while he cleverly forgot to give us a bit of humility to understand the varied tenets of others sharing the space with us. While the world is busy launching satellites to understand the possibility of life beyond our galaxy or trying to decipher the language of the dolphins with the help of fancy toys; the nations are busy throwing missiles at each other due to non compliance of agreements, and the leaders of different religions are busy warning the homosexuals about the little place that is reserved in hell just for them. If only we had the nerve to step out of our way of thinking and look through the perspective of those we claim are at fault.

Because there is nothing more tragicomic than trying to speak to the dolphins when you are unable to understand those who belong to your own genus.

P.S- This is an article I submitted for an Epic contest organized by 1 Hundred Works . I  beg want you all to show your generosity by liking and commenting on the link given below. I do require them !!!! If you do so, you are awesome. If you don't, my black magic awaits you!  

37 comments:

  1. Just wow!!! This is the best post I have ever read on the blogger till date! It's sarcastic, it's true, it's balanced, it's everything what a great read should be. On the scale of awesomeness, I'd happily give away thousand points to this post!!

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    1. You kbow ppl seldom read and long post. And ur comment proved that u actually took the pain to read. I am glad and thanku Boss!! Btw make it even better for me by clicking on the contest link and commenting under the post. That wud give me an edge :)

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    2. I-HEARD-YOU is so right. Making fun of so many people together surely makes it awesome.

      My favorite part was when you said that India is utopia for the ruling party :-) Really original and genuine and funny at the same time!

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  2. Okay, first of all twas awesome.

    Now, I was actually reading it as if I were in a debate on the topic. The tone of the write-up was like that.
    And more over, I am already awesome and you know it. Don't tel me you don't. Or at least now that I liked this post, I am added to the list, right?

    Well, Take care and keep writing such awesome posts.
    Wait, did I mention that you are awesome too?

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    1. Heheheh Too much awesomeness on your comment. Thanku boss..and u wer already on the list. But to make u more awesome..cud u pls visit the link n comment thr.It wud gove me an edge. Its my first contest.

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    2. Well, you know I am awesome and awesomeness comes with a package, you see. Hehe.
      Yeah sure.
      I went to that link yesterday and thought it would be same here and there. So left a comment here.
      But well, I want to be more awesome.. so heading there now. :D

      And first contest you say? This itself is breaking the threshold line for Awesome, I wonder how the future posts will be. May be they just have to raise the standard of Awesome or come up with an equally qualify-able term.

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    3. Thanku..U R UBER AWESOME!!

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  3. Great post. I feel u on how the ruling party lives in a Utopia while the opposition sees everything as gone wrong. That's how I feel about my country. I wish more people would shut up and put themselves in another person shoes... U got my vote!

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    1. Thanku soo much FOR DROPPING BY :)

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  4. Hmm so true. I read it in part yesterday, but didn't have enough time to give justice to the full post. Read it and enjoyed the truth , satire and sarcasm.. :)

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  5. umwelt... nice post! but can I be heretical in saying this one lacked the usual umph your posts have?

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    1. Ouch! Chalo atleast u r a loyal reader. Hum khush hue :)

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  6. I remember Umwelt from cognitive psych. Really interesting theory and way to see the world.

    Also, don't be jealous of animals. There are tons of horrible, horrible things they do to each other (within species, within relatives, etc. etc.) that makes me glad I'm a human. ._.

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    1. hahahaha looking at the picture from your point of u..even I am glad! Phew!

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  7. Best post I have ever read in my life. It imparted some kind of gyaan in me which I have never looked up at before. Liking and sharing :)

    Until later,
    Keirthana :)

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    1. Babe plssss do something..I am still nt able to check ur blog out!

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    2. Sorry dear, had not checked your replies since I was reading your posts off my feed reader. I am not sure why it is not opening for you except in chrome. I checked myself and with a couple of friends, it is working fine. :(

      Hope you are going by the direct link below:

      http://www.keirthana.in/blog

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  8. Ok, I was unable to like the post at that link as I do not have a WordPress account but have left a comment instead. Please don't unleash your black magic on me, Ms.Red Witch(I'm imagining someone like Emma Watson here ;-))

    When speaking about umwelt the only thing that comes to my mind is the lotus. Even though it grows in the swamp it managed to become the National flower for the second most populous country in the world. :-)

    And like I said at that link, I agree with what your dad says, “To understand the actions of others, look at the world through their eyes”. But what if they have shitty vision.?? :P

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    1. hahahahahah shitty vision...hahahahaha..Then we buy them some glasses. :P
      Thnks man!

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  9. Ok...Great post, Red! Loved the Sibbal and Sreesanth part;) So, you do black magic? Scary!!! Good luck with the contest, dear ;)

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    1. Hhahaha..I can always use it for my benefit even if I dnt knw shit abt it :P

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  10. A new word added to my vocabulary. Unfortunately, the human species has too much of brains to be content with what it's supposed to do.

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    1. Glad you felt that way boss! Thanks!!

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  11. Sreesanth had started a restaurant? I didn't even know that. :0

    Great post, Red!

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    1. Ya man..it was even at ur place in Bangalore. But it fell!

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  12. You really know how to blend a post in the perfect manner :)
    Good luck with the contest :) We want a party if you win :D

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    1. Hhaha and U will get it fo sure!!!!

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  13. This was as if summary of current state in India served with a pinch of humor! Nice!

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    1. Thanks man!!!! Welcome to my blog :)

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  14. Hahaha. I really envy your style. I know I am epeating the same thing for the...18th time? But yes, this post was brilliant. It's a task to read a long post but then there are posts like these which are too good to skip any word while reading.

    "Umwelt" - hmm, interesting bit of info right there. I guess it's good to let it show sometimes. But it must be pretty difficult to comprehend the umwelten of others, yeah? But you did a fairly good job up there. ;)

    Keep writing, Red Handed (yes, your pen name is definitely 'cool'). I love your posts. :D

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    1. Well the envy is mutual.. The way you express ur thoughts so beautifully is an inspiration :)

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  15. I began reading this expected a lovely chatpata feminist tale and look what I get!
    It does make sense though to think of it from their side as long as in the end they bow to the superiority of my views because I'm right.No questions asked.
    And um, welt I couldn't do the liking part since I do not own a Wordpress account and this is the only way I can show-off my PJ-making tendencies but all my good-luck wishes go with you!
    :)

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    1. Hhahahah and thy PJ'S are welcome!!!!!! Thanks babe...Dont get bored of me :P

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  16. oh m i late in commenting :-(...i loved this piece..its an intelligent post filled with humour to keep the reader engrossed.

    As always, thumbs up Red!

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  17. This was wonderfully written. I will definitely show my support by going over and liking and sharing your link. Good luck with the competition!

    http://online-phd-uk.co.uk/

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  18. loved this piece gal.....superb....

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Spit It Out I Say !!!