Thursday, 17 March 2016

MRI Scan For Enlightenment.....



From within the confines of my office cubicle, I have dreamt of a secret escape. An escape to a place so edifying that it forces me to seek answers to the glorious mysteries of life. A place that makes me realize my deepest fears and understand my core beliefs. And then I entered a magnetic resonance imaging scanner.

A doctor recently recommended that I get an MRI scan of my spine done, so that he could point at a picture and declare that I have a slip disc. At the risk of sounding like a vegetable, I have to accept that I was excited. Something about experiencing something I never have, excited me. The doctor suggested that I change into a hospital robe. That excited me too because hospital robes are generally loose and airy, giving you the privilege of feeling thin and frail. I needed to feel so.

I removed every little metal that was on me, including the all-encompassing bra because the male nurse reminded me that the hooks might be of metal and metal isn’t treated well by the scanner. I could have told him that the hooks in mine were plastic but then decided to just go with his assumption. I was made to lie down on a motorized bed while the nurse gave me the necessary directions which included ‘Do not move for the next 15 minutes’, ‘Here, press this is you feel uneasy’ and ‘No, your eyes wont dissolve if you keep them open’. My ears were plugged and my legs were comfortably tucked inside a blanket. Then he left the scanning room.

Gently, the bed started to move into the cylindrical scanner, head first. I lay on the bed staring at the entrance of the scanning room that led to the world outside. There was a sense of calm and a privileged form of loneliness, the kind a baby might feel inside its mother’s womb, i.e, if the baby could feel and think at that time. And then the bed started moving again, taking me well inside the cylindrical dome.

All was well until the machine started to make a deafening noise. I froze inside, betting that what I was hearing was the emergency alarm, screaming that there was something insidiously wrong with the machine. By then I was fully inside the dome, with no light visible at the end of the tunnel. Just me, a remote in my hand and the machine screaming from all sides. My mind decided to make it even worse.

My Hippocampus started playing ‘Final Destination’ and all its sequels. The scene where two women die inside their tanning booths was particularly urging my bladder to burst. May be this is how Deadpool felt inside that glass box. May be I would wake up to be an Avatar. My heart begged me to press the big red button proudly sitting on the remote, but my intuition asked me to have a little faith.

Slowly my body adapted to the chaos around me and my mind started to tune it into a psychedelic trance track. My heart swayed with it and then right in between my artistic endeavour, a sudden realization hit me. I AM BLOODY ALONE IN THIS.

Life has been a little tumultuous of late, especially since I am expected to make decisions that are in the best interest of everybody who matter to me. Lying inside this plastic dome made me realize that through our struggles, we would be alone. No one can get an MRI scan for me. No one will suffer my decisions but me. People will love you, press their opinions on you and pray for you. But what they cannot do is live your life for you and suffer for you. So why take a life altering decision pressurized by the world when in the end, it would be you alone living through it all.

Who knew an MRI scan could be enlightening. May be there is a personal Buddha inside each one of us. Bodh Gaya might be too far, but an MRI scanner isn’t.

Book a scan now!


Image Courtesy- Somewhere in Pinterest.

25 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to it ... Past few days have been the worst n when I visit hospitals which is often I do a lot of thinking just like u...
    I wish u recover soon both from the physical n other injury as well!

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  2. Awe! An MRI can be this enlightening?! But seriously, no one is going to live our life, no one is going to be there in any shitty situation we face because of our decisions. So why choice something which we are not happy about? Live life as you feel like!! <3

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  3. Ohh...first of all, take care..I had an MRI when I was in the 8th standard coz my right hand started giving me trouble writing... Anyways, what you realised in there is what you need to remember always..no matter how well intentioned or full of love advice is , at the ene of the day, you need to live the outcome of the advice so never do it for someone else...hugs <3

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  4. Book a scan now!
    If you have $5000! Lol(mostly laughing but with some tears).

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  5. I am thankful my only MRI experience was for the knee with my head and upper body being well out of the confines of the machine. Even then, the idea of lying absolutely still or having to go through another 15 minute cycle was slightly terrifying with me trying to hold my breath in the fear of moving :P. Loved reading your humorous take on experience, and the resulting enlightenment! Hope the issue behind the MRI resolves soon, take care!

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  6. Hah! An enlightening MRI scan. Who woulda thought! (you, of course, who else woulda thought!)
    This almost wants me to take a scan but really, I'm too terrified of scans, and hospitals in general.
    Seriously though, take care!

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  7. "No one can get an MRI scan for me. No one will suffer my decisions but me. People will love you, press their opinions on you and pray for you. But what they cannot do is live your life for you and suffer for you. So why take a life altering decision pressurized by the world when in the end, it would be you alone living through it all."

    This is the best thing, I read this morning. Urges me to stay strong and believe in myself. :)

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  8. Hope the spine is all fine and nothing to whine about..

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  9. These experiences make us realise that every moment of life is worth living with the dawn of each new day! Take care,Red.

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  10. O missed you Red.. And an MRI.. I got it done 5 years back of my knee and that alone made me so nervous when half of my body was outside the dome..
    'We have to suffer for ourselves' makes so much of sense suddenly.. We don't realize it too often but that's the ugly truth!
    I wish you a speedy recovery:)
    Take care..

    Cheers

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  11. I am pretty sure the whole experience was contrary to how light you make it seem. Maybe the enlightenment you received there was the reason behind why you got a slip disc! You have now learnt a valuable lesson in life! :)

    Take care, Red! :)

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  12. I know this so well. All the aunties who tell me to have two more kids ATLEAST , will not come to the labor room with me...nor will they be around changing diapers at 3 am !

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  13. Hope the results were good. I have never had an MRI but being in a hospital even for a simple test makes me pensive, pondering over life's truths. Of course, what you have said is correct. Make your own decisions but incorporate the inputs of loved ones if they make sense.

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  14. That scan sounds terrifying. I'm not a fan of confined places - make them dark and unfamiliar and it's a nightmare. And you go and have an epiphany!!! That's impressive. You're one cool person. I would have been totally freaking. You're right though, it IS a bit like life and you are alone to bear the consequences of your actions. Good luck with your back Red. Get well soon.

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  15. Slip disc? The body is not able to handle all that gorgeousness I see :)

    Take care my dear. Yeah it is in moments like this that we are enlightened. When everything seems to be collapsing, one thing will work right. And that will turn out to be the best decision ever.

    You are not alone in anything. Yes, we are not here to go through it for you. But we will definitely provide you the love and support and give you the strength to go through it. Well, atleast I will :)

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  16. Was guffawing loudly at the image ! Where do you find such pictures that resonate so well with what you have to say :)

    Wonderful post. Humor is in your blood :)

    And take care of that spine !


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  17. Haha, that's quite an interesting place to be enlightened! Truth rings in every word that you've written, and I myself have been pondering over the same for a really long time. What our loved ones advice us to do seems to be the best for us in their perspective, not necessarily in our's.

    I often used to wonder how an MRI scan feels like, and now I know it feels enlightening! :p
    Love this post! And I hope you're well. :)

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  18. Oh dear Red! I loved reading this post. Thanks for writing this, it was really enlightening. The wisest of the thoughts come to our mind when we are at the weirdest places. :) Feel better soon.

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  19. My father says the same, we can decide, push you into anything. But you have to live. So don't agree unless you are sure about it... A great message.. As usual conveyed in your signature style!

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  20. I am very wary of medical procedures. I have gone through the whole labor and delivery process, but am still scared of a routine blood test. :|

    On another note: We do get the deepest insights at the most random places - most of my eureka moments are in the shower. :P

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  21. Oh I do hope you are okay. I can imagine the loneliness you are talking about. Yes, in the end we are all alone. Lovely post Red, in the light of the fact that you decide to give your experience a humor spin !

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  22. Got my mri done several years back. It was the same, only the duration being long... you had too wait with your eyes open for 40 minutes hearing the rice mill like noise (or the machine chomping through your nerves) sans remote and eat plugs) when the tech comes in and you think it's over only for him to say "I'm just changing the electrode another 40 minutes to go". You begin to wonder about the will you failed to write before you got sucked in the damn machine...

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  23. Hey, Red. Do not get yourself coaxed in to marriage. seriously... I know this is what it is about.

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  24. Lol! Well you got some enlightenment there but personally, I am scared of that machine. Been there thrice and each time I feel I will do well but I end up panicking and VT has to step near that bed and he has been allowed to hold my big toe to ensure I am not alone in that room. Gosh!
    I am still wondering how you see humor there ;)

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  25. Hey, you had a free enlightenment session thrown in with the Scan. Jokes apart, hope all is well. Profound realisations come upon us at the most unexpected times.. Take care!

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Spit It Out I Say !!!