Wednesday, 20 November 2013

MY WAISTLINE


I am thinking of having an apple as I type this. Actually chuck that because to be quite honest, I was thinking of ordering a Margherita Pizza with extra cheese from Domino’s right now, since I am home alone and the Menu card that got delivered to me with the morning newspaper is proof enough that the Universe wants me to have a pizza foreplay today. Maybe by the time I get to the end of this post, this pizza laden desire will go away. 

By the way I am also thinking about grilling some Vegetarian Seekh Kebab later this evening. It is 4’o clock already but Seekh kebabs are not the ones to be affected by the Indian Standard Time. Sadly, today morning as I lay in the Shavasana pose during my powerless yoga class, I had made a resolution to not eat anything that would make me spread like a dough with yeast in it. Speaking of dough with yeast in it, I am still thinking about ordering that pizza. Oh did you know that I have some home-made chocolate syrup in the refrigerator?  Pretty easy to make you know. Some brown sugar, some good quality cocoa powder, some vanilla essence and some water, boiled and reduced till you reach the syrup like consistency. How about killing the seekh kebab idea and making some nice fluffy pancakes. It would soak my chocolate syrup so well. Oh Yes!

Green tea is good. I had two cups of green tea today. So I guess I deserve to go out and buy a Paneer Bhurji Puff Pastry for an evening snack. I know I had that yesterday but something about a nice crumbly puff with a melt-in-your-mouth filling of Paneer and caramelized onions deserves my attention even today. I am already forgetting about the Margherita pizza.

What will mom cook for dinner? There are some Cauliflowers and a few White radishes lying unattended inside the fridge. Maybe I will ask her to make me some Gobi Mooli ke Parathe with a chunk of butter melting in the divine heat of the paratha. That reminds me that I need to go buy some sweet lime pickle because nothing compliments a Mooli paratha than a sweet lime pickle.

Yesterday I wanted to have some chocolate. But I was dieting so I did what a prudent girl like me would do. Yes, I made some chocolate brownies. It was eggless and butter-less of course because I don’t like compromising with my health. But a chocolate brownie needs its best friend to give you a happily ever after. So I went out and bought some Vanilla ice-cream and boy! It sure was divine.  Dieting is for losers. Losers as in people who lose, some weight. I am not a loser.

Did I tell you guys that I became 65 kilos from 63 kilos? Help me out here and tell me if you know exactly why this is happening to me. We can sit together and come to a conclusion while we share that Margherita Pizza which is still ruling my mind. Or you can take a walk with me while I go buy that much delicate Paneer Bhurji  puff. Who am I kidding, we will take the car, even if the shop is like a 100 mts away.

Whatever happened to the apple I was thinking of having while I started with the post? May be I should think about my waistline and just stick to having an apple. No Margherita Pizza, No seekh Kebab, No Paneer Bhurji Puff, No pancake with my amazing home-made chocolate syrup, No Gobi Mooli ke parathe, No melting butter. Just one good old, low calorie, doctor repelling  Apple. After all, I am not someone who breaks a SHAVASANA  RESOLUTION.

P.S- I am posting this a day later. Yes, I just had an apple as I said……in the gorgeous, divine, exquisite form of…….. an APPLE PIE.  Jesus Christ!! Victoria’s Secret should come up with a body mist that smells like an Apple pie with a hint of Cinnamon in it. Oh God!!!!!

P.P.S- HELP ME!! SOS!!!

P.P.P.S- Judicial service exam got over!! Phew! Chennai will happen next week because I have an interview scheduled with a law firm. I might either become a cranky judge or I might become a cranky Criminal Lawyer. I am fine either way! Just pray for me and my waistline, Will you?

 


109 comments:

  1. Woman, you make me cry LOLing :D :D That was hilarious...
    I swear I have felt like that so many times... :D but i never thought of writing that bit.. u did it and how! :D amazing!

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    Replies
    1. Hhehe thank you soooo much for being the first to read.

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  2. Oh my.. That's really a tough situation you're in :P.. Don't be so hard on diet.. Eat what you want but in small quantity.. Not sure whether it's a good advice though.. I hope all goes well with the interview.. The world seriously need a good judge /lawyer like you.. I'm proud of you dear :)

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    1. Small quantity is what I suck at...:(
      Thank you babe..I hope the interview goes well too.!!!

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  3. I always to go to Chennai! If you become a red hot bollywood type criminal lawyer, could you please kinda sorta sponsor my visit there... pleaseeeeeeee. you write really swell! pleaseeeeee say yes to the sponsoring thing.

    doesnt 65 mean the curves in all the right places? also this post was a few twerks short of becoming an actual food porn post, but you already knew that didn't you. Well, good luck to you and yours!

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    1. Hhahahaha let me bag that job and then we shall discuss about the sponsoring ok?
      Thanks for reading boss

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  4. I will be the first to admit that I have NO self-control when it comes to good food. I have been known to eat an entire large pizza in one sitting!! I think I may have a problem :)

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    1. I once ordered combo pizza..consisiting for 4 personal size pizzas...I ate all 4.

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  5. dai. you speak my mind only. i am feeling like why should i give a fuck about dieting and then i look at my bulging waist and realize i do need to give many fucks about this issue. that reminds me, being married is good for the just mentioned expression :D i have been thinking of dieting for so long, i even have cosy cakey conversations with myself and tell myself that i should go on a diet.heck i am still thinking the same and munching on fryums. thinking iss a good exercise you know, especially with your jaw muscles working in random motion like a cow.
    sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    someday..someday i shall lose all that flab and wear an S. or an M. or maybe an L. yeah thats realistic.
    all the bestuu for thy interview. may you become an awesome sauce anything you want.
    and may we achieve our desired weight someday soon.
    AMEN.

    oooooo...cadbury cadbury cadbury, right in front of me. ok i am off to take a bite. toooodles

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    1. Baby girl....wont you share the cadbury wimme?? Pretty please.
      Please start blogging again. I miss reading you soooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!
      and always been a fan of your bubbly comments. Cheers anyone up :)

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  6. congrats on losing weight and all the best for your interview.

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  7. Watching your waiste size is a waste exercise. Our body like our heart is wired to retain the best of what we eat, black forest with raisins and nuts anybody? ;)

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    1. Yes please!!1 And yes it is one waste exercise :P

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  8. My upper part of the body follows the rules whereas the lower part of my body is my storage area of fat. I do everything to keep the fat from depositing, but well, like you said, chocolates and cakes don't seem to work during weight loss. But, don't they say "Be happy and stay fit". Now, I tried that, chocolate = happiness and happiness=fitness, but chocolate # fitness. Looks like I did my calculations wrong. No wonder, I was always bad at Mathematics.

    Hilarious post!! Well, thanks to you, I lost a few calories laughing. :D Well, I am done with my work-out for the day.

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    1. I suck at Maths too. Now I know why this is happening to me :(
      Thanks a ton for reading love.

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  9. I am a junkie (as in a junk food addict). Believe me when I say, I have chicken(either it is Pizza or Sub or KFC) twice a day ( 5 days a week). So, when a blood donation camp was conducted last month, I was sure that the weight machine would show me an insane number. I was shocked. It showed 60 kilos. For a moment, I thought that the needle got stuck. So, I tapped it. It didn't budge. The doc was looking weirdly at me, so I stepped down.
    Why did I tell this? I have no idea. May be to tell that restricting the food you love might make one fatter than making them into a desired shape. And also, I haven't been to gym in ages ( I mean like never).
    Would you kill me for sharing my weight ( which unfortunately is less than you) ? Probably.
    *Dodges a bullet*. Phew! That was close.

    Dear God,
    Help my friend here maintain the desired waistline and also kindly look into that interview and land her up in a better job.
    - A concerned blogger.

    P.S. Okay, I prayed. All the Best , btw. :)
    So how about that Margherita Pizza, then seekh Kebab and later Paneer Bhurji Puff plus a pancake with your amazing home-made chocolate syrup and finally dinner with Gobi Mooli ke parathe ? What say? Treat tho banta hai. :P

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    1. No boy..you did not dodge that bullet boy...I hate you boy..I am going to kill you boy..I am jealous of your epic metabolism boy....I am going to do voodoo on you boy. :P
      but thank you for praying!!
      Still voodoo victim but :P

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  10. I laughed and cried..looks like my own story.. I am struggling between my love for food and not getting fat. Ever since I came back home from Mumbai in Feb 2012 and started a food blog, I have been swelling up like a dough with yeast in it! I am your closest competitor, from 50 kg to 62 kg ;)

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    1. hahaha now that is one stiff competition. But woman you know what? I havenever seen a 50 after class 7th :P

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    2. Awww! May be that's because of different set of reasons! You might be tall... So I win! :p

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    3. Oh lord!! How did I not know that you have a food blog. GOSH!!! I am going to cook that pepper chicken today.. Thank you for the recipe!!!

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    4. Oh! :) I hope it comes out well and that you would like it. Let me know..ok??

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  11. Or you might become a judge with a great taste in food :D

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  12. Ha Ha. Nice stream of thought writing. Nowadays concept is changing. Clothe shops are offering greater discounts based on waist line. Maybe bigger waists may be the in-thing soon and people will be gouging instead of dieting.

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    1. Is it? I never got a discount :(
      I am praying that you are right.

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  13. Hahahaha we go through this everyday dont we :) Ever since I read this article that says women inherently have more fat than men and take longer to lose, I have been "trying" to think twice before I sink my teeth into those crispy vadais, spicy pakoras and those divinely sinful french fries.. sigh sigh :|.. nope havent been successful at my attempts yet :P
    :P

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    1. I have read it too..and much more. But food is like an addiction...and that too the bad type of food. :(

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  14. Hahaha ! Awesome ! And diet is not about waistlines its about the BMI. Come closer to your BMI and then do the cheating on your diet occasionally. By the way I liked that line about losers :D WHole new concept I say !! I was laughing so hard at the apple pie part :D

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    1. BMI? Mine is a body mass increase...not index. I am forever increasing :(
      Thanks for reading love!!!

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    2. Whole new concept, whole new definition! You are the GURU ! *bows*

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  15. I don't know what to say. Now I want to have a pizza, a brownie with some vanilla icecream, pancakes and apple pie. My weight has also increased 2 kilos.
    Loved the post. I mean I absolutely loved it. :) :)
    All the best for the interview. :) :)

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    1. Hheheh thanks a ton love. and worry not we will lose that 2 kilos in no time...let us share a brownie for now, shall we?

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  16. Haha and you blamed me for breaking your diet with my post. Now you made me hungry after this post and like a good South Indian girl, I went and had a hot, hot Idli-Vada for breakfast. After having a plateful of cornflakes mixed with honey, nuts and chocolate chip cookies ;)

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    1. I will still blame you. I did not post pictures here you know :P
      and tonight its masala dosa at home..YAY!!!!!

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  17. I think you will become a Foodie as the character that comes in Times Now!!!.Why not when you have titillated everyone's taste bud with description of mouthwatering food items and finally you remained content with the doctor-repelling apple.Very humourously written piece,.I enjoyed it.

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    1. Nooooooooooooo.....I dont want to be that fat. I want to the slim waisted hot looking foodie. :P
      Thank you so much for reading sir!!!!!!!!!

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  18. You know I went and got that book 'Don't lose your mind, lose your weight'. Its all about lifestyle and something called fat weight and body weight. Seems pretty interesting, try it out! (Kill me now, if I'm sounding like one of those boring advice giving aunties)

    Apple pie is something made in heaven and that cinnamon hint only adds on to the magic. Man, I'm drooling here. You should come to Bangalore, I'll take you for the most kick ass Apple Crumble Pie in the world. I'm still drooling.

    Eat lady, eat. Fuck the world! Stay happy and enjoy life. You never know, you might just buy that XS LBD and get hit by a truck while crossing the road. Why bother? :D

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    1. hahah this was the best comment ever!!! I am surely going to send you a reminder if ever I am hitting bangalore because apple crumble pie and a good company is a thing worth traveling for :)
      and just because you said abt LBD and XS and truck accident, I am going to have a whole packet of Golden arcs chocolate filling biscuit.

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  19. With all due respect to this post, tomorrow I shall eat pizza!

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  20. Sigh! Everyday battles of my mind put so beautifully. That reminds me there is ice cream in the fridge and ice cream doesn't follow IST either :D :D

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  21. I hahaha-ed till it became stupid to do so .... Too good to eat.. I mean read ...

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    1. Now thank u and welcome to my humble little blog :D

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  22. Hahaha.. I am sooooo hungry by now. After years of torture I have just learnt one thing.. eat and exercise, eat and exercise. There is nothing more beautiful in the world than a melt in your mouth dessert. And we deserve every ounce of it!! Just to skip the guilt trip... hit the gym or learn some asanas! You can do it!!

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    1. I do gym...but seems like wat you eat determines 80% of your fitness. :(

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  23. Hahahaha We've got one more thing which is common.I have my CS exams, ofcourse the god damn multiple attempts torture is getting on nerves and still most of the time I think about is food only.This was one hell of awesome post.
    All the best for both the career lines.May you get through both the options :D *Fingers crossed*

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    1. hahahaha all the best to you too babe!!!!!!!!!

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  24. I can't relate to this at all. Because I simply can't gain weight and looking at my parents, I'll be able to do this forever.

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    1. NOW I HATE YOU....JEALOUSY LEADS TO HATRED :(

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  25. What a divine post Red!! The tongue craves for all the calories laden goodies and the waist disagrees by adding more inches! The battle lines are drawn every meal time to make the difficult choice:)

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  26. Red on sad note i try to pick up some waistline but it is not happening, my mom convinces me saying be happy you are born with "Slim Gene"

    Good luck and my prayers for your interview and our waistlines :)

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    1. I AM SO JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  27. Ha Ha. No Pizza, no seekh Kabab, no puff. That's sad. I remember eating them all in a single day, when I was in Bangalore.. :) Good luck for you :)

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    1. Burp....feels awesome doesn't it? Thanku so much.

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  28. There's you, thinking about the things that you shouldn't eat, and then here's me, thinking about why doesn't anyone deliver a menu card to me too? Why God, why?

    Try having a dog, and setting him free in the morning. Then run after him. Oh no, I got a better plan, let a lone hen free in a pen, and try to catch it, once in the morning, and other in the evening. Eggs?
    Best of luck! (With the exams and interviews)

    Ok, best of luck with the waistline too.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. EGGS YES!!! And I gym and run as if a dog is running behind me. Still I end up eating as if I wont have another meal later.

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  29. Oh my. The story of my life- right there. But i usually end up with the pizza;)

    Ps: I'll keep our waistlines in my prayer :p

    xo
    Hopelessly Hopeful
    http://welcometomypartypeople.blogspot.in/

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    1. haha do pray. and welcome to my blog.

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  30. Awesome post! I love the dishes mentioned in the post!

    :)

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  31. I think it is okay to splurge once in a while. :)
    Great read and thanks a lot for your comments at my post.

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  32. Haha. This was funny. And i can so relate to it. Been trying to eat healthy since ages but can NOT diet for the life of me. Food is too good. :>

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    1. FOOD FOOD FOOOOD!!! That is all I think off!

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  33. Hahaha! Redhanded! Me - I hate waistlines. I have a waist-curve - nice and convex - and I have always loved curves. You know how men love curves :)

    Chennai, huh! Shall be coming over there myself the end of this month for my customary music season visit. :) That should render me less cranky - the music I mean :)

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    1. hahaha especially south indian men. Hate skinny chicks!!
      and Chennai made me a bit cranky too!!

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  34. Reading you after a long time, and laughing my head off :D Oh my goodness, you've certainly made me hungry. This is the story of my life. I decide to get fit (after running for one day in a week :P), and then... chocolate happens, ice cream happens, all the good things in the world happen together. Sigh!

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    1. Hi 5 sister!! I think it is the story of our lives!!!

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  35. Not everyone loves food so much. So I guess you do some more yoga for that waistline and just succumb to your taste buds

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    1. I am doing it!!! and yes it helps maintaining!!

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  36. You know, I once went on a diet and lost 10 kgs. People stopped recognising me and dad started calling me 'chusa hua mango'. I then ate a lot of food and gained those 10 kgs back. So eat whatever you want and run a lot.

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  37. I don't about the waistline, but I wish you become a judge rather than a lawyer. With all those pending cases in our country we need more judges than lawyers. All the best. :-)

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  38. hahaha!! it will be fun to see you a cranky judge - and you've just made me so hungry right now, i want that brownie and ice cream!!!

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  39. Hehe..I know this feeling!
    Same weighty issues this side! :D
    And do check out my blog : anushavalecha.blogspot.in :)

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  40. Enjoyed this.
    With a bigger waistline its going to be a cranky cranky...... (judge or lawyer - take your pick)

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  41. You bad bad girl. You made me drool. And I have a wedding to attend this week. Forget eating, even the sight of cheese and chocolate turns my waist into wasteland.
    A delectable post.

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    1. A KAMARA instead of a KAMAR. God loves watching me run!

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  42. Been there and done that, sorry doing that all the time. God, why food and me are inseparable.

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  43. haha..well, I can't be away from food even if I think I should. Cooking itself makes me drool over it and eating what I made gives me a satisfaction..so right now, let me give a holiday break to my waistline :)

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  44. I've been noticing the zillion similarities between us. Judicial Services. Waistline. Law firms. Food. 65 kgs :P Workouts. Unattended weight loss strategies. :P
    All the best for that interview, they'll fall for you with that amazing sense of humor you have. :D

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    1. hhahahah I am quiet boring until i like you :P
      65 KILOS. HIGH FIVE

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  45. You sound just like me. Sometimes all I do is to think of food. I like the element of surprise there. It's like I finish up with a sumptuous lunch, tell mom I'm very full and then ask her what's for dinner :-). I also have these food cravings when I'm home alone and have all these pamphlets :-)

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    1. HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....talking abt pamphlets. collecting them is my hobby :P

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  46. I have been fighting the Pizza phantom for a couple of days now. And inching closer and closer and closer to caving in (again). another trophy to be added on the shelf of fallen diet plans and exercise regimes. Oh, appetite and taste buds and cravings! Thou art some unrelenting b****es.

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    1. my shelf is broken. the number of fallen diet plans and regimes are heavy :P

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    2. hahahahaha! they are, indeed. xD

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  47. All this talk about food to a person who is struggling with gestational diabetes and insulin shots.. Forget pie and pancake, I cant even have a cup of tea!!!
    Eat everything you want girl, the time is yours!!! Don't even think of dieting cos you may not know what you will be restrained from eating tomorrow. Live today and hog on!!!

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    1. babe, I am sooooooo happy for you. Going to be a proud mom soon. Lots of love! SINCERE!

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  48. hahahaha! you're so funny... loving your blog!!! :)

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  49. I had a good laugh reading this -- Dieting is for losers. Losers as in people who lose, some weight. I am not a loser.

    !!
    We are in same boat Red handed :( I hav to be harsh on my self to lose weight now

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  50. haha

    I have been myself on mission of having a waist line since yearsss but i always end up eating all that i want to eat...

    why do we think so much about it ? whi cant the society just let us be ourselves...

    ooops...but at d end of d day...we do it for ourselves

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  51. Ohh Myy Godd!! :) hahaha I loved it! :) I love dominos too! I wish I cud tell explain it you how i did my dieting years ago for 2 lonnng months! Forget all your diets nd just live your life fabulously! Feel great about yourself all the time :)

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Spit It Out I Say !!!