Friday, 10 October 2014

A MAN & HIS HAIRSTYLE.....


“The worse the haircut, the better the man. John Green
Men have been taking John Green quite seriously. At any given point of the day, if I look around, I can find men with hairstyles that can make a poet forget everything about poetry and force an atheist to pick up a cross. May be I know nothing about style.

Back when I was a child, I remember judging boys based on their hairstyles. Long hair meant drummer/guitarist/ kidnapper/ don’t take the Parle G biscuit he offered you/ Tamil movie villain’s side kick; while an Anil Kapoor style haircut meant decent/ God fearing/ accept the Parle G biscuit that is offered/ saint who will one day crack the IIT exams/hero who will save the girl from the Tamil movie villain’s long haired side kick. Life was simple back then. But as I grew up, barbers around the world began to commit serious scissor mistakes, paving way to some questionable styles. It was all approved in the name of Fashion. When Beckham got himself a Mohawk, the Indian male population went berserk and ran a trimmer on the sides of their heads leaving a row of hair on the middle which was then styled with some Parachute coconut oil.

But nothing hit the Indian hair scene as much as the word ‘Spikes’ did. Mani, our gardener from Trichy was the first one to get spikes. Actually no, I remember how back when I had a boy cut, every morning  meant staring at the hair strands standing up at odd places and putting them back in place with the help of tap water or my saliva, whichever was nearer. Spikes make my tongue sweat.

My brother recently got himself a ‘Honey Singh’ haircut, where the top portion is kept long and the sides barely there. To state the fact, my brother looks like an Indian version of Frankenstein. Since he is a teenager living in an age where the newspapers are filled with reports on children committing suicide over simple reasons like getting scolded, my parents have accepted his personal preference towards mad kick hairstyles.

I want to blame our cute oriental neighbours for this.  They look grand in everything they sport.  Straight hair, front bangs, messy hair-dos, random rainbow hair colour, spikes and punk influenced haircuts; it looks like they are custom made for every single thing. But that is not our case. No Sir, we certainly not that blessed. Sport a messy hairdo and they mistake you for a street urchin. Get an Emo haircut and your mother will check the yellow pages to contact the local Tantrik. Use excessive gel to style your hair and your grandmother would innocently ask if you were licked on the head by a cow. We my brown friend are definitely not that lucky.

My point is that I miss simple men. Men who are not obsessed with the shape of their eyebrows, the hairlessness of their chest or the smoothness of their jaw line. I want men who respect their two day stubble and indulge in mathematics that is not limited to counting the packs on their abs. I want men with hair styles that make them look terrestrial.

I also miss seeing my brother with a haircut that affirms that he indeed has a human skull underneath all that hair.


Somewhere, Anil Kapoor smiles. 



P.S-  RIP my favourite Mr.R.K.Narayan. Malgudi days will always be read, whatever stage of life I am in.

P.P.S- I wonder why I chose litigation. No time at all. I had to somehow update this blog. :( 

97 comments:

  1. A cute piece as usual, Red!
    May we sport the hairstyle that suits us fine in style! (so that no one asks if a cow has licked our head!)

    RK Narayan is one of my favorite authors, who continues to live through his books.

    Do keep updating your Blog :)

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    1. heheheeh Thank you so much for being the first to read!!!!!
      I definitely shall be more regular. :D

      Delete
  2. Nice! ....Strange are the ways how childhood perceptions....barber perceptions....grandmother perceptions... all turn out to be so similar across lives and cultures from era to era. i know exactly what u r speaking about. Totally empathize with you RED.

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    1. I am glad you liked it!!
      Thanks you!!!!

      Delete
  3. Nice to see you writing about men's hairdo and not about the fairness cream for men! I belong to the leauge where only crew cut was accepted in uniform and that has not changed much over the years! BTW it was a good analysis, Red:)

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    1. hahaha that is a very delicate topic toooo!!!!
      Crew cuts are smart!!!

      Delete
  4. hahah! boys are more conscious than girls and mens parlors are always full! haha! Lovely post, enjoyed every bit :D :D

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    1. ahahah men go to parlours more I believe!!!
      Thank you!!

      Delete
  5. My cousin did a Neymar hair cut during the world cup which is somewhat similar to what Honey Singh sports and late when Brazil had an embarrassing defeat he trimmed it to hide any evidence of the hair do and cried that day a lot when Brazil lost the game...

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    1. hahahahha smart cousin you got there. Poor boy!!:P

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  6. Indeed, Red! Simplicity has gone for a toss nowadays! :/
    I miss simple men around too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you find some....tell me too. :P
      I am on a lookout.

      Delete
  7. This is so funny and I agree with you!

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  8. Hahha.. I know!!! Whenever aunties and uncles call us the messed up generation, I shamelessly nod along. We are pretty messed up! -_-

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Our next generation will make us look like saints!

      Delete
  9. So cute. I actually agree. Men obsessed with hairstyles is just uggh.

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  10. So...you mean to say...there is still hope for guys like me...? Hallelujah, I say! If only your post had come ...let's say...10 years earlier, I might have found myself a super model. On a separate note, I think my rather "down-to-the-brow" hairstyle, neatly combed back is probably what my wife saw in me, when we were in college. Interesting post, Red. As always.

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    1. DOWN TO THE BROW.....I am killing some serious grey cells trying to imagine you like that! PICTURE TO BANTA HAI!!
      Send!!!

      Delete
  11. hmm its really strange to speak about hair cuts when most men are suffering from hair loss and thinking of best hair transplant method to get back their hair.i too have hair fall but mintop 5% or minoxidil saves me from going bald though hair fall is not hereditary in my clan and its due to stress and pollution.

    i have only one regular hair cut from my childhood,it changes only during summers called SUMMER CUT to avoid excess sweating from my head.my dad was so strict when it comes to decency or discipline and i never tried different coz it suits my persona.

    WHAT'S HAIR STYLE,i never had one or tried one ,hehehehehe.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahahaha I had summer cut tooooo...
      Thank you so much for reading!!!

      Delete
  12. I echo your sentiments there, Red. Which is why I'm thankful for the simple haired guy in my life :) Good to read you after so lone!

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  13. Well, I have no interest in styling my hair any other way than I have been doing for ages :) so the atheist can safely keep the cross away I guess.

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  14. Oh i know this comment ! I had a boy cut too till I was a teenager...and have heard all these comments.. I have dealt with hair on mornings that prefer to stand perpendicular to my head when the school bus honks outside. It spoiled many of my school days !

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    1. But boycuts were so easy to manage na. I hate long hair. But Amma says that I can no more keep it. :(

      Delete
  15. What's more irritating than a crazy hair-do is the dropping pants. They are sliding down at an alarming rate. There are some who try the style with trousers as well. What the f...fashion!!!



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    1. Dropping pants ki toh mat baat karo. My parents are tired of my brother showing his kaccha.

      Delete
  16. Hahaha. Metrosexuality is on the rise! I know the feel, of wanting a simple haired man. The number of haircuts they have these days makes me all confused.... I mean now how will one decide whether to take the Parle-G biscuits from the man or not? :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Wahi toh. I like Parle G so much. :(

      Delete
  17. You my friend are God's gift to blogger! I once dated a guy with long hair (The John Abraham kinda hair), and once while at his place I had to use the loo and I saw that his bathroom was stacked with hair products. I almost mistook it for a salon. Said good bye to him immediately.

    Next I met a guy who gave two hoots about his hair. And he did not even bother if my hair was looking good. He sported his stubble in style and did not care about the sun tanning his delicate face. He was all that I wanted. A guy!! So I married him :D

    P.S: I'd kill to see you in spikes now :P

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I hate men with long hair..they make me conscious about my own hair. :(
      Thank you for being such a good friend and a reader. ;)
      You married an amazing man. Lucky you and lucky him.

      Delete
  18. I used to have a boy cut until 11th std. It was a shame that people complimented my brother for his hair and not me..:P :P Thank god those days are long gone..:)
    Loved your post Red..:) Man should infact have a decent and nice hair cut..:)

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    1. Hehehehe 11th standard tak boycut? Damn!!! You profile picture shows me a beautiful girl with amazing hair. I am jealous.

      Delete
  19. How? I mean just how do you come up with such posts?? You are one amazing woman !!

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  20. The tendency to attract people by their looks have been the sole reason behind the acquisition of this insanely awesome(read:weird) hair styles. Well, I am also part of it. And clearly, that hasn't worked out in my favor ever.

    Though, the problem of donning a "sexy" hairstyle is becoming old story these days. And the problem is called hair loss. My friends are damn scared to use anything, which in return could lead to hair loss.

    Btw, as always a delightful post. And @P.P.S, I guess everything will fall in place, hopefully soon enough.
    Take Care. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have long hair no? :P
      Hairloss is a devil.....
      Thankyou soooooooo much.

      Delete
  21. Even I was under the impression that artists sport a very different hairstyle. But yes, anyday the heart beats for the simple men with simple, presentable styles :-)

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    1. hehe you said it. Simple men rock!!!! Thanks!

      Delete
  22. I also grew up differentiating men based on their hair length. I can never get myself to like or date a guy with long hair :P

    And what a delightful read, this was! :)

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    1. Me tooooo. Long hair men make me self conscious. :P
      y date a man who has better hair than u!!

      Delete
  23. Haha Loove my unkempt rugged look but shuddering now..I've modeled my hair on Big B but now m smiling coz for a change it's short hair the spike way. Btw, cut my hair after 9 months:)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. UNKEPT RUGGED LOOK is hot!!!!
      Keep it but yeh 9 mths is too long. :P

      Delete
  24. All my life I sported only 2 hairstyles. Either a short-wont-budge-for-anything or a long-wont-stand-in-a-place one. And the varying lengths in between. I've had people tell me that they envy my hair. They like the straight, silky hair that I have. And I thought curly or wavy hair were better. But that's the thing. We all want what we don't have. :-)

    Also I think women have more choices for hairstyles than men. But then, that's me. I'd never sport a mohawk. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You have straight,silky hair? I hate you. YOU LUCKY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

      Delete
  25. Interesting and the point is nicely put across.
    Sometimes, in the name of fashion, people tend to forget whom they actually are!

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  26. Aah! The weary hairy scary tales. You must see the hairstyles the young boys sport in the hills up north. Hair licked by cow or the barber oops stylist, I mean, shut shop in the middle of the haircut is the only probable reason I can think of, for their truly weird hairstyles! :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. HAHAHA or the barber was stoned.
      People are losing it!

      Delete
  27. And my husband has manny haircut as u have already seen. It's way terrestrial than his singham look ... I have resigned to fate :)
    Totally enjoyed reading your post. I wonder if you put across your case in courts with similar arguments :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hehehe cute!!
      I shudder and stutter in court. :P

      Delete
  28. Anupam Kher is somewhere sitting in disappointment after reading this post.

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  29. hahaha Red. Totally loved this hairy post. Seriously, what is wrong with boys these days? I shudder when I see some of the teens sporting mohawk.

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    1. I shudder when I see my brother. :P

      Delete
  30. The Anil Kapoor haircut is my evergreen favorite. Thankfully, I got one such simple man whose haircut never tries out any of the wierdo ones and am grateful for my guy's barber for making no mistakes with the scissor :)

    Loved this post to the word!

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    1. haha may you husband's barber never make mistakes.
      Thankyou sooooooooooo much!

      Delete
  31. They say the same thing about my choice of law.
    :P

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  32. I'll tell you what I always tell my daughter. Men like these do exist. Just be patient, my child.

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  33. I have seen men who are conscious about their hairstyles even after they go bald.. haha.. interesting post, Red.. enjoyed totally.. :D

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hahhahahahaha men and their hair obsession!!
      Thankyou!

      Delete
  34. Some I guess follow the motto - "So many hairstyles. So less time" :-p

    Lovely post as always Red :-)

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  35. ROFL! I have 2 examples in my house. My brother, who thinks he is a dude and my husband, who took my mother's comment so seriously that he thinks he is a fauji. Gone are the days of simple boy cut.

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    1. Fauji haircut is hot no? I want to see your Dad's haircut. :P

      Delete
  36. Makes me remember the tantrums I threw as a kid; how badly I wanted a mushroom cut, while my dad would have already told the barber that it will be a close crop!

    PS: Was this post inspired by the "nummas" you found in Kochi while hunting for jhumkis and trinkets?! ;)

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  37. Long hair meant drummer/guitarist/ kidnapper/ don’t take the Parle G biscuit he offered you!


    Hahahahaha! loved this :D
    Truly a lovely read.
    New on your blog and loving it!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thankyou sooooooooo much. Welcome to my humble blog. :D

      Delete
  38. Loved the write up. But I am told bald/clean shaven is sexy.

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    1. I dont prefer bald..but yeh, to each their own. :D
      Thankssssssssss

      Delete
  39. For the most part I do not care about my hair style. But I do try to be clean-shaven at least 360 days in an year. I might have been born in Egypt in a previous life :-)

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    1. hahaha 360 days a year clean shaven..hahah cute!!!

      Delete
  40. Utterly funny. If in real your grandmother comments like that, then I can see from where you have got the guts and bones to write all these. Licked by a cow!! Can't believe! What we would miss red head! You are our saviour!

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    1. My grandmother should have been a stand up comedian.
      You are a sweetheart.
      Thankyou!

      Delete
  41. Those look like my middle-school photos LOL

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  42. Haha.. Honey Singh haircut must be so hilarious (btw can't stand that guy and his songs). Yep agree with you, I see men more obsessed about their hair than women these days. :D

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    1. I hate honey singh!!!!
      Thankyou for reading!!!!

      Delete
  43. Yes, simple men are better.

    This made me smile :-)

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  44. They feel that people will look at them if it is weird and whacky.
    The only consolation I see here is that once their hair line recedes, they have to humbly forgo all those fancy stuff as wigs with these cuts are not yet made. Maybe then they will turn over to a simple pony tail.

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    1. pony tail...heheheheh I hate them except when they r on cool Goan uncles. :P

      Delete
  45. Perhaps the gap between men and women is fast bridging! Vanity for them means just as much :P

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  46. haha so true Red....I don't really find men who are too obsessed with their hair or looks....I like my man to be oblivious to his looks you know..stubble and broad shoulders does it for me !:D

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    1. stubble and broad shoulders...ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 So awesome. :D

      Delete
  47. Hello Red....Let me admit something very genuinely here...I am a new "bee" in the blogging world and have been reading "some" blogs often these days and I must say none of the blogs impressed me so much that I really want to read complete blog and each of the posts...You have chosen a very popular topic ....this am sure many girls who do not know the "Fashion" per say think about....what is it to do with all such weird hairstyles....I have so much to learn reading your blogs... :)

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  48. ah ! i missed reading you people so much ! especially your fun filled posts like these :D

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  49. You are hilarious! There, I can't pay a bigger compliment - except perhaps tell someone their hairstyle is so kEwl.

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  50. Haha. Such an adorable post! My family is full of the kind of men you are searching. They are excellently simple and intellectual. I was thinking all the while about the men wearing earrings, with funky hairdos flaunting high sound of dhishtik dhishtik coming out of their car's stereo! Oh well Honey Singh--- i am trying to be at peace with him!!!

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