Saturday, 28 September 2013

A HOMO ME?????


Homosapiens and Homosexuality have that little ‘Homo’ in common. Does that in any way mean that there is a little Homo person hidden inside my skin somewhere?? 
  
Back in my early school days, when life was innocently wrapped in a green pinafore frock and when black ribbons where the smartest thing ever, the bird and the bee were never of the same gender. A boyfriend had a girlfriend while the girlfriend had a boyfriend and the rest like me where stealing 2 Rupees out of dad’s pocket for a daily dose of samosa from the school canteen. Life was not complicated in any sexed up way.

I was in 7th grade when I had a massive fight with my tiffin friend and was forced to find myself a new friend to share my tiffin box with during the school break (When your mother gives you idli chutney almost every day for lunch, you need to find new means). And there on the school playground I found my new tiffin friend in the form of a fair girl, wearing a longer pinafore than mine and socks held firm to her middle calf with the help of rubber bands. So amazingly smart!!!! The rubber band technique for the socks was a sure winner in my books. She let me have her lunch, gave me rubber bands to keep my socks high and sometimes even bought me 2 Rs sip-ups during the summer days. She was everything I was looking for until I was proven otherwise one Friday the 13th. It was the school craft exhibition and she held my hand as I displayed the flowers I made out of Old milk packets to the parents visiting the exhibition. Though I felt quiet weird about it, I let her do so for she had promised to buy me a samosa later for lunch. Yes I was a food slut (ignore was). But I will never forget how later that day she asked me if she could come to the toilet with me because she wanted to be with me everywhere I went. Hell broke loose and with a force greater than all the avengers combined, I fled back to my old tiffin friend and dumped this girl out. Sadly the routine smuggling of 2 Rs from Dad’s pocket was initiated yet again.


I still remember how once during our school assembly, I fell sick and decided to go sit in the classroom and silently chew on the Methi Paratha that my tiffin friend had got on that day. But what should have been a guilty indulgence turned out to be my first real life kiss experience. Real life being mine and kiss experience being between two other girl classmates of mine. I stood there watching them because you got to be kidding me if you say that you wouldn’t. Hell, two girls were kissing behind the class cupboard!!! SPICY!


Have you ever been attracted to someone your own gender? Not attraction in the form of wanting to hit the bed with them but in a way that you would want them to talk only to you? Some crazy crush way. I had this super girl crush to this macho chick in my class. It was around that time when Amrita and Isha Kopikar’s Girlfriend movie hit the Bolly and the Bajrang Dal guys had made Poster tearing their vocational sport. Lesbianism became a huge topic and I suddenly thought I was a lesbian. Such was my devotion towards her. I used to be on bed and imagine myself touching her. And then I would go barf my guts out. I even watched a few lesbian kisses on youtube and no I would never kiss a girl or knead her Pompoms! I was a confirmed non lesbian.


During college life after being almost kissed by a lesbian hostel maid, after being pinched on the butt by a chick in the bus and after being winked at by a woman traffic police, I am all cool with this whole Gay rave! In this time when being gay is the new Fashion, where being a lesbian makes you a rebel, thus super cool and where everyone wants a new gay best friend, I guess it’s time I brought my apologies out.


Dear dumped tiffin friend, I am sorry for being such a jerk. I wonder where you are these days and whether you finally found a chick who would let you inside the toilet. I apologize for dumping you. We could have remained friends (without the added benefits).  And I really do miss those free samosas.


Dear classmates I caught in the middle of a feisty behind-the-cupboard make out. I apologize for spreading the gossip in the whole school which eventually got you both suspended. One of you recently got married (to a guy) and is my facebook friend. Thankyou for those frequent facebook pokes.


That said, who knows what happens next. I support the whole concept of being gay for it’s a personal sexual preference. But would you have accepted it like say 50 years ago? Would you hit the streets to support its legalisation? This makes me think, what if incest becomes a cool thing after say 30 years. Are our moral stands breaking loose? Feed me your thoughts!!



P.S- I ordered a cake to celebrate my parents silver marriage anniversary. Thank God it was not 'WAR'.








83 comments:

  1. That was a ....umm.. delightful picture of your childhood.

    Our morals are just getting a revamp adding some of the things that we never had thought a 50 years back.
    I was just wondering what their child might have to see and what impact it will have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for being the first to read!!!!!
      And yes I wonder what the children might go through!

      Delete
  2. Wow. It takes some whatever to write the way you write. I had a wonderful read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha Thank you! Welcome to the blog!!!

      Delete
  3. It could have been that she was overly attached and stuff to you... that ditched tiffin friend you had. But on a very very serious note, who gets idli chutney every day! my ama scolds me when i ask for it twice a month! also the cake looks nice, any way I can have a slice?

    this gay thing is ancient... and i mean Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnncient! so yea, it will work out its own course. it was good then its bad, then its good, then bad... so yea, any how

    why are there so many females confessing to liking other females... just the other day my coworkers, one a woman and the other a tweed were drooling over this aunty. i have yet to see a single dude was dude that dude is hot... seriously!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree...This crush thing is more prevalent among us females. And yes maybe the tiffin friend was just overly attached...bt jeez I wasnt!!

      Delete
    2. judge sahab!!!! the cake has been avoided completely... ye nainsafi q! mjay insaf chahiya judge sahab!!!

      Delete
  4. Hahaha..cool picture..I hope no one complaint about the cake :P

    This post reminds me of myself during schooling days..Our school is one of the famous school that's always associated with lesbians (even till today).. Being a girl,i too had a massive crush with a lady prefect ..Oh my god she was just too beautiful for my eyes.. And during my college time, I had deep affection towards a girl and whenever other girls are close to her,I would feel so jealous..

    Well ..that's the story of my past :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhaha my parents did not even notice the spelling error!!! and I hear you girl!! Girl crushes are sooooooooooo common!

      Delete
  5. Hahahaha Though it was actually a serious topic but the way you've put it up is brilliant as always. :)

    Nope, I never had such crush. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U NEVER HAD???!!! I shall pray that you get it soon :P

      Delete
  6. I love the way you write, you're simply hilarious! And I think it's difficult for any girl not to have a girl crush.. You can just stare at a girl and be in awe..I guess we're just that pretty! :P

    And I totally support this as well..anybody can love whoever they want.. Although incest does seem a little odd to me, and again, it causes genetic problems for the products of it, so yeah. *Sigh* who really knows though...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you too!! :D
      and yes I am totally against incest but who knows what the future mentality holds for us!!

      Delete
  7. wow... this makes me realise that I went to an extremely heterosexual school... (not even one suspected homo in all 12 years in that school)...

    ... and that then I went on to an extremely asexual college (i.e. number of people trying to make out could be counted on just ten fingers)... ha ha... my life...

    -Vidhya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well may your future be a spicy mix of lesbian encounters and other escapades :P

      Delete
  8. I guess every girl had a girl crush atleast once....may be that is healthy too..I remember being a fan of a girl in a boy cut who walked like a boy in my all girls school. I hope that doesnt count because I may have liked her because she was like a boy ! Well in my college days I had a senior girl opposite my hostel room who was like... u know...kind of abnormal. But I never talked to her. However by the way she looked at me I knew something was seriously wrong !! :D :D I am laughing right now you brought back so many memories ! And the pulling up socks with rubber band I almost laughed out loud...!! (I'm in office whenever I am reading your posts) ...Well Great post again..You are so open minded and it reflects between the lines. So cool!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I am just glad you laughed. Office tension needed a bit of that you know!! I still believe that pulling the socks up with rubber band was a pure genius act. hehe!

      Delete
    2. Nono ! Not genius that ! It slows down blood flow in that place ! :D :D Well nothing happened to you so there ! It is genius :D

      Delete
  9. :) beautiful writing. reminded me of my college days.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well, such a sensitive topic handled so well and that too humorously. Typical Red. Thumps up for that. :-) This makes me think, in men, unless one is genuinely interested in other men I don't think most men have a man crush. I could be wrong here, for all we know may be men aren't so forthcoming as women in accepting it or talking about it. But this is my observation.

    And also I can't help but wonder if so many women were interested in you, how many men have you got following you.? :D I'm pretty sure not only will you make a cool judge but a sexy one too. ;-)

    And talking about incest, will it become a fashion.?? I don't know. But if you ask me, I hope it doesn't. Not based on any moral standards as I don't want to judge the morals of any others. But purely on a biological basis, its a very bad thing. Look at how Joffrey Baratheon turned out. A complete ass-hole. :P

    Also some kind of love are purely asexual. Let us keep it that way. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now you just made me feel like Penelope Cruz....hahaha with a huge fan following. If only :(
      Apparently lesbians are super attracted to me not normal guys. :(

      Delete
  11. Oh I loved this post. You are one brave woman to expose all these ladies. I don't want to reveal any lesbianism (mine or someone else's!) on blogger. But these tales are so interesting. Being straight means no fascinating stories :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh u r one lucky person to have seen such things in school days itself! well, our girls hostel too did hover with such stories at times but nobody kinda paid much attention to them back then ( i wonder why :/). And my coaching institutes warden too was accused of being a lesbian and girls did tell her stories to me but could never be lucky enough to grab a first hand experience of witnesses such 'shows'. now that i read you, am curious about it again :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too bad you never got first hand experience...Ok actually I am so glad you did not!! hah!!

      Delete
  13. I agree that being gay has been the "in" thing. I mean everyone has a homosexual crush while growing up but it just is a phase. I think we grow up and discover that we are NOT homosexual. These days people don't wait and just proclaim proudly that they are "GAY" and it is their right. I wonder how many of them discover themselves later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SO VERY TRUE MAITH!! Actually teenagers are so confused these days, they dont even give themselves the time to figure stuff out!!

      Delete
  14. A typical "red handed's" blog post. The subject itself is a taboo; even in this www era where everything is just a tap or click away. We all always has such people around of this homo nature. Just with changing time they started to surface and let others know about their real identity. Even I have some friends, gays and lesbians. They are very much normal like us.
    Posting as anonymous coz I don't want that they know their best kept secrets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What matters is that you commented. So glad you read!! I have some friends too who are homosexuals!! I respect that!

      Delete
  15. loved this post, beautifully written,.

    ReplyDelete
  16. :) I have lots to say.. but I won't.. :) Same sex love is beautiful ;) ofcourse not "hitting the bed" kinds... but it's beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hehehe I so wish you could elaborate :D
      But thank you for reading love!!

      Delete
  17. Apologies for concentrating more on the Methi Paranthas and the samosas. Its an honest brave post.
    About homosexuality, to each his/her own. Frankly the thought of incest being a cool thing scares me. Certain norms are a great cushion against deviations which can have undesirable repercussions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It scares me too. Talk about genetic disorders or not, what actually scares me is the change in the emotions. Hope the future generation never gets too broad minded!

      Delete
  18. Hehehe, what a beauty this post was :). You rock, my love (no intentions attached) :P

    Pompoms... Hahahahahhahahahahaha :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhahahahahah Ok I love you! (no intentions attached)!!!

      Delete
  19. Spicy Read, Red. Reminded me of the Joey-Ross 'homo' conversation. BTW, you are one lucky soul to have witnessed two girls making out at such an odd place-kinkiness of the highest order. I was literally doubling up reading your afterthoughts about 'kissing a girl and kneading her pompoms'. (BTW its 'kneading' right, it is sacrilegious to get such stuff wrong you know ;)). Serious topic rendered with panache in the typical Red way. Way to go girl.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I CHANGED THE ERROR!! And u know what, it is seldom that I come across people who actually read a post patiently to notice errors...I respect you for that!!! Seriously Thank You!

      Delete
  20. POMPOMS & FOODSLUT !!! hahahhahhahhaaa xD
    and and and... till 3 yrs back, I thot I was a lesbian! to the extent that I confessed it to a teacher of mine, that I felt I was a lesbian ! :P
    hehehhehheehhee.... and yes, I fantasized a frnd's butt...well its nt my fault, she has a hot ass! ;)
    and I used to spank her butt in a frndly manner too...thankfully she never felt anything else!
    and a couple of yrs back, I got a frnd request on fb frm a stranger-girl, saying she fancied me a lot and she wud fantasize me in bed and u know do wat.... :P I blocked her obviously ! :P LOL

    well well well... a very brave post! :D and I enjoyed reading every line of it... I cud relate to so many things frm the post...it was like revisiting gud old school days! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ADITI!!! I am so glad you could relate. We have gone through that phase and for some it is going on even now! haha!

      Delete
  21. Great read - but no answers here :) I am cool with anything people do with each other as long as it is not hurtful to anyone else or a betrayal of trust.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree!!! Thank you for visiting my humble blog :D

      Delete
  22. Am really surprised that you had so many experiences of this kind. I didn't get any. No regrets there anyway :)

    Morals are set by us and they are very subjective and I feel that we are in a world where anything might happen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is some problem with my connection..I am not able to visit thy blog!!!

      Delete
  23. OMG you have witnessed some great things :D Laughed a lot while reading about ur encounters. Well, coming from an all-girls school, I could relate to you. I've seen a junior holding on to a bottle of sand, as a keepsake of a senior. Wait for this... it was taken from the playground where the senior was walking!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahaahah waaaat!! That is supremely insane!! Hahahahahahahah this was the best ever comment!!! Thankyou!!

      Delete
  24. I studied in a co-ed school and unfortunately, I never witnessed anything even CLOSE to being spicy. The initial intrigue of boyfriends and girlfriends and crushes slowly died out among a group of friends who were more interested in library books and weird uncategorizable gossips. And the kind of 'rumoured' couples i saw loitering in the hallways was enough to satiate my mental appetite for such stuff. Then bam! came college and a string of hook ups and break up which I came to know from my college mates. And finally, in the third year, the idea of homosexuality entered with a serious discussion as a part of my syllabus.

    Honestly, I've never felt averse to homosexuality. And according to certain authors I have read for my elective in feminism, all of us (literally, ALL of us) are homosexual to a certain degree. And being gay was something so absurdly funny when I came to know about it in school. Now it is so much a part of the norm that I am not even compelled to raise my eye-brows when confronted with someone 'coming out'.

    Morality again, is relative. Homosexuality was considered immoral and to an extent, still is by hardcore traditional minds. But I don't think incest will follow a similar trend because incest(minus the distant cousin love) problematizes the parent-child relationship which would not be easily digested by even the most liberal minds. But that is just my take on things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMEN TO EACH AND EVERY WORD!! I hope some relationships remain as pure as they are. Prurient interests have taken over almost all relationships!

      Delete
  25. dude. you saw two girls kiss in your school????!! i never got to watch such interesting stuff EVER !
    but yeah...i do remember having a crush on this classmate of mine once..girl offcourse..and now she has become one of my best friends :D and and ooo...i did hear stories of one of these seniors of mine who was a sports player and who was a lesbian and and whom everyone warned me to stay away from cos apparently she had hots for me :P:P:P i never spoke to her after i came to know that :D
    you know you are right. homo sexuality has just become a fad these days. I am not against anyone being anything. But now that I am married..i do wonder at times, how will i react if my kid tells me tomorrow that he/she is gay and wants to marry so and so. and worse..what if incest becomes a fad during their age.
    its crazy when you think about it. so i have stopped thinking. great read this :)
    and dude..that cake..hahaha..:D
    and ooooooooo.....i like the new look man. i have been wanting to come back with a bang into blogosphere for so long now..i only don't know. pffffffffffffft

    Cheers only :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. write baby write!!! I cant wait for your spicy musings!!!!!!! WRITEEEE!!

      Delete
  26. Seriously, those samosas were the best thing ever and eating from friends' tiffins - bliss!

    Well, I guess we should progress. 15 years back our parents would say no to Love Marriage and now I see parents asking their kids if they like someone. Though they still ask 'like', not love but we are accepting the changes. Same is/will be the case with gays. We have to accept everyone.

    Belated Anniversary Wishes to your parents. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh those samosas!!!!!!!and yes I am actually happy that though at a snails pace, we and our mentality are progressing!!!

      Delete
  27. This post has upset me greatly. I have suddenly realized that I've never been hit on by a femme. I think I'll go and sit in the corner and weep buckets.

    You concluded with a pertinent query. Got me thinking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahah Purbaaaaa I hate tears!!!
      Thank you for reading!!!! I always look forward to thy comment.

      Delete
  28. First time on your blog and I loved how you effortlessly wrote on such a sensitive topic. I have few minor objections.
    Firstly, the concept of Homosexuality goes way back than we could actually imagine. It's just that it happened between closed doors before and now it's out in open. In fact, I appreciate that the LGBT community today have the decency of not being a hypocrite and have given respect to what they are through live-in relationships and marriage.
    Secondly, the reasons you stated for you to apologize were immature. It just makes your apology fake. Being gay has nothing to do with "fashion".
    "I support the whole concept of being gay for it’s a personal sexual preference." Being gay is not just a "sexual" preference. Gay people are not gay, just because they like to eff the same sex. They too have much deeper and meaningful relationships between them. They too have emotional attachments like straight couples.
    We have effed up our culture and traditions in a millions ways and we wouldn't turn back to even acknowledge those but, as soon the concept of homosexuality appears, we get all saint-y and start questioning the morals. Straight people marry for a lot of mediocre reasons but, love. Gay people marry for love.
    I am sorry to come out as a bitch here. This is my first critical comment on blogger, ever. It's just that homophobia irritates me, extremely. I am not saying you are homophobic but, there were few things I didn't agree with. I could talk so much on this because I have very close gay friends and I can tell you for sure that their world is way, way beyond what you have mentioned here.
    P.S. I am straight and other than what I mentioned above, I am awed by your writing skills. I loved your blog. Kudos.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hey love! Welcome to my blog! And that was one generous comment! I like healthy criticism like the one you gave me.
    Now I would like to clarify one thing. When I said "being gay is the new fashion", it doesnt mean a ramp walk style fashion. I just stated that now more and more people are bold enough to come out of the closet and proclaim they are gay. Fashion means more prevelant. Its a good thing. Secondly, when I said "being gay is a personal sexual preference" I dont mean Just sex. Sexual preference isnt a narrow word. Sexual preferance means the gender or the sex a person is more comfortable being in a relationship with.. And when I say comfortable being in a relationship with, it requires deep emotions an d connections. So no I was not talking about fucking. Thirdly, Yes I am not homophobic. If you read the post well, you would see how once as a teenager I thougt I was a lesbian. You even might have read that I support this hkmosexuality concept. Actually being a lawyer I even argued in law school for its legalisation. So there ! I am a supporter too. Fourthly, I know some amazing gay people too.
    Do visit again babe. Its always a pleasure to know that people believe in healthy arguments. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you took my comment in a good way. That was my only intention. I better leave that discussion alone.
      But, yes, I got your point. Your perfect writing skills made me comment or I would have just rolled my eyes and click the red cross. I would like to read more of you.
      Following you missy!

      Delete
  30. Hmmm.. so now I guess it's a phase everybody goes through. :P

    BTW... you shall not be disappointed. A new post is waiting for you on my blog.. in 5 mins from now. :) I guess you were preparing for some exam. My best wishes for fruitful results. :]

    ReplyDelete
  31. As long as it is between two adults and does not start World War 3, I am fine with everything. Morality is a state of mind and everyone has their own set, just like our fingerprints.
    Thanks for all the homospices.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhahah it was my pleasure!!! Thank you for reading!

      Delete
  32. I am reminded of this youtube video after having read your post.
    I have often asked my friends that shouldn't people have the freedom to choose their own sexuality? When you cannot control genetics, there is no use discouraging something you cannot help (or maybe they could, but evolution takes a lot of time).

    But the question that you ask, about incest getting cool is rather a deep one. I'd have loved to defend you, but you're a lawyer yourself and I think I'd better not mess with the wrong people.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NO NO NO! Actually be free to defend me!!! That would be a nice break!!!

      Delete
  33. Incest can never be cool...though even today some communities have marriages between cousins..

    ReplyDelete
  34. Never been attracted to someone of the same gender.

    Not for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not even a crush like adoration?? tch tch!!

      Delete
  35. Personally, that's a very strange concept in my head.
    But respecting the personal sexual preferences of people is what comes out for others.
    I like the way you apologise here and let go of the things holding you back. It's a really good thing to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheh Thank you so much for reading!

      Delete
  36. Its a personal choice.
    Its of course, not conventional for the straights like us, but can't we respect what others have got in their will.

    ReplyDelete
  37. dear, you cleansed me of those cobwebs in my memory lane.. sip ups, stockings with rubber band .. being many years ahead of you, sadly lesbian was a word i learnt much later.. personally its a wild thought to have once in a while, but never felt the need to accomplish .. it is indeed a personal choice.. lesbians put me on, as long as they are on each other. thanks a lot dear for bringing me back to blogs.. will attempt soon :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I missed you here. You and Chintan where the two blogs that penned emotions beautifully. I am so glad you are back.

      Delete
  38. Great topic red hand girl.and i simply love your bindass writing style.To be true i have never encountered any Les gesture from any girl or aunty. I do not want to contemplate my reaction. May be scared awkward or rashy .

    Well I think we live in democratic country so preference in your cloths or sexuality is one’s business. And nowadays acceptance is important. It will certainly take time but soon be on receiving end openly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes acceptance is important and like you said, with time acceptance is achieved easily!

      Delete
  39. helll breaks looossee..!!1 my universe is collapsing ,,!! so much of shocking events ... 1!!1 we have to go through each one of these in detail ....!!maid tryign to kiss in hostel .. girl pinchign ur butt ,, and lady police officer winkign at you....!!1 what planet is this ...?? i am travelling to this planet ..!1 i want stay in this planet ..!! i id for such a planet ...!! reddd ...!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhahahahahaah!!! Well actually you are living on it!! Got to be a girl to feel a piece of it!

      Delete
    2. That is so unfair .. sexist world we live in i tell you

      Delete
  40. I hear you sista.. I have had similar experience from a fren when I was in 4th std. It was worse I must say, she tagged along wit me each time I went to bathroom and I realized the weirdness in that pretty late (dumb me).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. heheheheheeh...my goodness! Ok I guess I got lucky there!

      Delete
  41. omg you witnessed that? I always heard about affairs in my school of a boy dating a girl and all that jazz but never heard about lesbian and gay in my school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dont know if I was lucky or not. But yes I got to be a part of a lot of embarrassments....

      Delete

Spit It Out I Say !!!