Saturday, 9 September 2017

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED SO FAR




I don’t think I need to give an explanation, but then again, I think this blog deserves to know why I went missing. My posts if you scroll down, would give you a highlight of the kind of person I am and if you were to notice, most of the posts had something to do with marriage and how I was constantly trying to evade it. I am not a huge supporter of the institution of marriage.

I started this blog when I entered a relationship and I kept this blog alive to kind of pen down what my reality is. I wanted this blog to in some way remind me of what my principles are and what I should stay as. I have always been a middle class kind of soul- middle class thoughts, middle class beliefs and middle class expectations. As a teen, I somewhat had a road-map all set in my mind about my life. I will grow up, get into an average college, get average marks, get an average job and marry the first man my parents point me to. But as I wrote the shoddy things that this blog is plastered with, I realized that I crave for better things and to be honest, I wasn’t aware of these things until I wrote it out.

So I entered a relationship at the same time this blog started and I had no notions of taking the relationship or this blog till the very end. Basically, I wasn’t serious with either of those and I kept both of them a secret from almost everyone I knew. I gave up on my relationship quite a lot of times because I knew that the average living was secure and socially acceptable. I also frequently left blogging because I didn’t want to write like someone else and live like someone just the opposite. But I allowed myself the luxury of going with the flow.

So one fine day, over 8 years into the relationship, my mother asked me why I wasn’t keen to marry. It took me two hours to finally tell my parents over the call that it wasn’t any medical condition or lesbianism that kept me from marrying, but was a Christian boy who has been on my mind since a long long time. They didn’t take things well as was honestly expected. I wasn’t a person who believed in eloping nor was I someone who was looking for a quick fix. I wasn’t dying to marry anyway. They gave me a year to revisit my decision, while a few astrologers were visited side by side. The astrologers didn’t like me and my Christian boy. So I broke up and patched again. Then I broke up five more times and patched again. But yes I kept wanting to get back again. The Christian boy just should there knowing I am too stubborn to let go of him. 

I stopped blogging last year at the same time when everyone I knew found out that I was trying to make a decision that wasn’t least bit average. I don’t like my secrets disclosed. I like my privacy and when suddenly everyone started questioning, I did lose my shit mind.  Things weren’t all nice and glossy, but you soon realize that your parents when given some time, start to understand you in ways that you never thought they could. Exactly a year later, my Christian boy was accepted into the family.

We planned our wedding, got married before the registrar of marriages under the Special marriage Act, had a reception in a nice hotel where we exchanged rings and smiled till the cameraman gave up. All this happened on July 5th. Both of us don’t believe in the institution of marriage but both of us do like being together. I don’t exactly remember a past without him. Cliché eh? 

I owe a lot to this blog. It has been a mirror to me. Never have I before given an in-depth analysis of my life in any of my posts, but every time I wrote anything here, it kind of instilled confidence.

I am not much of a writer and like I have always maintained, this is just a blog and I am just a blogger.

P.S- How have you guys been, that is, if you guys are still around. 

P.P.S- Do you like the new blog header? A gorgeous illustrator Tasneem Amiruddin made it for me

Image Courtesy- tenor.com. 

92 comments:

  1. Oh my god Red. This is huge! Many many congratulations to both of you ��
    Kept checking your blog on and off over the past year. Such a surprise, and yet so good to see this heartwarming post.
    I am a sucker for happy endings ��

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    1. Hahha even I am a sucker for happy endings though most of the time I wonder what a happy ending actually is. Thank you for visiting this blog now and then.

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  2. Hearty congratulations!!! Best wishes for everlasting happiness and abundant prosperity.
    Your posts were truly missed.I hope you would be able to write frequently.To dispel any doubt in your mind,you are a brilliant writer,KP's envy and highly popular!!Good luck in all that you do.

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    1. Thank you!! You have always been a constant support

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  3. Wow, that is wonderful news. Cheer up, girl! Being average is awesome, I always strive to be average in this perfect world.

    Congrats and welcome back. Looking forward to more marriage related posts, now that you are married ;) :)

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    1. Thanks. Average is something I never wanted to be though that realization hit me late. haha yes, I shall write now!

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  4. Yaaay you are back 😘

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  5. Congratulations on your love marriage! may God give you all the happiness. Interesting header and as usual, cool post! :)

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  6. I loved this write up without understanding many 'shoddy things' as I was not a regular here( the same way I am not being regular on my blog!no other reason.) But, but, but....I know you.. remember catching you red handed at some comment or some post of mine and remember being tempted by your words ... AND, I love that you have taken this decision, Red. Soulmates exist and it's rarest of rare to meet that special one at the right time! After all, even the MOST perfect soulmates don't look THAT appealing after she is twice divorced and he, may be thrice! *rolling eyes*
    ...Just, Ignore the rant, Accept Sincere and Hearty wishes for your life and blog...sort of makes Everything. :D

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    1. Even I was not a regular here. So same pinch! You made me quite curious about your story with your comment here!

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  7. Congratulations Red. That's awesome. Btw, I got married on the 6th July many moons ago. So close. Wish you the best ahead.

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    1. Oh ...Easy to remember dates now!!! Thanks a lot Alka!

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  8. Congratulationsss!!! I would love to read your funny take on weddings, martiage and everything middle class about it 😊😊
    Good to see you!

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    1. I am on it now!!!! Middle class it surely was. Thanks :D

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  9. I posted on ur wall to know why u were MIA. I myself wasn't blogging much but always looked FWD to read u and waited for new post... Finally today the blog woke up And m so happy to read this ! God bless u both.. yes no relationship is easy..may u work on it and stay happy. I myself have a news . M a new mother... Hoping to dust my blog soon too and do write more now


    Much love

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    1. I did see your post and it did make me want to write but sigh the situation!!!!
      You are a new mommy? How exciting it must be!!!!!!! I am so happy for u!

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  10. Wow! You're back V. I'm beyond excited. My favorite girl is writing again. You already know I love you and your writing. I've waited so long for this post. Wohoo!

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    1. Hey beautiful. I love you immensely!

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  11. Well, I am glad on what happened. You see everything has a reason. Isn't is great that the guy stood by you and is now a part of your family? I am so happy to see you here. Been a long time that I came over to this space and when I saw that mail that there is a new post, I could stop clicking :) Hugs and always happy to be here!

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    1. I am glad you came by. I was worried if anyone would still read this little blog of mine. How have you been?

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  12. Welcome back daaaahling!!! Mmuuuhhhhmmaaaaa! And congrats to you too😍

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  13. Oh Girl! This is HUGE. I am so happy for you. 😘 Congrats on following your heart and doing what was right. Definitely so much happened during your MIA time. Should definitely catch up. And once again congrats to you and your Christian Boy. 😍

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    1. I do really need to catch up with you. As for following my heart, I still dont know what I followed, my mind or my heart. Both of them may be.
      Thanks!!!!

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  14. Wow, Red. I missed your writing and wondered from time to time where you had vanished. Good that you wrote this post. Hearty congratulations! You are married now. :) Matters of the heart are so complex. Sometimes they defy all logical reasoning. Glad that everything ended well for you. Wish you the best for the future. So good to have you back.

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    1. Matters of the heart truly are complex. I am glad you thought of me. :)

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  15. Ah...missed you! Glad you are back... And married... :D

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  16. So glad to see you back here, Red. Hearty congratulations! I opened Facebook and saw your post and landed here. Such huge news you shared. Though you blog rather inconsistently, your posts are worth the wait. See you around.

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    1. hey hey how have u been?!! Thanks for landing here :D

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  17. Congratulations! So so so happy for you. And I fully understand what you would have been through. May all obstacles be removed from your path and may the two of you find the same comfort in each other. God bless! ��

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    1. Thanks a lot for your affirming words :)

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  18. Hey Red ! Welcome back and Congrats ! Glad it worked out for you on your terms. Hope to read a lot more from you :)

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  19. Woohooo Red. This is BIG BIG news. Loved your post - no one can say things the way you can - the way you make 'average' so warm and sweet and loveable and that just goes to show how non-average you are. Oh and congratulations.

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    1. How awesome art thou for saying te things you did. Thanks a lot Tulika. How have you been?

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  20. Hey! I missed reading you posts :-) Welcome back and CONGRATULATIONS :-) I'm so happy for you! May you both be blessed with all the luck in the world! :-)

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    1. Hey Hey Ashwin. Thaaaaaaaaaaanks. I missed reading your posts equally.

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  21. Congratulations, Red! <3 Strangely, just two days ago, I was looking at our pic together and wondered what you were up to. Hugs!

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    1. Hahaha. Green theory was the first time we met. I really do look forward to meet you again!

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  22. Mere Shoorma Bhopali,

    Congrats for the new innings of your life. Your blog posts were missed, thank you for coming back. Wishing you both a good time together today, tomorrow and the whole life. God bless :)

    Now, you both can elope together :P

    P.S. : Your post can give new hopes to many others :)

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    1. Hey hey.....things get better with time. I know it does!!

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  23. Omg you are back ...you are back... Ohhh it's so nice to hear from you again. And look at you dropping a bombshell like that... Congratulations my dear... Yeah parents need time... They kinda need to get used to the idea that what's going to happen isn't normal. In my case I had a crying mom and dad stuck in a tug of war between me and mom. But all is well 😀 again heartiest congratulations 😀😀😀❤❤❤ and since when did you become average. You were never average.
    The header is gorgeous... That's the first thing I noticed.

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    1. Heeeeeeeeeey beautiful Yogi!!! I am curious about your story now. Link me up please?!!!

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  24. Never been a great follower of the blogs these days.
    But, somehow, I am happy that I stumbled on your fb update.
    A big congrats and wish you both all the best

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    1. That is such a genuine thing to say. Thanks a lot!!!!!

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  25. Congrats on your wedding, and welcome back! Now I need to feel inspired by you too. Will start by resurrecting my own comatose blog first. And after that, I will start stalking outside some churches looking for a nice Christian girl for myself. I haven't riled my parents in a while. Thank you for the idea.

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    1. May you find a Christian girl in somewhere other than church. I found mine in Orkut :P
      How have you been?

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  26. You two make a fetching couple and look blissfully happy.

    Stay happy, stay blessed

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  27. Congrats Red!!! Wishing you both the best and plenty years of marriage and good health.

    She's finally back to writing!! Woo-hoo !!(does a moon walk from excitement :P)

    Take care Red. More power to you.
    Alan

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    1. I would love to see that moon walk for real! Thanks Alan!

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  28. Woohoo! Many congratulations, Red. So glad that your parents finally accepted your Christian boy to the family and that you are now married! Yay! And yes, we missed your writes. So come back and pen down more! 😍

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    1. How kind :D
      I am going to do some blog hopping now. So much to catch up!

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  29. Congratulations Red! Wish you both a great life ahead! You have 30 million and 1 Gods to bless you now :)
    Quite a valid reason to take a break! But what a comeback! 50 comments tell me that people were waiting for ur comeback!
    Glad to see an old familiar mysterious caped blogger back on the scene!

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    1. hahaha I liked how you said 30 million and 1 Gods. Mysterious eh?

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  30. Wonderful to have you back. Congrats on the wedding against all odds :) now stay put in the blogosphere as well!

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  31. So ultimately you too fell into the trap :) congrats.

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  32. Good to see you back Red, and best wishes for a very happy married life! Hope you have many more ups than downs, now onwards:)

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  33. Best wishes! :). I have to admit, I was very surprised to see a Red Handed mail in my inbox. However, I have missed your writing, and this is a lovely start to my Sunday. Looking forward to your blogs!

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    1. I am glad to decided to visit. :D Thanks!!!

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  34. I couldn't believe I was seeing a post update from you! Love your new header and to hear the updates. Hope to see you blog more often :)

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    1. Thanks Sanch! I stalk you on instagram!

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  35. Wow ! I have been a person who knew a few of these secrets atleast and I am so proud you stood by your man. Despite things that were strong enough to force you to let go. You held on. Cheers to a blessed life ahead ! Love you and missed your posts a lot. Now that you're married you will have time to blog (if your honeymooning is over that is ) ;- )

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    1. I didnt go for a honeymoon. :P I need to read so many of your posts!

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  36. Welcome back Red! I think we both have taken too many breaks and welcomed each other :p but your coming back surely adds the spark to my blog reading list. Waiting to read more from you!

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    1. hahaha when r u getting back?!!! We two took a lot of breaks!

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  37. So happy to have you back! And many many congratulations on your marriage. Quite A love story! 😘
    Your blog and blog peeps were waiting patiently, now please don't leave us again.

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    1. I am glad you read this one. Ya I plan to blog regularly now :D

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  38. Congrats Red.. I liked that your parents stood by you as they said. Hope to see more from you..

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  39. Oh my God! You are back! I am so happy that you are back! And Congratulations :)
    Looking forward to read all your awesome posts! And yes, I loved the new header!

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    1. HEY YOU!!!!Thanks for being a constant supporter

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  40. Oh girl! Glad to see you back and hearty congratulations! Happy you married the man of your dreams and may everything be happy ever after. :-) was thinking sometimes were you disappeared..not that I am blogging regularly anyway...

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    1. hahah I did disappear now and then . Hopefully not this time! How have you been?

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  41. BIG congratulations you gorgeous person :) I did miss you and your posts but thought it must be something important keeping you away. Hope you are always happy, forever and forever. Lots of love and welcome back to the world of blogging. Also, love the header!

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    1. Thanks a lot Shailaja. I like how you stayed constant to your blogging. I must learn from you. :D Its not easy to continue having the same passion.

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  42. I don't know if you remember me, because I happened to find your blog and visit regularly just before you decided to go MIA. But ever since then, I have come back and read some of your older posts, so I'm thrilled that you are back on this blog, and with such great news too. Many congratulations. Wishing you the very best life has to offer. Hope to see you around here more often.

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    1. I do remember you and I am so glad that you read this instead of simply giving up on me. Thanks a lot. :)

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  43. Hello Red I can feel that you haven't expressed anywhere all the trauma that lies behind making any family understand. The 'silent treatment', snapping, calling names etc and I believe you've had your share of these things too but the way you were able to tell simply without any exaggeration makes you such a brave person!

    P.s--I think this is my first comment on your blog, I've been stalking you like crazy on Twitter. I think this post has really inspired me to continue with my own struggle in making my parents accept my guy. I'm shit scared but not gonna lose faith. Loads of love to you, I'm SOOOOO HAPPYYYY!!!!

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    1. I the share of all those and more, but during all those times I tried to understand things from their perspective. You cannot blame them for being protective. But give them time and they understand or at least start trying.

      I hope you find the courage and patience :)
      Trust me you will be fine

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  44. WOW.. this is was a totally unexpected news to read but very happy for you. Hope you always reach for the above average things :D

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  45. Congratulations, Red! It was always a pleasure to read your blog. Never commented though! Love, Tess!

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Spit It Out I Say !!!