Wednesday, 23 April 2014

SAYING BYE A LOT !!!


The first thing an Indian parent usually teaches his/her child is to shake his hand and say bye. ‘Bye Bolo Beta Bye!’ they tell him, as the confused kid takes an initiative to move his hand in a windshield wiper motion only to be amazed by the applaud that his act receives. The kid would not even as much as smile at you, yet because of the parental tuning, he inadvertently gives you a bye. Since then the kid carried into his adulthood, his perennial dedication to saying ‘Bye’.

Now think about this, you drop in to visit someone you know. The welcome and the ‘hello’ is always cordial, pleasing and definitely not overdone. Just letting you know that they are happy to see you after long. Now compare this warmth with the one that you receive while you leave. The byes start as soon as your buttocks leave the couch all the way till half a kilometer from their place. Small waves, big waves, tired waves, sleepy waves, just-for-the-heck-of-it waves, they give it all to you and they expect you to wave out of the car window, sometimes even jutting your head out, till their eyesight blurs. I do not understand this stuff.

My grandmother believes in crying for the whole community. I think she finds it inauspicious and inconsiderate to wave someone goodbye without her eyes brimming like the Seine river. There has to be emotions attached to every goodbye even if she doesn't know the person who visited. What she calls as acts of benevolent sentiment, might look to other’s as her cry for help, indirectly trying to let them know that we practice third degree torture on her. So much for bidding someone the good old goodbye.

Few days back, a family friend dropped by and just like every other family friend, he took over the television and stayed put on the couch till late evening. Anyone who tells someone to ‘consider this as your place’ was definitely trying to be Chandler Bing. Finally in the evening he decided to leave and my parents started their ‘Bye’ routine. “Bye! Phirse Aayiyega” my dad lies, while my mother churns out the “Bye!Milke bahut accha laga” as my grandmother looks straight up at the ceiling fan without as much as blinking in an attempt to bring out tears. As I stood simply smiling at the man finally leaving, with my right hand cautiously reaching towards the television remote, my Dad suddenly demanded “Bye bolo ungil ko!”, totally ignoring the fact that I am nearing my 25th year of existence. The man stepped out and my family kept on gargling on ‘bye’ until he was securely inside the confines of his Hyundai Eon. We continued to stand at the door waiting for him to start the ignition, when he decided to pick up a call. As my legs started the numbing game, I finally took the initiative to close the door and just then my Mother screamed “How can you close the door!!! Uncle is yet to drive away.” The door remained open till the man ultimately decided to keep the phone down and leave, but not until he was awarded a fresh set of whimsical ‘Byes’. The night was spent sleepless, thanks to the mosquitoes that had utilized the opportunity fruitfully.

I understand the emotions attached while bidding someone dear and near a temporary bye. We as Indians even believe in following our family member till the gate, even if he/she is just going to the local dispensary to as much as buy a pair of strepsils. But I do not understand this everlasting ‘bye’ that we render to someone who is just an acquaintance. The straining of the neck out of the car and stretching out your hand, just for some meaningless bye byes.

You might say that we are a hospitable bunch of people. But if you think about it, it simply looks like you are rejoicing over someone’s departure evidently more than their arrival. Atleast try not to make your joy so evident.

So if because of some catastrophic reason I decide to visit you, just give me a single bye and a kind nod. Don’t wait for me to cross the boundaries of your myopic eyesight to close the gates and go back inside.

But if you really want to go an extra mile, you can choose to do this.....


IMAGE COURTESY- happilyunmarried.com and proper utilization of Google. 

123 comments:

  1. hahaha :) chirichu chirichu marichu :D That was too good, RH :)
    Very true, parents do that . 'Ungil ko bye bolo' is a dialogue they repeat with same frequency as 'eat your food' :D I don't know whether it is just politeness that makes them say so, or is it the 'chalo-woh-nikal-gaya' wala attitude :D
    Only YOU can churn this out into such a hilarious post !!

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    1. Hhahahaha chalo woh nikal gaya is what runs in my mind !! But they keep standing near the gate and continue talking :(
      Thank you for being the first to read !!!!

      Delete
  2. Going on a slight tangent - An autowala who used to ferry kindergarten kids to school once got his face stuffed with a sandwich as the mum was feeding her kid and saying bye at the same time - true story.

    Such a funny one this post was.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahahhahahaahhaha...that was epic! That really happened? lol

      Delete
  3. ROFL Red...this was brilliant!! :D I think all the Indians can relate to this...it is supposedly considered 'good manners' but it is too much man!!

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    1. hehe I am so glad u read it babe. We r a funny bunch of people!

      Delete
  4. My belly aches from laughing so hard :D 'Ungil' indeed! Yes, to the power of infinity, in agreement with the post. Although, to be honest, Gy's first words out of her mouth was not Amma or Appa, it was Bye Bye :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahaha seeeeeeeeee I was not wrong... Gy proved me right.. hehe! Thank you for reading!!!!!

      Delete
  5. ha ha...that's really funny :). It's nice to pick the smallest of gestures and make a post out of it!

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    1. I am so happy u liked it Prateeeeek! :D

      Delete
  6. Haha! I went through this Bye torture just last night, I exactly know what you mean!


    Ok, Bye! :P

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  7. LOL ! Really, LOL !!! Esp when the mosquitoes used the opportunity fruitfully :D Ya that happens in Cochin if u say bye bye too much !!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hehehehe Mosquitos are such smart-asses!!! Huh!!
      Cochi pazhaya kochi alla mwale!!!

      Delete
  8. Aiya! See you forgot to mention the lovey dovey byes. You know you keep the phone first bye. Then there's that bye when all the guests leave and the kids at home run to eat the mithai left. No machar invasions through the door in bombay thankfully :D
    Ps I like walking the guests to the door, you know in case they dont leave :p

    ReplyDelete
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    1. How brilliant u r...now I should look at it that way...taking the guests to the door to make sure they leave :P

      Delete
  9. This one made me smile :) You know, I suck at hospitality. I don't understand the formalities that come with it right from the welcoming ceremony till the goodbye. I always have the feeling why can't we just leave all that behind and just enjoy the moment. Like visit a friend's place, have fun without interfering/intruding into their space/time and get out with a simple 'see ya later'. They can do the same to you. Isn't this simple?

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    1. U r a smart woman ..Noone should be too much into hospitality.. Being kind is one and being too good is another. I cnt be too good :D

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  10. Hilarious and a just observation of how we behave! :) :)

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  11. Hilarious and a just observation of how we behave! We do walk our guests to the car so they just have to postpone criticising my cooking!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you so very much for reading!

      Delete
  12. This is absolutely ROFL-arious :) Oh, Red! You have out down yourself. Wait, I've said that before. Well, you've outdone, your last attempt :D
    We Indians could write an encyclopaedia of mannerisms! I'm kind of glad that I tried teaching my toddler's first words to be "Papa". Sadly, Tata prevailed. Hmm....definitely an Indian thing

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahah Tata he said? Seee I was so write!!!!!!!
      I am so happy that you liked this post :D

      Delete
  13. Haha sorry I do that, I ask my daughter to tell bye and hi but yes, it's an Indian thing. I think we take this 'Athithi Devobhava' too seriously and slyly, we are just happy to see the guest leave and we want to ensure that they have definitely gone from our house premised and don't come back citing some reason. Hilarious post RH :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. heheheh it is definitely an Indian thing!!!! We believe in forceful hospitality.Thank you so much for reading!

      Delete
  14. This is a universal prevailing problem, next only to Russia's invasion of Ukraine . Good that you brought it up to build some social awareness into the matter. But we must also recognize that the visitors have their own share of issues too, such as consuming guest-killers like squash, 19th-century-bought biscuits etc yet stay put for a while. Also another embarrassing guest situation I often come across is when the hosts proudly introduce their newly acquired Bahus(male/female) and you dont know how to greet them and strike a conversation with them.(So Abc, how does it feel being married?)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahaha this was such an amusing comment!!! SQUASH AND ROOH-AF-JAH need to be banned from the face of EARTH!

      Delete
  15. OMG! that 'bye bye bye bye' is like a hammer falling on your head! I detest it to the core.
    And whattey brilliant post, Red. :D

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    1. heheh Hammer it is indeed! Thank you for reading babe!!!!

      Delete
  16. Bidding farewell is a social courtesy but when over done may indicate relief.RH as usual among the humorous writers indulges in hyperbole to invite the smile of readers and she has successfully accomplished it in this racy piece laced with wit and sarcasm.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I am so glad u liked it Sir! U r an inspiration.

      Delete
  17. haha... my mom starts talking more when the guest is about to leave and my sister and I, including my dad, look on in despair waiting for mom to stop talking and just let the poor fellow leave!

    T for Tired-Random Thoughts Naba

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother does that too!! And I get tired of rolling my eyes!! :(

      Delete
  18. hahaha...absolutely true. I could easily relate to your post. We are really conditioned in saying bye since childhood. Never gave this a serious thought.

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    1. hahah Thank you. Glad that u could relate!

      Delete
  19. I'm definitely doing that dance when we meet. Which we should. Because otherwise I can't crush hug you for making me laugh like this :P

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    1. U dance for me like that baby? We shall definitely meet then baby!! hahahahaha!!

      Delete
  20. hahaha Red! This was truly hilarious. "Unkil ko bye bolo!" Indeed the weird stuff we do can fill books. That "Milke achcha laga," aur "ghar aayiga" has lies written all over it. Yet we still indulge in these inanities.

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    Replies
    1. We are born that way. The tuning made us that way! Hum to aise hain bhaiya!

      Delete
  21. Hahahaha Red! You are super awesome. I shall come back with a much decent comment once I finish my laughter! :D

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  22. hahahaha this is hilarious ... even my Mom won't close their door till the smoke of their car would diffuse... Loved your post :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. So all mothers are like tht! SIGH!! good to know that I am not alone!

      Delete
  23. You mean THAT is not why we keep saying "Bye"? Just to ensure that the other guy remembers that he is actually expected to leave? :)

    Hilarious post as is customary here!

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    1. hahahahahah u do tht.? hahahahahahahahahahah

      Delete
  24. We do say bye and close the door only when we can't see the person. It is an act of saying we liked that you came. So remember...when you don't like someone, you can sit on your couch and say bye. On all other occasions, behave like your grandmother. Err, mother!! :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I tried behaving like my grandmother..Tears never came :(
      Now I am fine tuned to behave like my parents :(

      Delete
  25. Red Handed, Spot on! It's been a torture on me as child as I waved my hands uncomfortable and confused. The Indian Way of saying bye as heart wanna say Athithi Kabhi Mat Ana. I used to hate that as a child. Amazing take. Totally love it:)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahaha poor u...we all r tortured tat way as kid!!
      Thnk u for reading!!!!

      Delete
  26. Oh its sacrilegious to close the door in our house till the person has disappeared from view. Have you seen people wave good bye to NRI relatives returning abroad .. oh such melodrama, such tears at the airport .. It has to be seen to be believed !

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahah that would require another blog post...the melodramatic byesin hies in airport!

      Delete
  27. Satyam! Amma makes me wave bye at people, all the while "athithi tum kab jaoge" rings in my mind. (at time a bit too loud) ;) Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahaha...u too r just like me :D
      Thanks for reading!!!!

      Delete
  28. Yes,yes... I have noticed this bye phobia across all families irrespective of states !!! And yeah, there is yet another ritual that parents teach their kids, esp in Kerala. Its giving kisses to 'uncles and aunties' while leaving. The kid is considered super smart if she gives flying kisses!! So against that one too!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. FORGET THIS BLOGPOST.. U TELL ME HOW R UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! AND THE LITTLE ONEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  29. thankfully i have been a hostlerer from a very early age so i did not have to go through all this tooo much :)

    Bikram

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Wow...and also u r abroad..that is a goooooood thing!!!!

      Delete
    2. yes that helps tooooo :) here most people say bye from inside they wont even come to the door :)

      Delete
  30. Excellent. Hilarious. One more thing I would add. When the guests are leaving, they and the hosts will stand near the front porch and talk for at least one hour.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That is another atrocity :( Thank u for reading!!!

      Delete
  31. hahaha.. from last 4 year living in a hostel so i'm saved :D .. though have some horrible memories of childhood .. another brilliant life fact :)

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    1. hahahhaha...well I hope u don't resume the act!!Thank u for reading!!!!

      Delete
  32. I am with the polar bear. A little jig goes a long way.

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    1. It definitely does! Thank u forr reading!!!!

      Delete
  33. Hah! The story of every household in India! Now you must write a companion piece to this on the Bye Byes rendered at airports and railway stations. We Indians make those classic too!

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    1. hahahah I dint want to dwell into that field..AIRPORT byes are too much! hahaha Thank u for reading!

      Delete
  34. Awesome one Red! Sometimes there's a song and dance routine too. "Mone, aa paathu padiye (Son, sing that song)" and "Innale padiche dance onnu kaniche (show us the dance you learnt yesterday)"..

    I am trying to teach my daughter to say "Hi" and "Good Morning". She vaguely says "Good Morning" now :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahahahah my acchacchan used to do that.Mole aa pattu paadi kodukku...mole show them ur drawings! hehehehehehe

      She says good morning? So cute!! Proud daddy!:)

      Delete
  35. Ummm! I wait for people to cross my door before closing it. I find it rude slamming it too soon. :p

    Talking about the rest, it's really the truth of our society. -_- Over formal and sweet bye(s). :D This was cool.

    ReplyDelete
  36. My MIL liked to stand at the gate long after a person left. I guess it must have been her Alzeimer's creeping up those days but she always said that she was "praying" for the person who just left to have a safe journey ( never mind if it was in the same neighborhood !!)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahahahhahahahaha...Thank God it was not Alzeimer'!! Let her pray! :D
      Glad u read!

      Delete
  37. LOL at that ending extra mile :D A family frnd sitting infront of tv thru out the day is the most irritating part of all and u make us laugh at all the frustrating thigns
    good job as always

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My misery is everyone's joy :P
      I am so glad u read my Afshaaaaaaaan!

      Delete
  38. I used to tell 'tata' a lot more than I used to say 'Bye Bye'

    until.. one fine morning I woke up... and realised that 'tata' are used to refer to the female breasts and can also be used to refer to the vagina. And that Tatas is a plural i.e. two breasts are Tatas.

    Now... next time you listen to a parents teaching their male kid to say 'tata bye bye' ... your blog post would gain more perspective...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TATA is how it all began...then became BYEBYE!!!
      And I dint think of it that way..TATAS...Hhhahhahahahahaha!!

      Delete
    2. well.. your reply made no sense to poor me... but then it is not easy to reply to 50+ comments and still pull out new posts week after week...

      you are on the roll... keep it up...

      Delete
    3. u only said that u used to say Tata more....So I said yes a Tata is how it all began..now it is byebye
      You also said about Tatas, female breasts thing. So I said I dint even think of it that way. :)

      Delete
  39. Too many bye, why why why? Never shall we understand, oh sigh sigh sigh :p

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  40. The never ending bye-Bubye, Jesus Christ. They are annoying. Specially when the aunties hug the life out of me at least a hundred times before I can actually vanish from their vicinity.:P
    P.S: that bear's style of bidding good bye is sexy. Gotta try it..:P :P
    P.P.S: about your comment on my post- I m sorry I din't have that option earlier on my profile. Just updated it now. The link is visible on my blog now as "Follow on google"
    (else you can save the direct link to the blog in your reading list:
    Atblink.blogspot.in)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Those smooching aunties r the worst!!
      I am glad u for the widget fixed!

      Delete
  41. Bye...... I think this should be written down as "one of the traditions of India"

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  42. This is much better than the English Bye :/

    It is rather odd, constipated, should I hug you or hug you not or stand ten miles apart from of bye!

    I hear you though :) And this is exactly how it happens.
    DO NOT CLOSE THE DOOR YET!

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    1. I want the english bye...they r atleast not made up! :D

      Delete
  43. Ok so if you drop by at my place, I would exactly do what the polar bear is doing and trust me you would put me as the black polar bear in your next post ! :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. i would love u more if u do that! hehehe

      Delete
  44. OMGGGG I LITERALLY LAUGHED READING THIS. It happens here at my place except that my grandmother doesn't cry. well I don't really mind saying good bye but when I am working and busy and someone asks me to drop the guests to the gate, it really annoys me. but we cant help it. desi families we have. :D

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    1. I am so glad u read!!! I am so happy ur grandma doesnt believe in the crying drama! :D

      Delete
  45. hahahahhahaha! ungil? hahahahaha! it took me 2mins to understand, that you really wrote this :P well, it is so bloody nice! :)
    And it's really true.. you know what i do in this situation, i move to the washroom! and come out when ungil's and anti's are gone :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahaha UNGIL only...mallu accent zindabad!!!
      I need to initiate the washroom excuse!

      Delete
  46. LOL this made me laugh. Well written and 100% true. Especially the indian parent teaching kids how to say bye thing. No wonder we have commitment issues.

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    1. hahha bye to everything!! commitment issues all the way!!

      Delete
  47. The gif is not a pic it's EPIC!!! :P
    Awesome post!! The Indian reception committee is known for ever lasting byes, force feeding the guests till their nose and giving a table full of snacks, sweets and shitty tea (when all I want was a good hot cup of coffee!)

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    1. haha I am so happy u liked it!!! SHITTY TEA is the worst thing ever!!!!

      Delete
  48. Lol! :D
    That was a brilliant description. I could almost imagine the scene! :D

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  49. you didn't cover the talk the family and the guests having standing at the gate while the guests are leaving, which lasts for about 15 mins to a few hours depending on the seriousness of the talks underway

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  50. Hi!

    hahaha! that was super! such a minute and wonderful observation about our hypocrite society! I often act like that at the time of good-byes :P

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  51. Great post!! Love your words!

    XOXO!

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  52. Hilarious Red! Every word of what you wrote is true and all this when we claim "Atithi Devo Bhava' is the national slogan:)

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    1. hahaha national slogan that we actually do not believe in :P

      Delete
  53. I think my comment has vanished. Still :-)

    Indians are a dramatic lot. The Hi's and Bye's and the ritual of talking half an hour after saying bye, at the front door is something that we will never let go. And we definitely take more than 5 mins to say a simple Bye :-D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. haha... we all fine tuned that way!!! Thank u so much for reading!!

      Delete
  54. Hahhahahahah.. Our parents will never truly understand that we too can get embarrassed. Gosh!!! xD
    When the guest decides to leave. I'm usually at my best behavior and bid goodbyes with the biggest smile because yeah, I'm genuinely happy at that moment. So I guess it's a positive tradition. :P

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    1. hahahahah....if the guest comes with some goodies.. I am more interested in running back inside and open it before my brother does. Yes I am like tht :P

      Delete
  55. I'm feeling terrible after reading this write-up. I only say bye once before I shut the door.

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  56. Hehehe! I loved the 'bye bolo ungil ko' I mean, did he really say that? My God, what a moment you would have had :p

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  57. LOL! Hope we don't overdo the shedding of tears while saying Bye, else the guest will come back & not wanna cause distress!!!

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  58. LOL! The bear is cute!
    When my bestie visits me I don't close the door until she hits the ground-floor button on the elevator. I feel it looks bad closing the door while the person who visited you is waiting outside your house for the elevator. It's like closing the door on someone's face. That's how I feel.

    ReplyDelete
  59. This was Hilarious! :D
    I can never leave without commenting on any of your posts, you are that amazing!

    I never really realized how much this 'Bye' has been ruling our lives. But then I have you to remind me of these :P Thankfully, I am not pulled in that much to wave off people out of my house. In fact, often I just don't care to even check out who the guest is :P

    Enough now. Bye! :D

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  60. I read both your posts, but, couldn't comment earlier. Red, I did say bye-bye to a lot of people just a few days back and also waved to them. :P

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  61. Cool topic, fun writing, hilarious, brings smile, and challenges the general norm in society. Similar if not the same is the case here in my country, the neighborhood of India.

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  62. Cool topic, funny writing, absolutely hilarious. :-) Also, challenges the general norm in society. Yes, here in my part of the world, your neighborhood, is the same situation. We also say bye even if someone is just going to the local dispensary shop to buy bunch of strepsils. In fact, I go there, and my younger bro says it to me. After all, he gets a chance to use the laptop. :-)

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  63. This post has been selected for the Tangy Tuesday Picks this week. Thank You for an amazing post! Cheers! Keep Blogging :)

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  64. I will probably choose polar bear type byes.... Sala koi to humare talent ki kadr kare!!!!

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  65. I remember that movie " atithi tum jab jaoge " where konkana overdoes crying.... And atithi can't resist but goes back to their home...

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