Tuesday, 4 March 2014

FREE COMPLIMENTS ANYONE ??


I have this little habit that I am proud of. It is a big deal indeed because there is seldom anything that makes me actually proud of myself. My occasional kleptomania, my frequent perverted thoughts and my absolute ignorance of everything that matters has overshadowed any minute good detail about me, until now.

I remember my grandfather telling me about the importance of genuine compliments and how you should not think twice before sincerely complimenting someone or something. If you think about it, you have a lot of people around you whom you genuinely have something to compliment about. But it is rare that you actually let them know of it.  I on the contrary, blurt out compliments like it is my second job. Provided, they deserve it.

I usually walk back from work but today was one of those days where I ate more than I possibly should and was feeling too pregnant to walk. To add to my laziness was the sight of an auto just a few meters away. As I got closer, I noticed that the auto had a neon pink and orange faux leather interior and a matching neon couch, obviously too plush for an auto. There was mirror work on the roof and small cotton balls hung on the sides. I was amused. As I got inside the auto, making myself comfortable in the ever sinking softest of soft seat and being transported into a neon wonderland, I unintentionally exclaimed "Great Interior!! ".

You guys should have seen the grin on the Auto driver's face as he turned and said " Thank you. Saved for 3 years."

You never realize the hard work a person might be putting for something that might be exceptionally trivial for you. When I complimented him for his quirky auto, he actually was complimented for the 3 years of small  and big sacrifices he made for saving up for it.

Why don't you compliment someone when they deserve it? Is it because they might get elevated to achieve a higher level of self confidence? Is it because you have an ego that doesn't allow you to say a good word or two? Or is it because you don't think your compliments actually matter? If you say yes to even one of the above, 'YOU NEED TO CHANGE'.

So, the next time you see anything or anyone who truly deserves a good word or two, don't hold it in like a fart. Release!

Having said that, do not compliment someone expecting a memento in return because actually, come to think of it, the auto guy did not lessen the fare even by a rupee . Waste!


115 comments:

  1. You know what... I've actually been criticised for doing just that all my life. I say thanks to auto drivers and people laugh saying "why are u being nice? he's getting paid for what he does." i dont see what harm can occur by saying a simple kind word... not like that's gonna kill u

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    1. I say thanks to autodrivers, office boys for giving me tea, waiters and everyone around. And I like the expression on their faces when I say it. They deserve it. If I were a waitress I'd feel good too..I am so glad I found people who say thanks and compliment others whenever possible ! ie you, Roshan and RED !

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    2. Whenever I go to a certain dhaba, a certain dhaba-boy comes to take the order. When I ask "bhai sahab kya haal hai?", he says "sir dal, jeera-aloo, rajmah, mix veg ...." ... EVERY SINGLE TIME. The man is not willing to accept even simple pleasant conversation. Shows the amount of petty hatred he goes through everyday.

      Whenever someone gives me the "they're getting paid" thing, I thank them too :-)

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    3. heheheheh!!!

      Roshan is such a sweetheart! :P
      Anita is such a sweetheart!
      KK is such a sweetheart!

      We three shall together compliment the hell out of everyone alive!

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  2. That means every time you comment on my posts, I completely deserve it? :)

    Hurray to that! :)

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  3. Lol....so did you expect him to reduce a rupee before complimenting? ;) just kidding...btw, I have the same habit like you..I give compliments easily...not to impress people for sure. I compliment because I feel to..it doesn't hide a second in my mouth...sometimes, I feel may be I should think before I talk :P

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    1. And you are a good soul to do so :)

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  4. lil things that make you up, not talking about body cells ofcourse but observations! :D
    p.s. jealous that you found a full neon auto when finding matching neon clips is a task for me :P

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    1. hhaha I was surprised to find such a quirky auto too! Shud have clicked a picture :(

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    2. and posted here with a lesson, actually a neon lesson! :P

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  5. "Feeling too pregnant to walk" LOL! I've definitely felt that way before

    I think you are hilarious :)

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  6. Its so true! I think the ability to praise someone genuinely, is a very enriching quality! And you know, you're always cool! :) Beautiful post! :)

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  7. ' occasional kleptomaniac, perverted thoughts and absolute ignorance of everything that matters' - you are one hell of a woman !! Now can I get complimented in return :P:P

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    1. hahaha, you know it very well that you are awesome my sarkari babu!

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  8. I have been sitting on my bed all day, ordered in my lunch and dinner. I am literally more pregnant than you. :P #JustSaying

    Coming to the compliment thing, at the back of our mind we compliment someone or something first but sometimes it doesn't come out. It is not ego but rather the person who receives it, how would he respond. Or may be we are just too shy to say it. But like you said, no one should hold back a genuine deserving compliment like a 'fart'. #ReleaseTheCompliment

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  9. Either I appreciate things way too heartily or my compliments sound very cliched and fake because people just don't accept them. I still remember a rickshaw-wallah giving me a stink-eye after I had thanked him. :|

    Great post. Touching and funny and pretty much awesome, just like every time. :)

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  10. You know someone once told me that a person who genuinely compliments you or your work without giving a second thought, is always a lovely person. Just like you! :)

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    1. I am sure you do the same too! So you are a lovely person too :)

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  11. I say "thank you" to waiters at restaurants too and I get back a smile in return from them. But I have seen not many people use thank yous. I don't think there is anything wrong in thanking someone for the good service they gave us.

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  12. Hihihi. Okay. I need to change. Think about saving for 3 years. Like your grandpa said, yours was a genuine compliment.

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  13. Yeah very true.... dont hold it!!! just let it GO!!! :D

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  14. Cool habit, I always compliment someone if I am impressed by some quality of theirs. However, I don't do that to strangers for reasons unknown. Maybe I should loosen up a little. :)

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    1. Well I don't always compliment stranger. Felt like he deserved it.

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  15. What a wonderful post to read to start my morning :-) I agree with you completely - I should start complimenting people more often...I used to at one point; then for reasons unknown I somehow reduced that habit...thanks for this ;)

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    1. Thank you soooooooooooo much for reading.

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  16. So true red.. I give out compliments too, but only to people I know. :) So nice of you to write this post. Such things should be shared and followed by everyone..
    To compliment someone and see them happy is such a lovely feeling.. :)
    The problem with me is I criticize too sometimes :(

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    1. Are that is even better. They might frown now, but they will only thank you later!

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  17. A lovely post with a lesson there! Complimenting without being a miser goes a long way:)

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  18. // deserves a good word or two, don't hold it in like a fart. Release!// hahaha you should try writing poetry :P ROFL :D but indeed a genuine compliment brings a smile that's unparalleled.

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    1. My GOD! Me and poetry would be a comitragedy

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  19. As Roshan said, people sometimes do not even take compliments seriously, they think you are flattering them. But well, you are right! A genuine compliment really makes people happy and it makes you feel good too!! :D

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  20. I compliment almost everyone. When I find an honest auto driver I tell him thanks and compliment him for being honest. And just like the doctor says above, I'm criticized for it. People make fun of me when I call drivers as 'Sir'! I even compliment random strangers on the street if I find them wearing something awesome! They smile and feel happy whenever I do! Thank fully until now, no body has asked me to get lost! :)

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    1. haha I am sure they wont ask you to!

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  21. Lovely Post. Can relate to it as even I happily compliment as if it is my birthright! People know I am very sincere, but still too many compliments makes people doubt my intentions! :)
    It takes niceness to acknowledge & the person who's complimented feels great too. We spread smiles!
    Let us keep up the great work!

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    1. Let us compliment the hell out of everybody!

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  22. OH that auto story reminded me of this --> http://www.allindiadaily.com/2013/08/annadurai-autowala-provides-free-wi-fi.html

    But yes, compliments are good... I give them easily too, and most of the time i mean them! :)

    Don't hold it like fart.;..release!! And that's another epic line...Goodreads should have quotes picked up from this blog! You are too good :P :D

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    1. hahahhahahha I died reading that!! ahahaha
      and babe, you are kind :)

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  23. I totally agree with you but what about people who compliment as part of flattery and some even lie just get something in return

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    1. Well, I emphasized on genuine comments :)

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  24. I do not hold back compliments. Erm...I don't hold back farts too. But that aside, this was a lovely post. :D

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  25. Great thought and a great post!

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  26. "My occasional kleptomania, my frequent perverted thoughts" - LOL you crack me up.

    And yes I agree - never withhold genuine compliments!!

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    1. haha thank you so much for reading!

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  27. Giving compliment is good..it will better if its a honest compliment.The person who receives the compliment will feel good and that makes them to constantly improve their work..
    Compliment is must especially when it comes to kids :)

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    1. And we all are a child at heart! So compliments!!

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  28. I thank people but have never really complimented as much as I thank. Never really thought about it too. Actually it feels weird when people compliment me. One day when I was in the elevator a guy said, 'That's a cool tee'. And the exact words that came out of my mouth was, 'Ya, I know'. I mean, what was I thinking..??

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    1. hahahahahhah...and that was unintentionally rude!!!

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  29. Tell me about it. Just the other day I had posted in Facebook about people not knowing how to accept compliments. I'm not sure when exactly I started doing it, but I try and smile and say thank you and compliment people as much as possible. This is not merely because I believe that some day people might come and compliment me, it's about acknowledging the efforts of others.

    One such day, I casually suggested that a person should quit his job and take up his creative passion more seriously. Turns out he has under estimated himself and my compliment had given his morale a boost and he made the right decisions and is now very happy. I can't believe that a causal compliment, not only brightened someone's day but their life as well.

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    1. My God!!!! Now you just proved my point. I am so glad you gave him your genuine thoughts!

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  30. Quite right - complimenting yields no returns but the happiness it can spread is worth it anyway. I think most people do not compliment only because they are too hungry to receive to feel free to give. No starving person ever thought of feeding someone else, right? :)

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  31. O.K. and what about ALWAYS giving them what they deserve, commendation or condemnation, why is that considered bad? When it is about simple give and take, we just don't want to give what we don't want to get. I like it rough (the compliment part).

    Criticism? Talk to the hand!

    Nice post, and, point taken :)

    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  32. A genuine compliment as a positive reinforcement is generally good. Like you've mentioned in the post - it probably makes someone's day.

    On the flip side, it could breed sycophancy and flattery.

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    1. I know...but the flip side can be ignored right? :D

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  33. Lol loved the end bits of your article.
    Just out of personal experience, people have given me strange and weird looks when I have complimented them. As you said, I tend to just blurt them out too. But on the plus side, once they get over that shocked look they do smile. That just makes my day too :)

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    1. hahah welcome to the blog babe!! Thanks for reading!

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  34. Rather an unusual topic to talk about but an important one. I saw everyone complimenting and acknowledging even the minutest of service in USA and I felt that the whole idea of India being culturally respectful is flawed. That is probably the most fake thing we sold to the West after our cuisine being synonymous to curries!
    But I am intrigued, if an experience triggered you to write this post. It's appeals to the reader in a way as if you indirectly wanted to send someone a message to compliment someone else like the auto driver or a waiter.

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    1. Thank you reading!
      If my indirect message works, I am happy.

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  35. One should realize if we love being complimented, others would love it too. However not about the compliments, I was once mocked by one of my friends for saying Thank you to the Auto drivers. Even though for a moment I gave it a second thought if I should stop it. But then soon I discovered that most of the Auto drivers had started recognizing me because of this. And hence forth I never get irritated for not carrying a change or any such issues. You never know what the result of a compliment or displaying gratitude might be,After all Happiness lies in small deeds .

    Kudos !

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    1. Now now, I never got beneficial treatment for that. Hmmm.. :(

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  36. Quite true. But the problem is that here farting in public is more "acceptable" than complementing! But yeah the smile on that someone's face on being complimented is worth all those weird stares.

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  37. Not too long ago, I had realised I should learn to compliment people, because I was bad, very bad at it. And even though, I still suck at it, it's nice to see that my words can bring a smile to someone's face. I can keep on practising, can't I? :D

    And yes, nice post! (Y) (Complimenting enough? :P)

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    1. hehe very complimenting!!!! Thank you sooo much for reading!

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  38. Not too long ago, I had realised I should learn to compliment people, because I was bad, very bad at it. And even though, I still suck at it, it's nice to see that my words can bring a smile to someone's face. I can keep on practising, can't I? :D

    And yes, nice post! (Y) (Complimenting enough? :P)

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  39. I compliment those who deserve with open heart. I learnt very young to accept my flaws n appreciate other's talent.

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  40. Here goes a compliment--- to you ofcourse (Stop rolling eyes :P ) Your each post brings a smile on my face. There is always something to learn and laugh out loud about everything you write- be it the system, be it an auto and so on..:P (Jyada ho gya kya...?? :P )
    anyways, great post. :D

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    1. hahaha compliments kabhi jyaada nahi hote :P
      And that was so sweet of you! Thanks a ton!!!

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  41. Hahahaha, the last line made me laugh so hard!

    Also if I can trouble you, can you read my latest blog post and perhaps....help spread the word? (If its not too much of a hassle)

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  42. Loved this post! I am glad you complimented that auto driver. Its good to praise people and tell them that they are loved and appreciated instead of discussing them after they die. I want to appreciate people while they are young and alive. I wonder what's the matter with a lot of people, ego problem or insecurity issues that they fail to praise people even when its due. Thanks for this post. Glad that you discussed this matter. :)

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  43. Very true. I hesitated in saying compliments before... but when I realized that I enjoy getting compliments I made it a point to compliment others.... And this is an absolutely lovely post! :)

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  44. Totally agree! You are right. Don't hold it in like a fart :-). BTW, I am not getting your notifications :/.

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  45. Great post, Red! Why should we hold back, when our compliments matter a lot to someone?

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  46. I sometimes get shy even when I want to compliment someone, this makes me realise that my kind words could truly brighten someone's day. Nice post :)

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  47. Compliments are always nice. It feels good to give and receive compliments, it warms the heart. :)

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  48. Great point. However, have you also noticed this strange trait that mAny of us have - of not receiving a ccompliment without a fuss? Of always humming and hawing about how we don't deserve it? Or saying how it was really no big deal? Or whatever other strange things that enter our heads except a simple Thank you?

    I noticed this difference when I lived in the west for a few years. There, when one pays a compliment, the receiver says Thank you and then both people move on with their business of living. No fuss. No Ram Katha.

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    1. hahahahaha I sometimes do some hawing. NOW I WONT. Thanks to you :P

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  49. Compliments ... who wouldn't love them? :-)

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  50. Trying and trying. Its a big stumbling block, but I think I have overcome about 60% of it. I know we don't loose anything just to compliment someone, but years and years of being tight fisted is not easy to break. (thanks for the push)

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  51. well said. "Don't hold it in like a fart" hahaha...loved the line..
    Btw, I compliment generously too, if the other person deserves it :-)

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    1. hahah gross line right!
      But thanks! :)

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  52. True. One must learn to compliment.

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  53. I agree with you on the part, that compliments should come straight from the heart, and holding it serves no purpose. This rule doesn't apply to vain folks though.

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  54. Vintage red this.. :)

    See? I complimented :P, didn't hold it in.. hehe

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  55. Completely agree, RH! No matter who the person is, if they've done something you appreciate, you have to thank them for it. I made a similar post on my blog called Validation.
    I make it a point to compliment people instead of just thinking it in my head. And I always say thanks to waiters because they deserve it, whether they're paid for it or not. :)

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Spit It Out I Say !!!